#*snorts.*

[elegancesama]

"Double entendre doesn't show up to every gig she's booked at; she only comes sometimes. And not everybody sees her or gets her, but I always do."

[elegancesama]

Bitch, I’d be horrible at porn. I don’t get fucked, I don’t wanna suck, what would I do, gurl?

[elegancesama]

In other news I came across this and I'm amused

[elegancesama]

Teresa: Uch. Why are men such saps?

Prisoner: Well, I can't speak for every man, though I have given this a lot of thought, as society's afforded me the opportunity on several occasions, and this is what I decided.

There's so many beautiful women in this world that when a man commits to one, it is necessary for him to believe that he found his destiny.

Otherwise, he would be powerless in the face of so many, many vaginas.

[elegancesama]

Okay, but New York said she wants to find a man or three in the house and “he doesn’t have to look good, he doesn’t have to have a whole bunch of money, he just has to stay hard until I finish.” 

I’m laughing so hard. 

[elegancesama]

 “Oh, I try to keep my phone away from my dick. He always wants to call my ex.”

[elegancesama]

The fact that cheese comes from cows has seemingly altered this man’s life forever.