#.... ow

[splitinone]

[alicerhodesroxarchive-blog]

{No i don't have a sore throat what do you mea-

[horrendous coughing]}

[guardianofthelibrary]

Goodbye.

—I told you I never show what I know. I don’t know if I will when I wake up. If I wake up. I’m actually a bit tired… Heh… I don’t think this is the sort of exhaustion that will result in a nap, I’m afraid. You mentioned that I have my own secrets. I do. Many. I happen to like keeping them that way. You see, all of us have secrets. Vice, Keeper…Siren. 

Dying. I suppose that’s the easiest way to put it. I’m dying. And I’ll be brought back again but with no promise of keeping my memories. So, who is to say that the me you will see after this will carry the same morales as myself right now?

We’ve both killed. Different reasons, however. I …yes, Loki. I killed. I suppose you wanted to know why I killed. 

…Odd. I guess this is still hard to talk about, even now…

She was lovely. She had moments of seriousness and then she could be so outgoing and full of life. And… she was always with me. Even when far apart I knew she was with me. My other half. Her name was Minute… She was…the previous guardian of The Tower. 

…Previous.

We aren’t without our enemies. Demons—not the kind that humans believe in or that exist along with Heaven and Hell—they came after us all. They attacked The Tower. 

I …didn’t make it in time.

I hate this memory… It’s as if I feel her in my arms still. She died in my arms. No one heard me scream for them to come help me revive her. And I realized that day how easily we were replaced. A new guardian in her place. Those demons killed her and she was replaced in a matter of second…

They made a mistake. They came after me next. They didn’t take into consideration that I was angry. That I had lost someone I needed to keep with me because who were they to take her from me!? What power does The Tower have to replace her so easily!? I couldn’t replace her right away and no person could be her but there could be someone else to help me!

I tore them apart. All of them. And they deserved it. …god… I’m… still a monster…. Listen to me…. I’m still…

I saw what I had done and I left my chain in The Armory. …I wasn’t going to become that… no I couldn’t… Minute wouldn’t of wanted me to…

But I have … I had my weapon.. I left it with Coleridge…

I got it back to protect Ida… because…. because she matters. …Heh. The big secret. Me.. The happy go lucky oaf is really just another monster children are told to fear at night. 

I killed because they took from me the one thing I lov— ….I… Huh… I loved….

…Perhaps I’ll be rid of the guilt… I want to come back, though. Because I don’t want Ida to become me in my death. 

To be honest…? I think I lied when I said I wouldn’t fight you back if you attacked me. I think if you had… I would have just snapped and wanted to keep you from taking me away from her… 

….I can hardly hold the phone to my ear… I can hardly breathe. Ironic.. The Library was the death of me. My home… the very thing that created me…

…Goodbye, Loki. I hope you know that you were never one of the monsters that parents told stories about to scare their children. I think… I think you’re just lonely. …I can relate.