#**negative

[the-b0neyard]

**maybe this isn’t going to happen

[svengang]

**im gonna try to do stuff tomorrow

**my mom is visiting and I’m just beat and not feeling really inspired so

[the-b0neyard]

*for the moment don’t get your hopes up about me coming back

*i it’s rally cannot force myself to care about anything atm

**im sorry

[sevensav--d-archived]

*nvm maybe I won’t be active again

[sevensav--d-archived]

*me: I’m gonna be active again!! Let’s reblog some memes!!

🦗

*me: okay nevermind I getcha-

[sevensav--d-archived]

cw me being a whiny bitch

** it’s ‘give up and quit trying to make things happen’ hours again

**I dunno guys it’s just

**I don’t see the point most of the time

**im not bringing anything to the table and I’m just?? Not??? Like I don’t really blame anyone for not writing with me I really don’t bc why would anyone???

**like??? Who cares about this, what I’m writing??? I barely even do at this point

**people o used to write with don’t write with me or even talk to me anymore and I’m so hurt by it when like??? I give no reason for anyone to stay

**I just wish I could like

**be content with how things are bc oc content just isn’t the same as canon content canon content is always going to the favorite and default bc it’s REAL

**why both with whatever I’m doing

**and then I start to think it’s really just ME that’s the problem bc I do write a canon character but the pool for writing there is small too. And it’s bc of how I write him probably. No one seems to have any problem with the many other ways the same character can be interpreted but for some reason my interpretation isn’t worth a go

**yes I’m whining yes I’m being bitter and angry but I know that most of these kinds of posts go unread so that makes me feel like I can air out this dirty laundry so I can go back to being happy with not really playing as major of a role in the rpc as id like to

**anyway this has been bones bitch hour thanks for joining me

[sevensav--d-archived]

**this is just the oc experience but I wish people got as hyped about my ships as I do

**when an rpc puts so much stock in ships it’s just like

**hard

**like obviously any ship I’m in is a rarepair bc my character isn’t even real

**and I don’t have the energy or skill to draw my own shippy fanart

**im sad and I can’t sleep