I have slept too long. What's happening in Narnia? Did I miss a wedding? More importantly, did someone die? By the Mane, someone fill me in. That Calormene woman with the monkey. Tell. Me. EVERYTHING. My bright and beautiful light bulb eyes sees... oh, what's this? Is Elizabeth with Earring-guide--Irmingild. Ooooh General better watch ou--wait. Irmingild is really with Vadoma. Or Chaniya. Or... Rabadash? Oh, I see where this is going... you brothers. Too close, I'm telling you, too close. No. Wait, wait. Irmingild is with LASARALEEN. Lady Tarkheena is stepping it up. Good for you.
What else has happened?
Dear King Edmund. A fight with Rabadash would do the world good. Especially for me.
Dear High King Peter, I need those wedding invitations now. Like, now, now.
Don't think I didn't see you, Anne and Edith. Anne, honey, you need a change of clothes. Edith, baby, you need a day job.