* ♡ ⋮ ❛ SCREAM QUEENS SENTENCE STARTERS : PART ONE ❜ ⋮ ♡ *
these are mostly ripped from chanel’s most iconic lines and the pilot. please feel free to change pronouns as necessary. warning : some lines are very NSFW ; blood, r.acism, gore, etc.
“ did you just get your period all over yourself ??? ”
“ holy crap. who told you you could have a baby here tonight ??? ”
“ this is super embarrassing . . . i didn’t even know i was pregnant. ”
“ awwww is that a baby ??? that’s amazing !!! ”
“ i am NOT missing ‘waterfalls’ for this !!! waterfalls by TLC is my JAM. ”
“ we can’t just leave her/him/them here. ”
“ good morning, __________ . ”
“ these are my minions –– i don’t know their names, i don’t WANT to know their names. ”
“ i’ll see you ladies in bio. i have a colonic at ten. ”
“ life is a class system. ”
“ you’re not allowed to call me that. ”
“ the things you say are hilarious and poignant. ”
“ i’m sorry, did i ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt ??? ”
“ nobody likes a suck up, _____________ ”
“ i’m going to be honest. i hate sororities and i hate you. ”
“ my main problem with you ______________ is that you’re short, and historically short people are sneaky back stabbers like napoleon or paul schaffer. ”
“ baby you ain’t got it. ”
“ no !! please don’t do this to me !! ”
“ i would honestly rather not have you around. ”
“ what is that skirt ??? ”
“ i am a lawyer. i graduated summa cum laude from a fourth - tier law school in the caribbean, so i’m a pretty smart cookie. ”
“ we’re having a side - boob mixer followed by an all white party where everyone is encouraged to wear/be white. ”
“ i would not get personal with me, sweetheart. i don’t fight fair. ”
“ my grandma ain’t no joke, she’s like tiger woods’ daddy. tried to make me golf and everythin’. ”
“ i was worried i was going to get some religious freak or a c.utter for a roommate, but you’re dope. ”
“ this is going to be a year of infinite possibilities !! ”
“ each one of these gashes is worse than the next. ”
“ look: i’m not saying all heterosexual sex is r.ape. i’m saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and deep down every woman knows this. ”
“ i’m a candle vlogger !! ”
“ if you wanna stay at the top of the list of ass i’m getting, there’s certain criteria you have to hit. ”
“ okay –– i’m going to stop you there, because i’m getting really pissed off. ”
“ are you fake crying ??? stop fake crying. when you fake cry you are SO not hot. ”
“ look –– my ego is super strong. but it’s not strong enough that i can just go around dating garbage people. ”
“ if __________ gets their way, _____________ is gonna be filled with fatties & ethnics. ”
“ i’ll have trenta, no foam, five shot half - caf, no foam pumpkin spice latte with no foam at 210 degrees. ”
“ learn to make a pumpkin spice latte you psychopath. ”
“ next time ??? i’ll have you fired. or worse. ”
“ YOU DON’T DIE FROM HAVING YOUR FACE BURNT OFF !! ”
“ all those protests . . . all that marching . . . what did i get out of it ??? ”
“ you are awful in bed. i mean –– are you aware ??? you are just the worst. ”
“ look, i need to say something . . . i’m in love with you. ”
“ i’m gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here. ”
“ now i’m cold and i’ve got blue balls. this is the worst date ever. ”
“ someone is screwing with us. ”
“ these are SO my jam right now even though they make me obese. ”
“ i can’t stand you. but, you also remind me of a young me. so let’s compromise. ”
“ you put on a good front, but you’re miserable. ”
“ you’re so confident without being mean . . . what antidepressants are you on ??? ”
“ why are you so awful to everyone ??? ”
“ all this flowery peace and love crap ??? it makes me wanna puke. ”
“ yeah, walk away now !! you haven’t even seen half of what i’m capable of !! ”
