I want coffee like I don’t even like coffee but I’m craving it rn

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I want coffee like I don’t even like coffee but I’m craving it rn
NO PLEASE DON'T GO PLEASEEEE
I DONT WANT TO GO BUT THE LIKES, MAN
I MADE A PROMISE
*is outlining pariah's introduction*
*trying to decide how crazy this intro should be*
*half-asleep brain suggests horrifically fucked-up shit*
...goddamn.
I am too tired to deal with my friends' sexuality crises. But I'm nice so I'll do it anyway.