im going to vomit
i have 4 more pages of latin to translate and im not at all prepped for my italian exam tomorrow, in the two weeks of class i didn’t go to she went through A Lot and it’s not difficult content but too much to memorize in a handful of days
and i know i know i brought this upon myself but
everything is exhausting and im overwhelmed and about to cry and i have to leave for mass soon but all i want to do is curl up in bed and give up
this past week has just been So Much
Too Much
i dont want this anymore and im afraid
what am i doing? where am i going? i need to keep going to keep myself out of my parents’ house but when does it end? when do i get to stop fighting and struggling and living in fear of having to fall back on them? I’ve been pushing myself at 110% for years to keep myself afloat and sane, and im so so tired
i dont get to take time off and stay with my parents and figure out what im doing, i dont get the luxury like all my friends and classmates, who didn’t grow up just on the poverty line, always with that instability and insecurity, and who havent pushed themselves past breaking for years just to live on their own away from an abusive household
im so tired, so tired God
when does it end Lord? when? Usquequo Domine, irasceris in finem?