it's easier when you find someone worth loving
i still care very deeply about nnnn but he has treated me carelessly. i see now how my feelings were given too freely, to someone who did not appreciate them for how much they could've been worth.
with sss it's easier, he's kind and he gets agree over things that are understandable, things that I can easily fix. while it may take a while to feel as comfortable with him as I did with nnnn, i believe that good may come of this. ive known sss longer, and while we've never met in person, he does act as though he appreciates me - something I can feel from just words, which I've rarely felt in regards to nnnn.
i care deeply about him as well, although it's hard to say whether or not it's worth continuing down this path, sss will never treat me like nnnn did, like im dispensable or a backup for when he gets bored.
it might be difficult to see what is the best option to follow through with right now, but time helps with understanding difficult problems. i believe that due to personal flaws it may be too easy to let nnnn back into my life, however regardless of whether he does or doesn't come back to me, I will become a better person than the version of me he knew.