fool's journey - where do you go in your dr when you need to remember who you are ? the location that feels more like home than home itself. what makes this place yours, and what do you do there that you can't do anywhere else ?
The ranch always felt like home away from home. It was apart of our family’s history, close to Graceland but far enough away from the cameras and the chaos.
Home to several animals, fosters and horses, we had amazing ranch hands on site. Despite that, I’ve always been included; even at such a young age. Being from a family of legends no one had the time to love these babies but myself.
There are moments where I have a shoot or a show. Maybe a movie and a voice acting gig. But I’ll always return to the ranch. There will always be time for the chickens, the goats & sheep.
I feel like I can be myself here. Not just Barbie, but Barbara. The Barbara that loves her animals more than anyone else.
day 1: midnight mass:
what do you do in your dr when you can’t sleep ?
where do you go, what do you touch,
how do you comfort yourself in the dark ?
⛧°. ⋆༺ ♱ Slayer DR ♱༻⋆. °⛧
It's 1997, so it's not like I can whip my laptop out and browse the internet, or lie awake until 5am doom scrolling -- and this is not a complaint. It's a perk.
Instead, I slip out of my window and go on a late night patrol. I should probably be patrolling anyway, so I may as well if I can't sleep.
I don't sleep much anyway, what with all the things I have to do and my Slayer duties.
what do you do in your dr when you can't sleep? where do you go, what do you touch, how do you comfort yourself in the dark?
𝖂hen Princess Spence cannot sleep, she does what any other doll would do.
Stay up all night on her phone? Dread her past mistakes and cringe at anything she has ever done wrong? No. Not tonight, at least.
Tonight, Spencer Jane needs to talk to someone. Someone important; for this someone is the reason our doll is up all night in the first place.
Maybe we were right about the dread and the phone: Spencer Jane, for the first time in her entire existence, is stressed the fuck out.
She’s survived cheer camp, dance competitions, opening her own company and being on camera 24/7, but this doll cannot seem to handle a crush.
Every night, it seems our doll is up all night thinking of another, quite beautiful doll.
Lola Kiana Hills.
Lola was unique in her own being. A very eccentric doll, with bright and vibrant ginger hair and a smile that shines all over Fake Malibu.
Princess Spence felt unsure. It was unknown to her if her costar & friend would feel the same way. But tonight was the night to find out.
As Spencer Jane (our very brave protagonist) walked out to their spot, a Barbie™️ Limited Edition Treehouse™️, her nerves wouldn’t seem to shoo. What if Lola didn’t feel the same way? What if this ruins their friendship? What about the show? What if-
No. Shut up. What about positive manifestation for once in your life? What if, just maybe, she feels the same way?
As the clock struck 12, our very very brave protagonist went up the stairs & into the treehouse. There sat Lola, looking quite confused.
She wanted to know why we’re meeting so late.
Oh joy. Okay. Here goes nothing.
As I drag the words out of my mouth, something sappy & quick and along the lines of “I’m in love with you, Lola” except you need to imagine the tears in my eyes and the several butterflies lining my large intestine. She stared. I stared. We stared at each other.
I was gonna shit myself. Or, at least, it felt like it.
It was until the beautiful ginger girl looked me dead in my blue, plastic eyes and said “Finally.”
From that night forward, Spencer Jane & Lola Kiana have been glued to the hip. The Midnight Mass that changed their lives forever.
what do you miss most about your desired reality when you're in your current reality ? which physical sensation feels wrong or missing here ? maybe it's the absence of someone's hand in yours, or the missing sound of a voice calling your name. what part of your reality's body do you reach for that isn't there ?
there are certain aspects of my identity so integrated into who i am that …. not having them here makes me feel like a piece of meat with no purpose (bit macabre. i promise it's not really this dramatic).
my magic. or the lack of it, here. yes, having a wand is cool and you feel like a whimsical warlock while having it in your hands, but my family is a bit different from the others. see: i failed to mention this in my dr intro, but lady hecate, centuries ago (aka: just before my family would pull their political strings and be the right, and left, hand of octavian) blessed the colts because of their devotion to the ancient gods. especially to her. not only we are a master class in alchemy and potions of any capacity, but mixing them with ancient spells and rituals created by us and passed it down from family member to family member, our blood, necromancy if someone really pissed you off, our craft…..let's say i am called the love witch for a reason. thank you, glamour colt magic.
from my mother, i get my seer abilities. even if since i was a child i had them here too, they are not as strong as they are in my true home. what do you mean my eyes don't become of a weird white when i see the future? what do you mean what i see in my dreams has the probability to become real all depending on my choices? what do you mean i don't feel, as if i am there, what is happening in my visions? my intuition is good, but is not great.
and what happens when a colt and a seer have a baby? they get a metamorphmagus. hi. this is tragic. my genes are written on a paper and are not in constant changing making me a treat for the ministry. wanting to have pink hair and having to dye them or manifest it's … something! or changing my lips. or my eyes. changing the colour or texture of my hair based on the outfit that i am wearing. noooooo. i don't like it < / 3
also, my tarots talk. and when i ask them the same question over and over because i am paranoid, they scream at me. i guess we all know where i got my sarcasm from!
my familiar is part of me. if i try to look through the eyes of my magic bombay cat named salem, i can. i don't even have a cat here (i will change that, though) but, my cat still wouldn't talk. and i wouldn't be an animagus and have my own cult of cats around hogwarts. i catch myself wanting to call my silly sarcastic familiar and then i am only met with my brother who is going through puberty and hates me. which still happens in my dr, but at least i have my cat.
and my castle….. wizardry rome….. the lack of technology.
i can connect with nature and yes, nature still hugs me, but i can't feel it in my head. the flowers are beautiful, but they don't tell me to take them and make my nails of a beautiful purple. cherries are red but i don't use them as earrings. my parents don't own a castle in rome and thirteen manors around the world, and i don't spend the summers with my cousins trying to understand if the magical creatures my uncle is studying will kill us if we try to pet them. i don't hang out at the cemetery practicing blood rituals and wandless magic, and i don't have a salem who tells me that my best friend should stop drinking coffee because he is too excited for life.
walking and feeling the energy of my blood being different from others. being in bed and not having to get up to take something that is on the other side of the room. having personal gardens where the temple of your goddess is waiting for you to enter in. running full speed in my castle while passing through portraits of my ancestors. people calling me cherry. my fabulous pout. opening a history book and seeing the word dragon and it being serious about it too.
my bedroom is a phantom limb. it's my sacred space. welcoming people in and seeing their faces light up at the knight armour near my bed, enchanted (by me) to protect me from physical and spiritual attacks. my sanctuary being of the same size of a king's coronation room. my bed being so big and purple that you feel like a princess in a fantasy book. the perfume of lavander aching in my lungs. the secret door that leads me in my personal library, or the window that faces down the my private garden where i usually have breakfasts. my house elves twiggy and tikki helping me to decide which shirt to wear that match my socks. the mirror who compliments me every morning. the multitudes of teddy bears. the tarots and the crystals and the amulets i will gift to my friends and family and myself. (if i am not greedy enough to keep them for myself….!)
