@terres-arides
He doesn’t know why he’s alive. It’s something he’s gone over time and time again, but it still doesn’t make sense. He should be dead, and he has the scar to prove it. But the fact that he was stabbed isn’t surprising--that’s happened to him enough over the years that it’s become almost boring at this point--but that, upon being saved, he’s been allowed to remain living. He imagines it’s because of the handy placement of the scar that makes it a message to others not to try to kill the Emperor with some idiotic, half thought out scheme.
Then he did it again, joined the storming of the brig in an attempt to kill her again. He’d made it out of that one alive, but Hugh hadn’t. He saw him die. And he saw it again and again every time he closed his eyes. For a little while, things had gone back to normal, but how he’s dead. And why is he still alive? Why is he here? Why did she not just kill him like she killed Hugh? Is a stupid flagship worth that much? He’s thought about destroying it, about letting her kill him, giving her a reason to, but his survival instinct hadn’t let him. So he contented himself with biding his time until he can make a third attempt on her life. And this time, it will end with one of them dead.
But that is not now. Now he bides his time, works, proves that he has changed his ways and owes himself to her completely. If she asks him to jump, he asks how high. He crafts her her ship. He hopes she chokes on it. He works on the ship powered by the super-mycelial reactor. It’s beautiful. His magum opus, his pride and joy. It’s the only thing that brings him any semblance of happiness anymore. Then something goes wrong. It’s nothing big, just a small, little explosion. But it’s big enough, because when he straightens, he’s there.
But it’s not him. He’s wrong. He’s in white, for one, and he’s too...clean. The familiar black circles that ring brown eyes are nowhere to be seen, and the curls of his hair seem fresher. Healthier. He seems healthier. But it’s still him, isn’t it? “...Hugh?”