I'm so anxious I can't handle it. I skipped band practice today because it was a marching practice and since I play the cello I assumed I wassnt supposed to go. But now I don't want to go to band on Wednesday because he already dislikes me because cellos aren't suppose to be in a band and I really hate confrontation but I don't want him to dislike me more for skipping and I just hate this I hate extracurriculars all they do is make me anxious -hm
Hi love,
I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. Whenever you are feeling anxious, try these things, they may help!
Deep breathing. Close your eyes, and try taking deep, slow breaths, making each breath even deeper than the last. Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose slowly 1-2-3-4 and out through your mouth slowly 1-2-3-4. Close your eyes and focus on the way the air is entering and leaving your lungs. It may sound silly, but it can really help!
Progressive muscle relaxation. Starting with your toes, tense all the muscles as tightly as you can, then completely relax. Work your way up from your feet to the top of your head.
Visualizing a peaceful, restful place. Close your eyes and imagine a place or activity that is calming and peaceful for you. Concentrate on how relaxed this place or activity makes you feel.
Guided meditation, which you can find on Youtube
If you practice these things right when you start to feel anxiety riddled, it can really help!
Here are some other things that can also help:
Get a nice hot bath or cold shower
Get a soft blanket or soft stuffed animal and try to focus on the way it feels
Squeeze a stress ball
Go for a nice walk
Call a friend and talk it through
Drink a glass of water (or multiple)
Grounding techniques can help you focus on the present and therefore help you. Check out this link with a bunch of grounding techniques to try! http://mental-health-advice.org/groundingtech
Why do you feel like he dislikes you? If he does dislike you, that’s a silly reason to dislike you. I think it’s awesome that you play the cello and that you are in a band! Cellos are awesome and it takes a lot of talent to play one. I bet it adds a whole layer of depth to the band’s sound, and it makes your school’s band very unique. If anything, the band director should be proud to have a cello in the band since it makes your band stand out. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to direct a cello player, and that might make it seem like he dislikes you when he really doesn’t? Is that a possibility?
May I ask why you’re in the band and not an orchestra, though? Maybe you’d feel better if you were in an orchestra with other cello players?
If extracurricular activities are just making you anxious, remember that you don’t have to do them, love. They are 100% voluntary. And they should be doing more good than harm. As with anything in life, if you find that something mostly upsets you and causes you distress, then that might be a sign you should cut it out of your life.
On the other hand, it sucks to have to give up something you love because of anxiety. I used to love playing softball in highschool, but I stopped because of my anxiety. To this day I wish I hadn’t.
With that being said, if playing the cello is something you love and the anxiety is holding you back, you might want to look into professional treatment. I really suggest you talk to a doctor and/or therapist about this. A doctor can help prescribe you medication to manage your anxiety, and a therapist can help you work through these emotions and feelings and teach you coping mechanisms.
Hope this helps!
<3 Jen
