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corporate work is a lot of doublethink im saying “restructuring” when i mean layoffs and im saying “trouble with resourcing” when i mean layoffs and im always smiling and friendly even tho i dont want to and always accepting when my manager asks me to add or change something that he really should’ve spoken up about weeks before but its ok because i am trying to be pleasant to the people (real people, not AI not yet) around me. this reminds me a lot of when i lived in the middle east and had to pretend i was not an apostate lol i did a lot of doublethink there too and it was exhausting to present one way to my family and then keep my truth hidden in my mind and never let it out because if they found out they might kill me. this is different because i only need to present this way and doublethink while at work and not all the time but its taking me back to that time with all the lying and the exhausting doublethink and the pretending to smile and pretending to be agreeable and AI does feel like god like i feel the same fear i did back then when i was trying to hide that i feel now when i interact with it but this time it’s just the knowledge that the AI im forced to use is learning from my use on how to replace me lmao. at least it’s not trying to kill me (yet) but you know. This is kinda funny because i think im in the process of inventing a new kind of AI psychosis and mine is going to be way more interesting

#every morning i wake up and it’s like oh right i… have this job……#I think it’s just 2026 in this industry like everyone feels this not just me #and i can only speak for my own thoughts but god this sucks lol #this actually is a trial im like Jesus rn #im being tested #im like job #LOL actually it’s called job for that reason #this is a TEST #god is TESTING ME #and im failing because i keep just looking at ****** ******** ****************#*************#************** **** **********#also going from this to like the overstimulation factory (my house) is so hard lol #i feel like for real god is punishing me #i have to jsut remember he’s not real and go look at some images #anyway im moving back east in a few weeks so that plus my pmdd plus some work deadlines plus my kid going thru a defiant streak is really #it’s really soooooo hard haha #and ive barely written anything this week ive just been struggling to get through #well it’s Thursday at least #almost the weekend #ok anyway good morning let’s get the bag i guess

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This series has almost killed me…It’s not done yet, but I have decided to post half and then continue working on the other half that explains how this happened.

I was initially inspired by @itspusspeepers‘s heartbreaking but also mind-blowing art to paint something equally heartbreaking. I thought I would finish it by letting Regis slip into eternal hibernation next to Geralt’s body while dreaming a reunion with his beloved witcher in that slumber. However, I decided it would be too cruel for them - they deserve something better than this crappy ending!!!;

And so I managed a different “ending”. However, I just discovered I have made everything more complicated, and the series has to be extended, for I prefer to tell a story with most of its details explained.

In fact, I wondered if this series could somehow be an alternative ending of @misakikaito‘s amazing fanfic sanguinem et dolorem et mortem where (****spoiler (extend the tags to see))?

Finally, I added a few so-called “subtitles” to help tell the story and make them look more….canon? (sheepish smile

Anyhow, I have to thank all of you who have encouraged me with warm words and @seherrons @little—games (I always read and love your long tags!) @contravenetum @asparrowsfall . I doubt I would have made it without you guys since I have thought about giving up several times by now.

But not to worry, I will try my best not to leave the series as it is right now - I can hardly think of anything else to do during holidays other than painting my favorite couple.