Merry Christmas, yourpencilcase!
I’ll be Yours too
Summary: Stiles catches Derek with Paige, but this isn’t about that.
*****
It hurt. Stiles was over lying to himself when it came to Derek. He was over underestimating the effect the werewolf had on him and his feelings. But this wasn’t about him. This was about stupid ass Derek, I’m sorry, Stiles internally apologised,’ Mr President of the stupid Student Council’ sitting twenty feet away from him with Paige, oh wait my mistake, ‘Miss Secretary of the stupid Student Council’. Actually, back up, not just sitting, Paige had her eyes closed and head resting on Derek’s shoulder.
Stiles could see them through the front of the coffee shop window. Derek moved to pick up his drink saying something quickly to Paige. Stiles’ inside burned as he watched Paige shift as she laughed looking up at Derek as he smiled back at her open and content.
It was the picturesque definition of happy, young love. The anger that was beginning to build slowed as Stiles looked away and headed back towards his jeep. He sighed before letting his head fall against the steering wheel and slowly counting to ten.
Stiles blinked away the tears that had been forming and willed them to go away. There was no reason to cry. He didn’t see anything incriminating. His head told him his boyfriend was sitting next to a girl who was just resting her head on his shoulder.
“No.”
A chocked sob escaped Stiles as the tears began to form. He chewed his bottom lip as he watched the small drops fall onto his lap.
His heart told him he was being left behind.
***
How was training? Hopefully Finstock wasn’t too rough on you guys. I’ll give you ride tomorrow?
Cora mentioned you guys had a history quiz Friday. Don’t exhaust yourself, let me know if you need help.
[missed call DEREK HALE]
Just wanted to say good night =)
***
“Stiles! Go see Derek.”
Stiles was ready to move on and not make the coffee shop incident an incident. However, the day after, watching Derek leaning beside Paige’s locker before class proved to Stiles that he wasn’t the bigger man. He could taste the bitter words that were on the tip of the tongue that morning. Stiles was ready to scream and yell, let Derek know exactly how he felt. Stiles was always better at fighting with his words. But he didn’t want to fight…not with Derek.
“He’s lost without you or something. He’s been asking for you all day. He came and asked me, Stiles.”
As popular as Derek was, it still brought a smile to his face that his werewolf boyfriend was always hesitant and somewhat afraid of the all mighty strawberry blonde girl that was Lydia Martin.
“Is he?” Stiles went for innocent. It’s been three days. Derek was bound to start asking for him.
Lydia cocked her head and looked right at Stiles. Immediately, Stiles felt the need to tighten his grip on his bag and play with his hoodie string. He held her gaze for as long as possible before finally looking away, playing it cool.
“What happened?” Huh, it didn’t work.
“Stiles!”
There are moments when Stiles refuses to talk to Scott, refuses to even acknowledge his existence, often after petty fights. However, there are also moments where Stiles could kiss Scott and happily sell his first born for his best friend. This was one of those moments.
“Scotty! My man,” Stiles yelled back immediately heading towards Scott leaving Lydia to catch up while muttering a fierce, “We’re not done here.”
Scott turned to Lydia and said a quick hello before turning to Stiles and saying, “Derek’s looking for you. He said you hadn’t replied or picked up your phone in a few days. He seems a little anxious.”
Stiles held back the urge to grind his teeth. Would it be wrong to throw a chair at your werewolf best friend? It wouldn’t hurt him and he’d heal, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
“I’ll talk to him later,” Stiles assured Scott attempting to shrug of the concern.
“There’s an extra training session for the game tomorrow right now. He’s with the team,” Scott said before rushing off towards Allison.
Stiles stilled as his eyes followed Scott across the school parking lot. Scott had that same shit eating grin at every mention of Allison and Allison had that fond look every time she was reminded that Scott turned into a freaking puppy only for her.
Lydia sighed beside him, “Sort it out, Stilinski.”
***
Haven’t seen you in a while. I’ll see you at the game tomorrow right?
You ok? Lydia glared at me in the corridor today.
Night <3
***
“Stiles, it’s Saturday. Pancakes. Please,” the Sheriff said exasperated.
“What’s wrong with what you have?”
The Sheriff paused. “It’s granola, Stiles. It’s dry.”
Stiles scoffed, “That is a terrible reason. Add some yoghurt.”
The Sheriff grimaced subtly before standing and opening the fridge. Stiles: one, Father o’mine: zero.
“So, Derek came over the other morning. Said he was supposed to drive you to school.” The Sheriff paused, looking over at Stiles playing with his cereal. “You guys ok, kiddo?”
“Mhm,” Stiles muttered, briefly glancing at his father.
“Didn’t go to the game did you?” Stiles turned his focus back on his food, trying not to react. He’d spent all afternoon after school pacing his room trying to convince himself to face the music. To face Derek.
The Sheriff sighed before saying, “I’m here for you, son.”
***
“Stiles! Wait up.”
Honestly, Stiles’ first instinct was to run. He’d never live it down; the day Stiles Stilinski attempted to outrun the great Derek Hale.
Stiles turns to find Derek jogging towards him with an excited toddler in his arms.
“Hey. I’ve missed you,” Derek says as he puts his hands around Stiles and leaning in.
Stiles puts his hands on Derek’s chest and ducks out of his arms returning Derek’s smile with an uncertain one.
“Who’s this?” Stiles questions motioning towards the child resting against Derek’s hip. Stiles raises his hand prompting a hi-five.
Derek pauses and frowns before answering, “This is Isaac. I’m baby-sitting for one of our neighbours.” Isaac eyes Stiles hand before burying his face in Derek’s neck and sniffing. Werewolf baby, Stiles notes.
“Hey Isaac. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Stiles.”
“Stiles,” Isaac giggles, fisting Derek’s shirt. Derek dips his head, rubbing his forehead against Isaac’s. Stiles looks away, feeling extremely out of place.
“Derek. Ice-cream,” Isaac softly reminds Derek.
“Oh yes, I didn’t forget,” Derek chuckles. “Stiles, come with us.”
***
Stiles finds himself seated at a booth facing a confused Derek and a blissfully ignorant Isaac. Conversation had so far been stilted and Stiles could tell Derek was getting increasingly frustrated. Stiles watched Isaac messily but happily scoop at his ice-cream.
“Stiles, we ok?” Derek finally asked after giving up on Stiles to start to the conversation. “You haven’t returned my calls or any of my texts this past week. I thought you were just tired or just needed to study. I thought it was about school.”
Stiles bit his lip and looked away. He wasn’t ready.
Stiles shared a timid smile ignoring the skip in his heartbeat. “I’m fine. I’m sorry I missed your game yesterday.”
Derek stopped and studied Stiles face. “You’re not fine.” He reached for Stiles hands on the table, turning his hands over so he could lace their fingers together.
Stiles glanced down at their fingers and wanted to cry. Does Derek know what he’s doing?
“Stiles, what’s wrong? You’re upset. You smell like pain and your heart rate has been unsteady the entire time we’ve been together today.”
Stiles smiles and says, “Did we win yesterday?” Add another tally to ‘Stiles changes the topic’ he thinks.
“Y-yeah, we did.” Derek pauses. “Was a close game, came down to the last two minutes. Even Lydia got excited and you know how she is. She hates basketball.” Derek’s words getting softer and fingers tightening against Stiles fingers.
“Should we break up?”
“What?”
Stiles looks Derek in the eye. The words had been running through his head all morning since bumping into Derek. They came out more like a question than a statement.
Derek loosens his hold on Stiles hand.
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then no, Stiles. We’re not breaking up.”
Affronted, at Derek’s response, Stiles pulls his hands away from Derek’s.
“Have you seen yourself around Paige?”
“P-Paige? Why are you talking about Paige?”
“You look happy with her. You two look good together –“
“Stiles, stop.”
“The coffee shop scene was cute –“
“C-coffee shop?”
“Like a movie scene. Romeo and Juliet-esque –“
“Stiles –“
“It’s fine if you two really want to. I’d let you. I always thought I was in deeper than you were anyway.”
There’s silence after that, Stiles out of breath and feeling vulnerable at the admission. Derek looks taken aback and Isaac is glancing between the two of them looking like he’s about to cry.
“Derek, can we go home.”
Derek looks away from Stiles and smiles at Isaac. “Sure buddy, give me a second.” He turns to Stiles and shakes his head, “You’ve got it wrong. This conversation isn’t finished.”
Derek pats Isaac on the back before standing up and heading towards the counter to pay.
“Are you ok? You smell sad.”
Stiles looks towards Isaac and smiles. “I’m ok. You like your ice-cream?”
Isaac gives a short nod before giving Stiles a calculating stare. Stiles looks away and gets ready to leave.
“Derek’s my bodyguard. He said he could protect me from all the bad guys.” Isaac started. “He can be yours too. He’ll protect you too, Stiles.”
***
Stiles, pick up. I don’t know what you think you saw, but nothing happened, has happened, is happening or will happen between Paige and I or me and another one else.
Stiles I’m coming over.
Where are you? Are you over at Scott’s? Don’t move.
[38 missed calls DEREK HALE]
“Will you just pick up? Derek is going to freak. You know what that means? That means our basketball captain will be distracted for his games, we’ll lose and it will be your fault.”
“Erica, just –“ Boyd began.
“He needs to hear this. Stiles, Derek and Paige? Never going to happen. You know why? He has you. Get it in your thick head.”
“I know he’s not cheating.”
“Then go talk to him. What have you been doing?”
“I don’t want to break up with him.”
From the day Stiles met Derek, he knew Derek was out of his league. He was popular, the basketball captain and had every student at their knees. He was well-liked, had good grades and was breathtakingly gorgeous. Stiles loved Derek’s quiet determination as he managed all his commitments, the subtle concentration on his face during every basketball game and his unashamed sense of loyalty towards his friends.
“He’s not breaking up with you. Are you breaking up with him?” Boyd asked gently.
“You should’ve seen them. Derek looked so happy –“
“Derek always looks happy with you,” Erica interrupted.
Three months ago before a game, Derek had muttered a quiet "You're interesting. Different,” before leaning in and placing chaste kiss on Stiles lips. Stiles had been so happy then, couldn’t wipe the smile off his face the entire night. Derek hadn’t wanted to hide their relationship. Derek loved openly and Stiles loved that about him.
Stiles sighed. “I’m just worried.” He closed his eyes. “Derek is my friend. I’m Derek’s friend. His greatest quality is always protecting those around him. He’d never want to hurt me. I know that.”
Erica and Boyd, looked at him patiently and waited.
“If he finds out later that I’m not worth it, it’ll hurt more, by then I’ll be in too deep. It’s easier if it finishes earlier,” Stiles smiles softly.
Erica looked down and away, feeling bad for her harsh words earlier.
“You don’t see it do you?” Boyd says sadly. “Derek is panicking. He’d always said that if you were hurt, he’d personally see to it himself. You don’t even have to know Derek to know that you matter to him. His eyes look for you as soon as he can smell your scent, his eyes track you whenever you’re near. His still has to fist his hands to hide the claws whenever you and Scott do your weird best friend thing. He can’t control the urge hold your hand whenever Heather is nearby and he can’t see himself leaving Beacon Hills for college because he’d be leaving you here. It doesn’t take much to see you’re it for him. I know Derek. You know Derek. Wolves mate for life, you guys are still young, and there’s no saying you’ll be together forever but if he can’t see himself leaving you for college, he’s not leaving you for Paige. Follow your heart, Stiles.”
Stiles just wants to cry.
** *
When Stiles hears, the first thing out of his mouth is Derek’s name. He feels his windpipe closing and tears welling in his eyes. The Sheriff is immediately by him counting each breath they take together. His grip on his father’s sleeve doesn’t loosen.
He knew something was up when the police cruiser was waiting for him outside the school. His father had asked for him to be driven to the station and the officer in the car had been tight-lipped but nervous.
“He’s at the hospital. His uncle is there.”
“D-Dad is he-?
“He’s fine. He was on his way to school early for training. Laura’s flying down to be with him.”
“Can I see him?
His dad looked at him sadly. “They’re watching him for shock. They’ll look after him.”
** *
Stiles is driven home and attempts to call Derek the moment he reaches his room. Derek doesn’t pick up and Stiles has a second panic attack that day.
He leans against his door, head between his knees, counting his breaths.
Get some rest, Derek <3
***
Of all places, Stiles sees Derek at the park with Isaac three days later. Derek’s bundled up in a hoodie, hands in his pocket, sitting on a bench, eyes following Isaac’s every move. As Stiles approaches, Derek shifts his focus to him. Stiles can see the bags under Derek’s eyes and the weariness in the way he moves. Stiles sits and immediately takes Derek’s hands out of his pockets, covering them with his own.
Derek looks away and swallows heavily.
“You know when my mom was sick, I felt helpless. I couldn’t make it anything better for her or for my dad. It’s not the same but –“ Stiles pauses looking at Derek, “Just don’t forget them.”
Derek gasps and Stiles the Derek’s front crumble as the tears fall and pain shows in his expression. Stiles lets go of Derek’s hands to reach around his neck. Derek falls into the embrace as his breaths become laboured and uneven, head resting against the crook of Stiles neck.
Derek swallows and says quietly, “I know they were in pain. I couldn’t share any of it.”
Stiles holds onto Derek and doesn’t let go.
Stiles doesn’t hear him until he’s pulling at his arm and saying, “You made him cry. Leave him alone.” He looks down to see Isaac standing between him and Derek looking distressed and vexed.
Isaac places his hands on his hips and stands tall in front of Stiles and announces, “Derek’s hurt. I’m his bodyguard now.”
“Isaac –“ Derek starts.
“No, he’s right.” Stiles gives Isaac a fond smile and turns to Derek. Stiles gently cups Derek face with his hands.
“I’ve always wanted to be a bodyguard. I’ll be yours too.”