#*ruivë

[pimpmyaravel]

bad.... dorianings.....

this is.... krem/dorian and ru<>dorian stuff but it's heavy on the dorian/bull thoughts and my thoughts are "this is toxic and abusive and miserable" so proceed w caution here bc there are good points and hope and shit but serious major emotional and sexual and physical abuse warnings and major self esteem problems and drinking problems warnings ok seriously

mir

ok so. my krem/dorian thing originates since before the game came out where i was just like "you are both so hot and date each other"

but then the whole bull/dorian catastrophe gave me really extensive thoughts on krem/dorian being an especially good thing and

helping sort all the shit out and i. hold on i have a thing

mother FUCKER i didnt' realize that twitter doesn't keep direct messages infinitely back in time lmao cool i didn't copy paste those

i figured i'd just go get it all later and it's all gone! cool!

ok

basically dorian/bull is mutually toxic and shitty as hell and i think krem/dorian is good bc reasons and i'm frustrated now

will

Do u remember most of it?

mir

yeah but it was a long thing and i'm really frustrated i wanted to share those dorianbull thoughts honestly

oh wel i guess while i'm here time to copy all these embarrassing sexy headcanons from the other day lmao

will

I heard some stuff abt dorian bull

mir

it was really good dorian meta mostly honestly it was just all about like. his drinking problem and his self hate issues and ugh

will

Ah yeah.

I just want him to b w someone who helps him b his best

mir

basically ppl on either side of the dorianbull argument are way too extreme. either they're like "bull did nothing wrong and they

are in a totally happy and healthy relationship and dorian chose it 100% and doesn't have a drinking problem and nothing is toxic"

or they're like "the iron bull is a literal abusive horrible demon from hell who just wants to rape dorian while he's drunk" like Woah buddy

bull has a clearly defined line in his head between "his people" and "everyone else" and yeah he does to an extent see them as not people?

so like there's that right off the bat. and u can't tell me bull wouldn't see dorian as a conquest. like he would. for sure.

but he's also not completely without regard for consent so i'm sure he would stop if dorian said no but the thing is dorian WONT

dorian hates himself. that's the most important thing to remember about their relationship is that dorian fucking hates himself

he preens about his looks so much bc somewhere along the line he got this idea in his head that the only thing he has of value is that

he's just a pretty face with good breeding that he squandared and he's trying to be a good person but it's really fucking hard

and people like. often won't even LET him like they don't give him the chance to learn or grow or change things or help??? it's shit

so anyway dorian is here and he's trying and he's suffering and he's scared and he's blaming himself for some part of this of course

bc he's taken on this ridiculous mantle of like. I Am The Redeemer Of All Tevinter therefore somehow the venatori are his Personal Problem??

but he's. alone. a non romanced dorian even one who is close w the inquisitor is alone a lot of the time and alone in That way anyway

and we know he spends a lot of his time hating himself and drinking by himself. and bull. lives where the drinks are. so it's.

it's canon that they started out with one drunk hookup and it goes from there. my thoughts is just. it's not a good time.

dorian hates himself and is deeply ashamed and he's ashamed even of the good parts. he's ashamed it happened and he's ashamed he liked any

of it and he wants to erase it from history from his mind from anything but bull is smug and also dorian never said no

so dorian hears about it again. and bull drops hints he'd be down for another round whenever dorian wanted. and dorian. hates himself. so.

so like he doesn't go down to the tavern thinking "i'm going to go let this qunari fuck me in ways i don't want bc i hate myself" but also

that's basically what he does. like. he doesn't think he deserves better? it happens and he's like "this is what i deserve"

and bull probably knows dorian isn't completely happy or unaltered in his consent but on the surface dorian doesn't say no and

will

Yeah dorian has a LOT of self esteem issues and

With the inquisitor you get to help him see some of the better things abt himself

mir

bull honestly doesn't care about him as a person enough to push it all that much??? like he's just an accessory to the boss and like

bull clearly sees the inquisitor as a person but. dorian's just a guy. a guy who will let bull do anything to him. repeatedly. w/o complaint. 

bull isn't a bad person per se but like. he's. not a person. he has a very different way of seeing and feeling than a person why do ppl not acknowledge this. anyway

dorian thinks this is what he deserves but what dorian NEEDS is someone to tell him no you don't deserve that you deserve gentleness

dorian doesn't even realize he's seeking out more sharp edges to cut him on basically but he is. he goes back to bull bc it's like

it's easier to keep hating yourself if you keep having more reasons and it's? like? low self esteem is a hell of a drug

when you feel yourself almost getting out of a bad mental place it's so easy to have it pull you back down

like. when ru first notices something's wrong they're like "are you okay please tell me what's going on" and he snaps at them like

"who do you think you are, my parents? i'm an adult i can make my own choices, i know what i want" and ru's like. stunned for a second

and then they're like "i just want you to be happy. and safe. and i want to know you're actually making those choices for yourself"

dorian gets himself in way too deep and he can't get out and he's miserable and when he finally tells ru the's just like

will

:(

mir

"this is my fault and i deserve it i deserve everything he's not a bad person i just let him hurt me i want him to i'm disgusting"

and ru is like "no you're not and no you don't and you are coming the fuck home with me when we're done with this"

"and that is going to be the last decision anyone ever makes for you ok"

will

I mean ur right on point

mir

ru marches straight to bull and is like excuse me but i have something to say to you. bull's like hey boss what's up

ru rolls back their sleeves. punches bull in the face. he's like "damn that actually hurt i assume you have a reason for that??"

will

Does ru basically adopt dorian??

mir

"look. i know he won't say it. there's reasons for that that don't need to be explained in public or honestly ever unless he chooses to, but

he won't say what he actually wants. he won't tell you to stop. so i'm telling you. he's mine, not yours, alright? my people.

touch him again and it's the last time you have hands, i don't care how useful they are to me or the inquisition, got it?"

and of course bull respects that and is honestly a little dismayed at himself for obviously having taken the thing w dorian too far

ru goes back to dorian and tells him it's over and he's just like what do you mean it's over and they're just. it's. over.

when we seal that big hole in the sky, you're coming back with me, and i'll personally fist fight the keeper if he tries to turn you out

dorian laughs and is just like. now that i'd like to see. on second thought, i'd prefer to meet him on better terms?

ru's like. well. so would i. but i don't care. i'd do it. honestly i'd do anything for you so just. don't. don't think no one loves you

because i do. you. big stupid shem asshole i do i love you alright and i know it doesn't come with the. whatever. but. i love you

ru tries to wrap their head around the whole sexy relationships thing but honestly they're just like. i'm too ace for this

will

fair

mir

"anyway i don't care if you can't say it or whatever. i know you love me too. so just. stop letting people hurt you

you deserve better. you do. you can't see it but you do. you've got me and surely my impeccable taste is proof that you're worth it?"

he just laughs and leans his head down on ru's shoulder. they just kind of. sit there together for a while. and then he just says thank you

anyway my. point was. originally. bull isnt a bad person? exactly? i mean. he's not a person. so.  but he does abuse dorian. and dorian does let it happen but he's still a victim

it's a lot more complicated than anyone's making it. and. anyway. apparently end canon with neither romanced puts them together

so in my other timelines i've got the idea that yeah. he goes with the chargers. and bull. but like. krem's the one who notices

and krem gets really angry with bull bc like. he trusted him and he's like? treating dorian like a toy instead of a person?

can't he hear the edge underneath the jokes dorian tells can't he see that he's drinking more and more every day can't he see it

and if he can then what the fuck is wrong with him and what happened to the bull who saved krem's life without knowing his name

like. dorian's not perfect. but he's a good guy. surely bull can see that. surely he cares. he abandoned the ben hassrath for the chargers

and for the inquisition. surely that means he values people more than... whatever it was he was before. he can't just be a weapon anymore

dorian drinks a lot. he gets sloppy and krem and dalish are always the ones there to listen to him and to prop him up and help him out

the chargers have started caring for dorian as one of their own and it really stands out to them that bull seems to have. not.

bull always makes everyone feel comfortable with who they are but he seems to do the opposite to dorian and at first like

krem assumes that's alright and that's what they're in for and alright whatever not his place to say but. dorian talks to krem sometimes

and he starts just. reminding krem of the way he felt. before. like he's in a shit situation he got himself into but can't change

doesn't really deserve to change. like he wakes up every morning and just hates himself for things he thinks he can't ever make better

and krem learns more about him and his ambitions and personality and who he really is under that flash and swagger and he just starts

to care about him. as a person. as a friend. it doesn't matter. dorian's a good man and krem wants to help him realize it?

krem still doesn't really see that bull is being really like. the reason dorian's so broken down? so he just. is there for him

it all comes to a head when dorian is alone drinking with krem bc everyone else is away on a mission or asleep already and then just

dorian asks "why are you so nice to me" and krem's just like "what. because we're friends, and you're a charger now, which makes you alright

dorian laughs. "am i? a charger? fascinating. bull doesn't seem to think so." krem's just like "what do you mean? chief brought you in"

"yes he did. didn't he. brings me a lot of things. most of them aren't as kind as you and your elf friend are, however"

and krem's just like. suddenly just things are clicking together in his head and he's getting angry and he wants to just like go and find

bull and demand to know what the fuck is going on. but like. this is his friend and clearly dorian needs him to stay here and listen

he's pretty sure he should say something. but he honestly. can't think of what. so he just does the soldiery thing and like reaches out

and grips dorian's forearm all firm and friendly-like and is just like "well you're one of us to me, and i'm here for you"

dorian looks up and he's just like. he's lost weight and he's always drunk these days and he just smiles and goes "you are aren't you"

will

Oh man

mir

"you're always here, after he's gone, after the rest of them are, you don't let me be alone. is that on purpose? why?"

krem's just like "i. dunno really i hadn't thought about it like that. just seems like you aren't the kind of person who ought to be

just left by himself all the time. and if i know the look of a man out on the hunt for new ways to get himself hurt, well, who's saying?"

dorian sort of slumps and krem reaches out to stabilize him and dorian just like sinks forward into his hands and sloppily kisses him

krem lets him for a second mostly in surprise and then gently but firmly steadies him again and dorian's like "oh maker i'm so sorry

i'm an idiot you didn't want that why would you i'm a complete disaster i deserve all of this and now i've gone and messed this up too"

krem's just like "just so we're clear. i pushed you away because you're in no condition to initiate anything like that right now.

not because i'm not interested in the possibility of it being initiated at some point in the future, once you sober up."

dorian's like "what, really? but i thought. you and." "dalish? yes, well, we're not exclusive. think skinner would be left out if we were"

dorian is just. way too drunk to really wrap his head around all of this and is just like. oh. krem's like. alright listen

i'm going to get you back to your tent, tuck you in, just friendly-like, understood, and then i'm going to stand outside until dawn comes.

make sure nobody gets in without my say-so or yours' when you seem able to give it. and as for this all, if you want, we'll talk later."

dorian like tries to protest that he's fine and immediately collapses. krem's just like. rolls his eyes. come on you let's go

as soon as dorian's asleep krem gets skinner up to stand watch at dorian's tent while he goes and finds bull bc he has Things to say

which are what i said above but also basically amounting to "thought you were better than that, hope you're better now"

"and if i do choose to take him off your hands, so to speak, i hope you'll respect that, and him, and me. and make up for it."

bull's just like. does this mean i'm going to lose you to him. krem pauses to consider and is just. "it might. in time. sooner or later.

will

damn. seriously dont forget to save this

mir

i trusted you. the paragon of unlikely goodwill for all people. like family, i thought we were. you broke that. he hasn't.

it'll take a lot of fixing to mend up what you put a big damn tear in messing him up like you have" and bull. understands.

(dont worry it does save a lot of conversation i was looking for something from like four conversations w em ago and i like. i do this a lot

will

Its like heavy but in a good way

Sad but with hope? And a good ending?

Ur good at stories mir

mir

it's not always this heavy this just happens 2 be the one where it's like. here's all my thoughts about how fucked up this is

t it could be okay!!! it could be ok

i mean sometimes what i talk with em about on the big damn twitter chat headcanon train is like. lol dorian/tintalle sex

will

Theres hope in both stories for dorian and like

mir

or the. lol anders walking in on a petra/merrill/fenris threesome lol

will

For these to happen he needs to get into that relationship w bull so

mir

yeah. ideally he doesn't but. it's canon that he does hook up with bull if neither r romanced. so. :T

I mean in my main one he's romanced so he doesnt go so low it doesnt get so hard for him

it ultimately can lead to catharsis that's good but like i would prefer if he had just hooked up with krem from the beginning tbh

yeah. sighs i. to be perfectly honest i wish it were possible to qp romance him w a f!quis bc i like. i mean. ru isn't. but

will

Idk if ill b able to play thru and let that happen? I want to play w my other lavellans n my adaar but

mir

like ru loves josephine a lot but honestly they both understand that. dorian is like. equal. but different

dorian is the dirthamen to ru's falon'din

will

Yeah a qp romance would b gr8

Like in da2 its not such a stretch to say "evry1 is datin every1" and i guess u can retcon canon in favor of headcanon

mir

yeah tru also i'm just. i have those on hand ready to go at any time i'm such gay dalish trash

will

Also i like those codexes n those i think r my fave gods?

mir

i'm also just it's not even just the relationship model it's also the gods in question like hello ru has falon'din's vallaslin

and dirthamen?? keeper of secrets and lore??? what is dorian always on about "we have so much history worth saving"

will

YES

mir

hangs out in a library and digs up ancient research while simultaneously hiding a shit load about himself

will

Thir was sposed to have dirthamen's vallaslin but i forgot

mir

when the keeper protests ru bringing dorian in to the clan ru just. yells in elvhen at him. and the keeper's like. ok.

will

I kind of wanna remake him n play thru again with caranthir

mir

dorian's just like "not that i'm not terribly grateful but what on earth did you just say" and ru's like "remember what i was telling you

will

Sorry my messages dont really match up, my internet's bein weird

mir

about dirthamen and falon'din. i just told him. that's what you are to me." dorian's like "i AM?" ru's like "yes don't make me regret it"

that's fine i'm goin off lmao it's good

i'm also just. i'm soooo about dorian converting to the dalish faith. it really makes sense w how he views faitha lready and i just

esp if u take him to the temple and he sees it all first hand??/ and with the "i don't believe in the chantry but i do believe in you" line

will

It fits w him yeah

mir

all my main ships convert each other 2 dalish faith lmao

estelverse aka everyone's dalish now even the shem

lmao i like how i started this with "here's why krem/dorian" and wound up mostly taking u on this weird ru/dorian trip #typical

[pimpmyaravel]

this blog is too sad

so here is more me and em chat this is a bunch about laurelin and also a lot about Fucking Orlais I Hate Orlais but i love bringing sera to orlais. and also. Don't bring cole to orlais. also some stuff about dorian and krem and then the disaster kids in there too??? it's mostly abt laurelin and vint stuff tho

[12/29/14, 12:06:40 AM] casimir reed-stark: any time [12/29/14, 12:07:02 AM] casimir reed-stark: i mean. not any time obviously. i think i went to bed shortly after that bc i got too drunk and could no longer handle orlais [12/29/14, 12:07:14 AM] casimir reed-stark: i started drinking to get through orlais but i overestimated how much wine was the right amount [12/29/14, 12:07:21 AM] winters: that was. really good i was so thrown and shaky about it and seeing ur snaps helped me not think about it [12/29/14, 12:07:38 AM] winters: and y EAH i saw that. you didnt send any more snaps so i assumed you had gone to sleep [12/29/14, 12:08:58 AM] winters: orlais was like. so boring honestly i was not enthralled. the only cool thing was seeing what i could get away with to get court approval really. i truly gave up and sped through it in the end i was so annoyed [12/29/14, 12:09:37 AM] winters: also it would have been cool to dance w my li but that's abt it........ seeing ur companions react was nice but the actual mission was not [12/29/14, 12:09:51 AM] winters: stick me in the hinterlands any day [12/29/14, 12:10:27 AM] casimir reed-stark: i absolutely hate orlais not bc it’s boring but bc it’s just like [12/29/14, 12:10:33 AM] casimir reed-stark: i hate orlesians [12/29/14, 12:10:57 AM] casimir reed-stark: i fucked up really badly my first attempt bc i have a specific outcome i really would like to have happen bc i looked up epilogue stuff [12/29/14, 12:11:05 AM] casimir reed-stark: but it requires a lot of fuckin halla statues [12/29/14, 12:11:16 AM] casimir reed-stark: so i have to be meticulous about getting as many as i can [12/29/14, 12:11:26 AM] winters: those halla statues are the worst i got so mad and gave up. you have far more patience than i [12/29/14, 12:11:30 AM] casimir reed-stark: so anyway i reloaded bc i meessed up hardcore the first time [12/29/14, 12:11:48 AM] casimir reed-stark: and in my second attempt decided to bring the companions i knew would make the court the most uncomfortable [12/29/14, 12:11:52 AM] casimir reed-stark: so i brought sera, dorian, and bull [12/29/14, 12:12:04 AM] casimir reed-stark: AND SERA TURNS OUT TO BE THE BEST COMPANION TO BRING??? [12/29/14, 12:12:13 AM] winters: what?????? [12/29/14, 12:12:15 AM] casimir reed-stark: you can gain SO MUCH approval from sera if you take her to orlais with you it’s hilarious [12/29/14, 12:12:22 AM] casimir reed-stark: and also extra loot [12/29/14, 12:12:27 AM] winters: that's SO GOOD i'll ahve to rmr that [12/29/14, 12:12:47 AM] casimir reed-stark: she spends her entire time trashing the nobles and laughing at everything and then she also gives you tips to where there’s red jenny loot caches all over the castle [12/29/14, 12:13:08 AM] casimir reed-stark: also u know how they have a herald announce who u bring [12/29/14, 12:13:12 AM] winters: o yeah [12/29/14, 12:13:31 AM] casimir reed-stark: sera gets herself announced as “her ladyship… “my balls itch”… of course" [12/29/14, 12:13:46 AM] casimir reed-stark: and then she snickers loudly and i think cullen audibly groans [12/29/14, 12:13:55 AM] winters: w ow. im so proud :' ) [12/29/14, 12:14:04 AM] winters: my lady cadash is gonna love her [12/29/14, 12:14:17 AM] casimir reed-stark: i brought cass and varric and dorian the first time and tbh they were way too accepting of the first two [12/29/14, 12:14:23 AM] casimir reed-stark: like that’s my typical party build but [12/29/14, 12:14:29 AM] casimir reed-stark: nah [12/29/14, 12:14:30 AM] winters: yeah i varric, dorian, bull so [12/29/14, 12:14:47 AM] winters: bull @ the food is so funny [12/29/14, 12:14:50 AM] casimir reed-stark: cass got announced by her full name and she goes “ugh get on with it” [12/29/14, 12:14:54 AM] winters: oh my GOd [12/29/14, 12:14:57 AM] winters: poor thing [12/29/14, 12:15:02 AM] winters: what a mouthful [12/29/14, 12:15:18 AM] casimir reed-stark: so i mean i think ultimately from my observation literally the best companion to bring is sera and the worst is cole [12/29/14, 12:15:25 AM] casimir reed-stark: i know someone who brought cole and. never bring cole. [12/29/14, 12:15:31 AM] casimir reed-stark: he doesn’t get announced at all [12/29/14, 12:15:45 AM] winters: oh...... is it just. very sad [12/29/14, 12:15:46 AM] casimir reed-stark: and i’m pretty sure he literally disappears [12/29/14, 12:15:50 AM] winters: nO [12/29/14, 12:16:04 AM] casimir reed-stark: you can’t find him to talk to until you show up with your full party to arm up and explore [12/29/14, 12:16:25 AM] winters: i dont like this at all [12/29/14, 12:16:31 AM] casimir reed-stark: huh i just realized. i wonder if the special dialogue option with dorian is because we’re 100% friends [12/29/14, 12:16:37 AM] casimir reed-stark: or if it’s just there bc dorian [12/29/14, 12:16:57 AM] casimir reed-stark: bc you get a dialogue thing. or at least i did. to tell him thank you for coming bc you know it’s not going to be easy on him [12/29/14, 12:17:19 AM] casimir reed-stark: and he’s like “haha yeah you’d think i smelled of cabbages the way everyone’s looking at me. it’s alright though. thank you for saying something" [12/29/14, 12:17:33 AM] winters: yeah. i think... i think i remember that. but then again i have a feeling i was very close to full friendship at that point too [12/29/14, 12:17:48 AM] winters: he's so important [12/29/14, 12:17:51 AM] casimir reed-stark: i have no idea what my friendship meters are with everyone i just know that i am definitely friends with dorian and cole [12/29/14, 12:18:04 AM] casimir reed-stark: cole’s lunch date in val royeux….. the cutest thing i have ever seen....... [12/29/14, 12:22:10 AM] winters: i have not done that yet. actually both varric and cole are likely to glitch out and i haven't been able to talk to cole in ages bc he doesnt appear when i get close to him [12/29/14, 12:22:14 AM] winters: it's so frustrating [12/29/14, 12:22:18 AM] winters: i miss him [12/29/14, 12:22:40 AM] casimir reed-stark: woah weird [12/29/14, 12:23:18 AM] winters: ur tellin me. krem has found his way around a chari and understands how to use one, but cole just up and disappears [12/29/14, 12:23:22 AM] winters: thanks dragon age [12/29/14, 12:24:12 AM] winters: oh well i'll figure it out and get to him at some point [12/29/14, 12:24:23 AM] winters: if it's the last hting i do [12/29/14, 12:25:57 AM] casimir reed-stark: krem is like. fifty fifty. in mine [12/29/14, 12:26:08 AM] casimir reed-stark: he sometimes sits in the chair shoving the wine bottle into his cheek [12/29/14, 12:26:16 AM] casimir reed-stark: and sometimes stands on the chair [12/29/14, 12:26:24 AM] casimir reed-stark: he stopped descending from the rafters every time i walk in though [12/29/14, 12:26:32 AM] winters: he often talks while he has the bottle at his mouth too [12/29/14, 12:26:36 AM] winters: SHIT [12/29/14, 12:26:48 AM] winters: krem u light up my life with ur silly antics [12/29/14, 12:26:59 AM] winters: u light up my life anyway but stil [12/29/14, 12:27:13 AM] casimir reed-stark: ok totally unrelated but i’m really fuckin tired of people simplifying dorian’s views on slavery to “dorian supports slavery" [12/29/14, 12:27:19 AM] casimir reed-stark: did they??? listen????? to what he said about it??? [12/29/14, 12:27:23 AM] casimir reed-stark: it was slightly naive but at the same time like [12/29/14, 12:27:30 AM] casimir reed-stark: what krem says later totally validates it to me tbh [12/29/14, 12:28:24 AM] winters: i honestly havent come across people talking about dorian's views on it. i'm guessing i should count myself lucky [12/29/14, 12:28:50 AM] casimir reed-stark: literally when you talk to dorian (as an elf) about slavery in tevinter what he has to say is like [12/29/14, 12:30:07 AM] casimir reed-stark: “it’s an ugly business and i’m not saying it’s good but at the same time people outright demonizing people who have slaves in tevinter as always being bad people really don’t understand how tevinter is. honestly it’s not a good thing but if you’re poor and especially an elf in tevinter, you may actually be better off as a slave. no elf and no lower class person in tevinter is truly free." [12/29/14, 12:30:23 AM] casimir reed-stark: and then later krem literally tells you that he grew up poor as shit and lower class in tevinter [12/29/14, 12:30:30 AM] casimir reed-stark: and his dad SOLD HIMSELF INTO SLAVERY TO AVOID STARVING TO DEATH [12/29/14, 12:31:15 AM] winters: y eah. yeah [12/29/14, 12:31:42 AM] winters: it's a lot more complicated than just blanketing dorian's perspective w "supports slavery" [12/29/14, 12:32:08 AM] casimir reed-stark: yeah it doesn’t mean he doesn’t occassionally make unfortunate comments but he’s really self aware about it [12/29/14, 12:32:41 AM] casimir reed-stark: he outright says “i’m a fuckin rich tevinter mage kid my dad is a magister of course i don’t understand what it’s like to be poor or not tevinter” [12/29/14, 12:33:07 AM] winters: he knows his background and why he thinks these things. yeah [12/29/14, 12:36:15 AM] winters: dorian only wants to be better really, that's what he's striving for [12/29/14, 12:36:38 AM] casimir reed-stark: i just [12/29/14, 12:36:51 AM] casimir reed-stark: i love how worked up he gets sometimes when you’re talkign to him and he’s just like [12/29/14, 12:37:36 AM] casimir reed-stark: i’m FUCKING TRYING i’m trying to make everything better i’m here bc i want to make myself better and i want to make my country better and i want to make the world better and i want to prove to the people back home that i’m better but also that they can be better and also that we can all fucking work together and like [12/29/14, 12:37:45 AM] casimir reed-stark: i love my piece of shit country and it has so many problems and it doesn’t love me but i don’t care [12/29/14, 12:38:10 AM] casimir reed-stark: because i still love it and it still raised me and it can reject me all it wants and i’ll leave so i don’t get hurt anymore but i won’t back down [12/29/14, 12:38:21 AM] casimir reed-stark: wait what were we talkinga bout. right. tevinter. tevinter is what i was talkinga bout [12/29/14, 12:38:54 AM] casimir reed-stark: i was not talking about anything but tevinter and i’m sorry i yelled you don’t deserve that. you’ve only ever supported me and i don’t know how to deal with that bc no one ever has before [12/29/14, 12:39:01 AM] casimir reed-stark: “my best and only friend” shut UP [12/29/14, 12:39:38 AM] winters: goODBYE [12/29/14, 12:40:33 AM] winters: going into this i expected to fall in love with dorian but. not quite in all the ways i have. he's surprised me in the best ways and i love this asshole so much it hurts [12/29/14, 12:41:36 AM] casimir reed-stark: yeah [12/29/14, 12:42:00 AM] casimir reed-stark: yeah no i seriously wasn’t sure going in to things who was going to be like?? like in dao and da2 they’re all your friends and the difference in inquisition is that you [12/29/14, 12:42:13 AM] casimir reed-stark: you don’t have a ragtag band of misfits [12/29/14, 12:42:22 AM] casimir reed-stark: you don’t have a little group of friends u go gallavanting around with [12/29/14, 12:42:23 AM] casimir reed-stark: you have allies [12/29/14, 12:42:40 AM] casimir reed-stark: so i was really excited to find out who was going to wind up actually being my friends [12/29/14, 12:42:52 AM] casimir reed-stark: and i think it will vary a little for my other inquisitors [12/29/14, 12:42:58 AM] winters: yeah. like, i didnt really plan a best friend at all, but dorian slipped into the role so perfectly despite the character ianlen ended up being. [12/29/14, 12:43:01 AM] winters: yeah [12/29/14, 12:43:14 AM] casimir reed-stark: but i really. wasn’t expecting ru and dorian to wind up loving each other so much [12/29/14, 12:43:17 AM] casimir reed-stark: they’re such an odd couple lmao [12/29/14, 12:43:42 AM] casimir reed-stark: sometimes i just think about tinuverse and tintalle bringing dorian home with him and that’s when ru meets dorian and they just [12/29/14, 12:43:50 AM] casimir reed-stark: like they didn’t go through the same stuff but [12/29/14, 12:44:08 AM] casimir reed-stark: tintalle never shuts up about ru and dorian’s even seen letters from them and stuff [12/29/14, 12:44:32 AM] casimir reed-stark: and possibly met them once or twice bc while i don’t think tintalle comes to skyhold ever during the whole crisis bc he’s got to stay and support the keeper [12/29/14, 12:44:46 AM] casimir reed-stark: i think ru definitely does bc i mean [12/29/14, 12:45:20 AM] casimir reed-stark: ru is a hunter they have more place in the clan than. say. laurelin. but they’re still a disaster and the keeper is like “you already left once without permission so i seriously don’t think we can stop you from doing it again" [12/29/14, 12:46:03 AM] winters: "it's an ADVENTURE" [12/29/14, 12:46:22 AM] casimir reed-stark: i’m still laughing bc i had a hard time trying to decide exactly how and why ru has so many scars [12/29/14, 12:46:40 AM] casimir reed-stark: and why tintalle only has like. two. but why he has Any At All is still like. why would u have face scars u are a fragile nerd [12/29/14, 12:46:49 AM] winters: omg [12/29/14, 12:47:04 AM] casimir reed-stark: each of ru’s scars have a story to them that ends with “and THATS why the keeper wont let me do ___ anymore!” [12/29/14, 12:47:24 AM] casimir reed-stark: ru is forbidden from doing any kind of crafting [12/29/14, 12:47:53 AM] casimir reed-stark: tintalle has two scars. he got them at the same time. because ru snapped him in the face with a tree branch and it knocked him out [12/29/14, 12:47:53 AM] winters: i SAW U TALKING ABOUT THAT i cant beleive this child [12/29/14, 12:48:10 AM] winters: ah yes, siblings [12/29/14, 12:48:23 AM] casimir reed-stark: i mean…. they were like…. ru was probably about nine [12/29/14, 12:48:51 AM] winters: was it an accident or were they playing. this honestly sounds like something my brothers would get up to wow [12/29/14, 12:48:53 AM] casimir reed-stark: laurelin’s scars are similar to ru’s but significantly less triumphant [12/29/14, 12:49:01 AM] winters: nice [12/29/14, 12:49:04 AM] casimir reed-stark: they were playing but it was also an accident [12/29/14, 12:49:11 AM] casimir reed-stark: like [12/29/14, 12:49:19 AM] casimir reed-stark: ru did it on purpose but it wasnt meant to do any damage [12/29/14, 12:49:51 AM] casimir reed-stark: tintalle was just like “ru don’t mess with that get down from that tree youre going to hurt yourself” and ru was like “let go? ok” and tintalle was like “nO DONT LET G” and then he was concussed [12/29/14, 12:50:41 AM] winters: creators preserve me [12/29/14, 12:52:02 AM] winters: honestly in the elvhen clique where they all know each other ianlen is definitely that longsuffering silent cousin figure that just. patiently waits for someone to hurt themselves and then patches them up [12/29/14, 12:52:35 AM] casimir reed-stark: i can’t make as many jokes about laurelin bc every time i think about laurelin too much i get kind of :/ because honestly his life until the inquisition was like not bad but not great [12/29/14, 12:52:55 AM] casimir reed-stark: it’s rough living in a society where everyone has a role to play and you just. don't [12/29/14, 12:53:32 AM] winters: awh man [12/29/14, 12:54:35 AM] casimir reed-stark: he’s a mage but he’s not in line to be keeper, he can’t be a crafter (his “sight” only gets him so far), he’s rubbish with halla, he can’t hunt because they can’t risk mages on the hunt and also because he just can’t. see fast enough. to be much help. [12/29/14, 12:54:49 AM] casimir reed-stark: he’s good with kids and he’s good with stories [12/29/14, 12:55:03 AM] casimir reed-stark: so he mostly just. spends his time helping his dad out [12/29/14, 12:55:08 AM] casimir reed-stark: and babysitting [12/29/14, 12:55:23 AM] casimir reed-stark: but there’s still plenty of the clan that’s sort of unnerved by him and definitely pitying of him bc like [12/29/14, 12:56:23 AM] casimir reed-stark: he’s not old but. he’s not young anymore either. by his age most of the people would have had a role in the clan and. probably have picked a partner and settled down too [12/29/14, 12:56:35 AM] casimir reed-stark: he’s like. 33 or 34 [12/29/14, 12:57:04 AM] casimir reed-stark: and bc of the whole. like he can “see” but people don’t know quite how to be around him still sometimes [12/29/14, 12:57:08 AM] casimir reed-stark: and he’s kind of. weirdly quiet. [12/29/14, 12:57:30 AM] casimir reed-stark: except when he’s telling stories and then he just gets lost in them and seems almost like a different person [12/29/14, 12:57:35 AM] winters: oh [12/29/14, 12:57:47 AM] casimir reed-stark: but like a hahren doesn’t have a first the way the keeper does so it’s not like he’s in line for anything there [12/29/14, 12:58:03 AM] casimir reed-stark: there isn’t a role to fill by just. helping out his dad [12/29/14, 12:58:19 AM] casimir reed-stark: the keeper sends him to the conclave literally because like [12/29/14, 12:58:27 AM] casimir reed-stark: she just hopes it will help him find a place in the world [12/29/14, 12:58:39 AM] casimir reed-stark: like that some part of the journey will give him meaning? [12/29/14, 12:58:49 AM] casimir reed-stark: and it. does. the inquisition is the best thing that ever happens to him [12/29/14, 12:59:27 AM] casimir reed-stark: it’s so baffling when they ask him to be inquisitor bc here he is this blind mage kid in his mid thirties with no direction in life whatsoever [12/29/14, 12:59:45 AM] casimir reed-stark: and there are these incredible strong people and they want him to lead them??? [12/29/14, 1:00:03 AM] casimir reed-stark: and he’s like “i am not even remotely cut out to do this but i’ll try" [12/29/14, 1:00:16 AM] winters: what a darling. i'm so glad [12/29/14, 1:03:25 AM] casimir reed-stark: did u see the cap i edited of him [12/29/14, 1:04:32 AM] winters: yeah i did it was amazing he looks so good [12/29/14, 1:04:54 AM] winters: what a CUTIE [12/29/14, 1:05:18 AM] casimir reed-stark: i love my kids [12/29/14, 1:06:58 AM] winters: i love your kids too

[pimpmyaravel]

fuck you em, you fucking suck, how dare you make me think about this, i'm getting a fucking divorce

in which a joke about our fucking twitter icons turned into me talking about what would happen if zevran and ruive met and then i FUCKING DIED!! IM DEAD!!! 

em: also. in this dm it looks like ruive is fucking looking up at zev and it's terrible

mir: i just had a heart attack thinking about that oh mf cukin. heck. theyw ould look up to him tho... i just broke my own heart so hard

em: No.. no shut UP

mir: i'm in critical condition i can't believe i hadn't thought abt what would happen if they met him and esp if they found out.... his... hlep

they meet him in the typical like "fight first ask questions later" way and they just know that leliana trusts him so they're like "k cool"

em: dont do this???? talking to zev abt warden hahahahha im cry

[whispers] n o

mir: and then when they've won he just gets up smiling and covered in blood but looking very alive and winks at leliana

and he's just like "not as young and beautiful as we used to be, eh? or at least, not as young, we are still both very beautiful"

em: flirts to the bitter end

mir: "ah but where are my manners! your young companion here is this 'herald of andraste', yes? honoured to meet you, im sure. my name is zevran arainai"

and like they get acquainted and ruive is charmed from the get go and he makes leliana smile and brings out this whole new side of her and

and they like. wait a bit before they do but finally as they're back in camp, ruive interrupts and is just. "i'm sorry but, where did the two of you meet, exactly? you've known each other a long time?" 

zevran smiles and he's just. had the strangest look

ruive can't shake the impression that he's trying to look like. through them. like it's just his eyes but he can't stop staring, and, well

at first they were just kind of like. they're used to staring at this point. but usually people stare at them, then their hand, then stop

but like they get the impression that he's really not looking at them at all and that he also doesn't realize he's doing it

em:

f uck

mir: either way, he finally stops, for a moment, when they ask him where he'd met leliana. he's been laughing for hours, but... somehow...

somehow it's the first moment he's looked truly happy? ruive can't make sense of him at all, but they want to try,

"let's see... it was... almost twelve years ago? has it really been so long..." he trails off, only for a moment, but long enough that

ruive notices leliana move to interject, but he keeps going before she can, though they have time to trade quick reassuring smiles

"we met in the company of the hero of ferelden. i'm sure you'll have heard of them, and likely from better storytellers than myself"

em: my heart is in my throat

mir: ruive's eyes go wide bc you know, this is their hero, their legend, the one they played at being when they were a kid and emulate now,

and they just "YOU knew warden mahariel? you were one of their companions? with leliana and king alistair & morrigan?" their face lights up

and it's been twelve years but something about them, about ruive, their earnestness maybe, their hope, tenacity, their wry wit, who knows,

maybe just their tanned skin and their red hair and their bright eyes, green and full of wonder and youth, or maybe the way they fight,

their hands on their bow like the grip is part of their body, the way all dalish hunters are, the way that estel was, creators, why now,

em: whines

mir: zevran can't stop his voice from cracking as he looks down into the fire and just says "yes. i knew estel. for as long as i could."

and ruive, for all their reckless nature, knows better than to ask anymore, just to wait, to let him say or not say. it's not their place.

but after a moment he looks up and smiles again. "it's alright to ask, da'len," he tells them, and they're startled at his use of the word

but he says it in a rough, strange way, like it tastes strange in his mouth, and they know he doesn't use elvhen words very often

and something about him makes them want to be brave. "were you... i'm sorry, i don't know how to ask. did you... did you love them?"

em: oh

mir: "more than the moon loves the stars or the sunset loves the horizon," he tells them. "do not be sorry to have asked. it is good to say."

after that they mostly sit in silence and let him talk. leliana seems warmer and younger, listening to him, sometimes adding her own parts

em: "it is good to say" my darling heart. and just. them having the chance to reflect in a way that brings them back to life almost.

happily instead of steeped in sorrow

mir: and so they hear all the parts of the story that will never make it into all the legends and the ballads

em: they're at peace now. and being able to share their memories with someone who Knew

mir: it's hours and a few skins of wine before zevran admits that his strange look is because ruive looks just like estel in so many ways

and they understand, almost at once, the odd looks sometimes cast by leliana, or the way king alistair faltered for a moment at redcliffe

it's the same sort of understanding they had when they first met hawke, of all the easy fondness varric had for them, despite his distance

but of course, this is even more

after a time zevran asks them "so, my young hero, i know it is unlikely to have been so lucky in love as my estel was, but what of you?"

they tell him, after a momentary exchange of permissive glances with leliana of course, about josephine

em: oh my god. antivans out the ears

mir: zevran insists on meeting her, of course, and leliana is just like. oh maker i've been trying to keep them from each other for years

em: im l aughing

mir: zevran just. tells them. to remember that life is unknown. only love and death are certain. make sure to know them both with intimacy.

and never to let your heart grow cold and bitter, nor your hope to die. there's an odd glimmer in his eyes on that one,

and ruive doesn't understand that he had a double meaning, that the glimmer was bc it was a ill humoured joke - estel, of course, means hope

when they finish the mission that brought them together, zevran swears a sort of fealty to them, to be there if they ever have need

to let him guide them in any way he can, or to support them if they need that instead, and they accept gladly, but don't understand why

it's not because they were particularly impressive or because they remind him of estel only, surely? zevran doesn't seem the type

so they ask leliana why she thinks he placed his loyalty in them so quickly, and she sort of. hesitates and then says. she has an idea. but.

"is it just because i remind him of... of warden mahariel? surely that's not enough alone?" and leliana sighs and says "you know, i'm not sure it is entirely my place to tell, nor to know what zevran is thinking, thank the maker for that, i'll be honest, but… i suspect he sees both pieces of estel and himself in you, and a sort of... missed opportunity. a second chance, if you follow my thinking"

and ruive's just like "you know i'm really not sure i do" and leliana sighs and just says "i've said enough, why don't you ask him yourself?

so. next time they see him. they do and he's like "well what did dear leliana tell you" and so he tells him. and he laughs

and he's like "she never misses anything, does she? well, some things, you would be surprised, but... this time, she is right. you know i had quite hoped to avoid this conversation? i had hoped you would be so used to declarations of followers by now you would not ask. and yet, here we are. 

no, don't apologize, i did say you could ask whatever you wished, were it in my power to grant an answer. and my embarrassment is common enough, so it would be foolish to call it a reason to keep an answer from you. no, leliana is right. a "missed opportunity", as she so tactfully phrased things, is precisely what i see. you are... a little older than we may have had, but…”

he trails off and ruive takes just a minute on the up take before their eyes sort of widen incredulously and they're like. omg

and as if to prove that his call is totally bang on here, they both spend the next several minutes completely unable to talk to each other

bc they both definitely can only be in either "way too intense, even light stuff" mode or "everything is a joke, even horrible things" mode

em: oh. my god i didnt even. i didnt think abotu that either and now......... shit

mir: so they go back to just. chatting and easy stories and stuff and ruive just like. has no idea how to actually react to this but like

to be fair neither does zevran. ruive had thought since they'd met that he saw estel when he looked at them and that was why he looked odd

but it's not estel he's seeing. it's what they might have had together if estel had lived. he's seeing the kids he didn't get to raise.

ruive notes to be cautious around introducing him to their brother, should it ever happen. their blond brother. with the dark vallaslin.

em: oh. shit

wtf babe im about to cry

mir: i mean if zev met tintalle first he probably wouldn't have seen so much resemblance, but meeting him after knowing ruive, he would for sure

and like. ruive is very much a black sheep in their family, so while zevran would be fond of tintalle, he wouldn't have seen the same thing

em: yeah, ic an see that

mir: au where estel doesn't die and ruive is literally zev and estel's kid

im going to pass out

em: BYE

[pimpmyaravel]

ah yes. ru/josie feels

that's... pretty much it... (reposted)

 got Gay abt josephine/ruivë lmao

thinks abt how when u first talk to josephine she greets you in elvhen but then is like “yeah but that’s about all i know maybe you could teach me more i would like to know more about dalish culture but uh that’s not what we’re here to talk about really” 

ruivë teaching her more words…. and culture stuff….. after they start being A Thing…. josephine going out of her way to find like… old books and little bits of scattered information bc they know how much ruivë cares about their culture and how much dalish pride they have…… gets them like…. a pendant commissioned from an orlesian jeweler that looks like halla antlers bc she finds out that ruivë’s tattoos are a gesture to ghilan’nain…….

one day they’re just laying around josephine’s room or something, josephine’s reading a book and ruivë is reading through some letters or fiddling with some crafting materials or something and they look up and are like hey there’s. a word i want to teach you.

and josephine’s eyes get all lit up like they do at getting to learn new things and at them sharing their culture and opening up and whatever…. and they sit down on the bed with josephine and are just like “ok repeat after me” and then they teach her… how to say…. ma vhenan….. and josephine says it a bunch and is like “alright so what’s vhenan mean then, ma is a possessive article, and the word is part of the word for your society before the imperium, right? elvhenan? so what does it” and then she stops and ruivë’s laughing at her and they’re just like. reaches out and takes josephine’s hand and puts it on their chest and is like “right there. ma vhenan.” and josephine takes like two seconds to recover before teasing about how that was possibly the first time ruivë had managed to be actually romantic and were they taking lessons from someone

just…. thinkin about josephine getting Really Into dalish culture more and more and just really opening up to it and just finding it all really beautiful and fascinating and revelling in exploring it with this strange small elf who has unexpectedly become so important to her…….. 

i must stop……….how did this happen 2 me……..

[pimpmyaravel]

"how did this start with 'haha dorian as a dad amirite' and turn into 'ok but let's get fucked up and doomed timeline'"

lmao a+ me. this is all about The Kids and stuff but it starts out cute and then slumps directly down into "haha here the worst possible thing that could happen in my genuinely happy alpha state postgame with petra and their fam"

this does touch on who has kids in general tho??

i haven't even started his save yet and my mind is already wandering off into "ok but what if... tintallë and dorian... had kids......."

i started thinking about da kids and now i can't stop i have already jumped past my alpha world state and straight into This

and like. obviously i think. at some point ruivë and josephine would probably have kids but they're too young to do so for Quite Some Time

leliana and tinuviel never have kids (too busy), heron and anders... adopt at some point probably, mostly definitely tho they own Many Cats cass and canary... i don't know

(update: cass and canary didn't work out, canary might adopt with bull at some point, cass and laurelin have like two or three kids eventually)

estel and zevran OBVIOUSLY don't have kids. but they would have. i'm sorry i didn't need to throw that in that was really uncalled for

naia and isabela decide they're never having kids and then they wind up rescuing a toddler from spiders & are like "welp guess we're moms"

casper and alistair obviously do not have kids either...... i haven't named the warden who hooks up with morrigan yet but they have a kid  sela and morrigan may or may not have a kid. i rly want morrigan to be a mom bc it's. yeah. but i literally won't be able to upload sela or casper to the keep properly so i don't know if it'll even let me and yeah who knows. loud shrug. maybe they have an ogb and then raise it together????

it's hard to think about ruivë being mellowed out and old enough for children bc they are a children but i know they eventually have some like at the end of inquisition for ruivë and josephine, they're p much just ready to go on an extravagent honeymoon adventure and then keep inquisit...ing... but at the end of inquisition for tintallë and dorian they are both like "well that's enough excitement for a century, let's get Domestic" lmao

ruivë just like "i can't chill now, i'm just getting started, cmon babe, also we have to find solas so i can kick his ass or whatever"

meanwhile their brother is just like "the only adventure i want to deal with for a while is convincing my in-laws to like you"

ruivë and josephine's life becomes a continuing romantic fantasy action-adventure, tintallë and dorian settled down to married sitcom life

also... i was thinking abt timelines and i think i've decided that petra is like 2 months pregnant with melia when they come to skyhold

idk if they know yet? definitely merrill and varric don't bc neither of them would've let them do any of that if they did. but yeah

haha wow tho it makes bad timeline au like. ultimate bad. holy shit. bc they tell varric somewhere in the middle and varric is like "please say you're joking"

they're like "aw and here i thought you'd be excited to be a father!" varric's like "yeah and i would like to stay that way, i would never have asked you or let you come if i had known!"

"i know that's why i didn't tell either of you. i'll be fine"

"YOU BETTER"

and in good timeline aka real timeline everything is ok and they're fine and varric's like. really torn up bc he just wants to go Home now, be with his family, for heck's sake hawke is gonna need him, merrill is gonna need him, and the kid is gonna need him. his kid!!! he's having a kid!!! what the hell

so damn straight he has to finish this inquisition thing but he spends the rest of the game being like "can we save the world faster i have a baby on the way"

i mean. of course he doesn't say that. to anyone. bc he just doesn't need or want to explain his family dynamics or their gender dynamics to everyone lmao

[warn: sad starts here]

but..... bad end au. bad end au obviously being. the. petra tells varric. he tries to stop them, but they go, and they. don't come back. so

varric's. letter to merrill. has to also force him to decide. whether or not to tell merrill. or to keep that knowledge. alone. forever.

BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE FOREVER IM SO GLAD THIS ISNT MY CANON LMAO

none of my hawkes die, but that doesn't mean i'm entirely get out of misery on that quest... bc alistair stayed warden w casper... so.... ow....

how did this start with "haha dorian as a dad amirite hoorah children" and turn into "ok but let's get fucked up and doomed timeline"

[pimpmyaravel]

lavellan siblings power force go!!

repost from blog talkin abt first big thing abt tint and ru being siblings and the timeline differences that lead them to each being at the conclave??

my lavellan inquisitors are actually siblings it’s just like. different timelines where one wound up at the conclave rather than the other… i really hope that there’s not like a later thing i haven’t heard about where you get a lot more details about the inquisitor’s family and past bc i have so much headcanon i don’t know what i’ll do with myself if there’s actual canon that totally messes with a ll this…. my kids….

either way, tintallë was the one who was actually supposed to go, aka he is who the clan ACTUALLY sent, bc he is both older and generally a bit more levelheaded about things than ruivë is, and like. he’s the first to their keeper and all that i mean he’s a very good choice of spy/diplomat, he has like, tact and subtly where ruivë mostly has inexplicable charm and dumb luck

in the case of ruivë being inquisitor, it is bc either way they convince him to let them tag along bc they haven’t gotten much chance to like interact with humans and see the world and stuff bc they are literally like. ruivë got their vallaslin earlier that year they are literally only just barely not a kid in the eyes of their people. they are like. seventeen years old they are completely not cut out to be in charge of anything 

but anyway, ruivë convinces their brother to let them tag along and he’s like “sure fine just don’t cause any trouble” and then of course. they do. or rather, in the timeline where tintallë becomes inquisitor the way it should have happened, he successfully convinces ruivë to stay at camp while he goes to the conclave so they won’t get themself into any sort of weird trouble

either way they both survive the conclave tho but think the other didn’t at first and don’t get a chance to find out bc suddenly one of them is inquisitor and can’t do anything about the rest of it until later

if ruivë becomes the inquisitor, then they are at the conclave bc they Really wanted to go and tintallë wouldn’t hear about it and they’re like “fuck this i’m tired of everyone treating me like a kid” and they slip a sleeping draught into their brother’s soup the night before so that he’ll just sleep through the whole thing

so in that timeline, tintallë wakes up, figures out what ruivë did, finds out what happened, and heads back to clan lavellan heartbroken and feeling very off and guilty and unsure of how to tell his clan and their parents that not only did he let his little sibling come with him, completely disobeying the clan’s decision in the matter, but he then did not attend the conclave and wound up letting them die on his watch

he spends time sort of wandering in the hinterlands on the long trek home and meditating on things and reaching out to spirits he senses and trying to figure stuff out and then he winds up in a tavern somewhere and finally catches wind of the inquisition and its unlikely leader, a tiny redheaded dalish archer who is managing relatively well despite being absolutely none of the things anyone wants them to be or expects them to be and tintallë is like “are you kidding me” like he’s hugely relieved that they’re alive obviously but he’s also like i can’t believe this i can’t believe i’ve spent a month wandering in the hinterlands not talking to anyone so i could try and find answers in the woods and in myself and in the beyond for why things transpired to keep me alive but let them die like this and not only are they not dead but they are also going around causing trouble, saving the world, and yelling “the maker isn’t real” at everyone who tries to call them the herald of andraste like of fucking course this would happen

ruivë spends the whole first part being like this is my fault this is terrifying what am i doing i’m not cut out for this tintallë would be so much better at this than i am he should have been there not me what the fuck am i doing holy shit what is that where is my brother i absolutely cannot believe he died but what if he died how will i know when will i know if he’s okay where is he can he come pick me up and take me home now this wasn’t the plan at all i have NO IDEA HOW TO DRIVE THIS THING IM GOING TO CRASH 

finally, several months later, they get word back that one of their agents spoke to clan lavellan’s first directly on a mission and ruivë freezes and is like WHERE IS THE AGENT ARE THEY HERE ARE THEY IN HAVEN WHERE ARE THEY SEND THEM TO THE WAR COUNCIL RIGHT NOW I NEED TO SPEAK WITH THEM RIGHT NOW and they’re all just like ??? and josephine’s like “OH. YES. LELIANA PLEASE GO GET YOUR AGENT IN HERE” and leliana’s like “ok sure” and cullen makes some sort of disgruntled noise while cass looks around for an explanation that is not there

the agent is brought in a minute later and ruivë is like YOU SPOKE TO THE FIRST OF CLAN LAVELLAN. THE FIRST TO THE KEEPER OF MY CLAN. TELL ME WHAT YOU TALKED ABOUT HOW. THEY LOOKED. DID YOU FIND OUT THEIR NAME

the agent is just like “uh. yes. um. your. uh. your heraldness. um. he looked fine? dalish? white hair, but kinda curly like yours is, bit taller than you but not much, is this really what you want to know about the mission” and ruivë like almost starts crying and then they’re just like “that shit lord i can’t believe he didn’t think to send me so much as a dream letting me know he was okay” and cass is like “is anybody going to fill me in on what’s going on here” and josephine smiles and is like “the first of clan lavellan’s keeper is our dear inquisitor’s older brother. they were both supposed to be in attendance at the conclave, but… circumstances kept tintallë at their camp. this is the first news we have had that made it clear he has made it home safely”

in the other version of events, things are more or less the same except ruivë finds out that tintallë is inquisitor a lot faster bc they do not do the “wander alone in the hinterlands seeking guidance” thing bc they are not a thoughtful magely type by any means and when they find out they turn around and head for haven to surprise him in his sleep (aka almost give him a bloody heart attack) by finding where they are and sneaking into his quarters and just showing up, subsequently teasing him about how he just can’t help but take on more responsibilities and making some like “what are you now, keeper of the inquisition? keeper of thedas?” and he’s like “i’m not keeper of anything yet i’m still the first there’s just some complications going on and why are you here i was asleep i. i’m so glad you’re here this is so much to deal with and i was terrified i thought you were dead i kept searching for you in the fade but there’s so much going on out there now since the breach and with this. weird stuff. going on with me. that i just couldn’t follow any of the old paths to get to you the way i used to i’m so sorry please tell dad and the keeper and everyone i’m ok ok you have to go back to the clan and tell them i’m ok and i’m sorry and that you’re alive and i promise i’ll come home when i can i love you ok but like fen’harel’s great furry ass don’t sneak up on me when i’m in bed like that how many times do i have to tell you not to do that” and ruivë’s like “at least one more time B)”

tintallë just rolls his eyes and wishes he could ask them to stay bc he’s kind of lonely and lost feeling really but a keeper is trained to be strong and do what they must to protect their people and this is a weird way to have to do that but it’s what the gods meant for him to do clearly bc like andraste my ass he knows that isn’t who gave him this power but dang is he looking to try and figure out who DID bc the gods aren’t supposed to be able to reach thedas really either??? he has so many questions that he can’t get answers to especially bc solas drives him nuts a lot of the time bc it’s like. yeah hi i’m the first to a dalish clan you can stop shit talking the dalish any time now you’re not better than us ya flat eared shit i don’t care if you’re a fadewalker dude you’re not actually all that special or different you only had to help me bc i was disoriented in an explosion ok i probably have some idea of what’s going on like a little bit or i could but not really any less than you do dude come on

their mum is a hunter and their da tends the clan’s halla but is also kind of a hedge mage? like he’s a mage but like. really lowkey and he’s not super trained bc their clan had a few magically gifted kids his age and he was never the most promising candidate for keeper esp bc he just doesn’t have all that much active magical power (and he just really doesn’t have the organizational mind or leadership skills for it, though he does have a reasonable amount of charisma, a very good memory for lore, and a lot of passion for it all, which like. he would’ve been a much better hahren, if anything, and he actually does do a lot of storytelling and is really good friends with the clan’s hahren and like is kind of considered hahren “second” almost bc he’s like not officially being trained and never was or will be bc him and the current hahren are around the same age, he’s like, maybe seven or eight years younger, but he’s the second best storyteller by general agreement, more or less)

i came up with him being a mage before i knew abt the three mages rule for dalish clans so i just. i figure he’s lowkey and important to the village and no one finds him at all a threat and clan lavellan is bigger and more open and has more mages naturally occurring in their bloodlines or smth so like they have five mages but tintallë and ruivë’s da and one of the others are just like really benign mages who’ve been around forever and like the other one was the keeper’s second for a while but she backed down when she had a kid was a mage so she could keep her kid?? so like her and their da are allowed to stick around bc they’ve been there their entire lives and nothing has ever run amiss of either of them so. the clan trusts them and feels safer, even, with them, bc they have a lot of knowledge between the two of them

also the keeper is their great aunt on their mother’s side so with magic on both sides it was kind of like inevitable that one of them would inherit it and everyone was actually quite worried what would have to happen if the second child was born a mage too bc that would mean six mages and one unproven and they would have been forced to give them up to another clan and no one wanted that so it was lucky that ruivë came out a magicless disaster

as i said i. really hope. the game doesn’t later have like. some kind of quest to give u a lot of extra info on your inquisitor’s family and backstory or smth bc i don’t want it i have my canon already u can’t take this all from me

[pimpmyaravel]

in which ruivë lavellan is Actually Kind Of Terrifying and estel mahariel shaped the course of the fate of the whole world forever

also stuff about tintallë and zev and petra and alistair/anora even and it's really everywhere but yea. alpha world state shit. everyone is pro elf. #elvhensupremacy tbh