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i just got out of therapy and i need some words of affirmation. here’s a preview of my “Viktor has DID” fic. Jayce POV because i like to write character that are obsessed.

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It’s about 3 months into their partnership when Jayce really starts to notice The Change.

It’s not always there. On days when Viktor leans on his cane rather than just using it to stay steady, he’s a little bit… different. At first, Jayce learned to think of this as just the normal changes in mood that might come with being in pain, but there were some things that didn’t quite add up.

On days where Viktor was in more pain, he didn’t smile as easily, or laugh at Jayce’s jokes. Understandable.

But he didn’t accept Jayce’s offered pastries or coffees. His preferred mug (a gift from Jayce that read “world’s greatest scientist”) sat unused in the cabinet by the coffee maker in favor of a plain black thermos Viktor brought from home. When Jayce offered to refill it, instead of smiling kindly and accepting or denying the offer, he’d snap at Jayce that he ‘…didn’t need anyone else’s help just because [he was] a cripple!”, and Jayce would back off.

And once again, this could have all been reasonable. Fluctuations in people’s personalities happen all the time, especially when there’s extenuating circumstances like pain involved.

But then Jayce made Viktor’s afternoon coffee and Viktor grudgingly poured it from his “world’s greatest scientist” mug into his thermos after a quick glare at Jayce, only to spit it out and mutter “I do not take sugar,” and pour the whole thing down the sink in the lab.

Except… Jayce had been making Viktor’s coffee the same way for the last 3 months, and so… that was strange.

He could’ve fought him on it, but it didn’t seem worth it. Jayce didn’t always like his coffee the same way either. Sometimes he drank it with just a bit of sugar and sometimes he took it with more milk than coffee. It depended on his mood.

So, Jayce remembered afterwards that when Viktor had bad pain days, he didn’t take sugar in his coffee.

Except, there was still something bugging him. At the back of his mind. Not the preference, but the way he’d stated it.

“I do not take sugar.”

Not. “I wasn’t in the mood for sugar.” Or “I’m not taking sugar today.” Just. “I don’t take sugar.”

Which… was weird. It was weird for him to say it that way when Jayce very clearly knew that he did take sugar in his coffee sometimes because he made it for him at least 3 times a week.

But maybe it’s just a slip of the tongue? A mistranslation, though Viktor’s precision of language has never really left anything to be desired except maybe slang, which could be attributed more to age than to anything else.

Jayce tries to brush it off.

But it’s not the only thing.

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someone tell me this is interesting I beg. I just spent 50 minutes unpacking my deepest insecurities and i am feeling wounded.

#jayvik #viktor did au #modern au btw #because i simply do no care to find a good canon compliant alternative to ‘maybe googled the weird things about viktor to find answers’#*jayce #can’t be bothered to fix that and so i will not