#000007

[bah-avenue]

BAH.File : #000007

Contents : Ink Sans fictive. Disclaimer : Stolen from our terminal.

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⠀name{s} ﹔ Roselight ; Valentine ; Amorette ; Carmina ; Cherub ; Sonnet ⠀nickname{s} ﹔ Ros(i)e ; Lovie ; Petal ; Vale ⠀age ﹔ Ageless ⠀mental maturity ﹔ 16 years old ⠀gender ﹔ amab ; bigender ; rosboy ⠀pronouns ﹔ he/him ; she/her ; luv/luvs ; heart/hearts ; any ⠀orientation / sexuality ﹔ panromantic ; greysexual ⠀species ﹔ Monster {Skeleton} ; Emotive Construct ⠀amory ﹔ monogamous-leaning

⠀role{s} ﹔ romanticist ; emotional funnel ; love holder ; hyperrose holder ⠀sign off / emojis ﹔ 🌹 ; 💗 ; 🎀 ; ✨ ; 💞 ⠀source{s} ﹔ UTMV ⠀source connection ﹔ loose

⠀acute stress response⠀﹔ fawn ; freeze ⠀front trigger{s} ﹔ romantic tension ; fear of being misunderstood ; emotional distance from trusted figures ; interpersonal conflict ⠀front sign{s} ﹔ softened voice ; prolonged eye contact ; subtle humming or lyrical speech ; increased physical gestures (hand movement, reaching) ⠀personality traits{s} ﹔ earnest ; expressive ; affectionate ; patient

⠀boundaries ﹔   - flirting — yes (reciprocal only)  - compliments — yes  - nicknames — yes  - petnames — yes, mutual  - tonetags — appreciated  - sourcetalk — open  - sourcemates — open  - advice — gentle only  - venting — yes, moderated

⠀phobia{s} ﹔  being emotionally dismissed ; becoming irrelevant ⠀coping behaviors ﹔  overexpressing affection to stabilize insecurity

⠀typing quirk ﹔ lowercase dominant. occasional “♡” at sentence end. uses elongated vowels when excited (“sooo”). soft punctuation.

⠀songs ﹔   - Line Without a Hook [By: Ricky Montgomery]  - Sweet Hibiscus Tea [By: Penelope Scott]  - I Hear a Symphony [By: Cody Fry]  - Unsweetened Lemonade [By: Amélie Farren]

⠀likes / dislikes ﹔   - likes ﹔ love letters ; painting hands ; shared playlists ; soft fabrics ; heart iconography ; gentle teasing  - dislikes ﹔ emotional coldness ; mockery of romance ; indifference ; being dismissed as naive ; harsh lighting

⠀habits / quirks ﹔ absentmindedly traces heart shapes on surfaces when thinking ; taps fingers rhythmically when nervous but masks it as “keeping tempo” ; names color palettes after people

⠀cis/transids ﹔ transRomanticized ; transDevoted ; transSoftspoken ; cisCreative ; transLovestruck

[looselypenned]

Barbed

I mix 'neath sunlight turned to rain

the perfect blend of warmth and pain

apply to the wound, but just a drop

if we add too much the blood will stop

the ache in you hurts more than mine

don't worry about it. I'll be fine

[every-color-in-order]

[letters-from-r]

I let my distractions distract me

---

Okay, there’s really only one reason why I haven’t been writing much. It’s because I sorta kinda maybe got addicted to a certain WLW pairing and I’m sorta kinda maybe spending all my free time tweeting and blogging about them. I know it’s nothing to be proud of, but collectively the fandom has achieved so much. I am proud of us, but I’m definitely not proud that I let this fangirling thing get in the way of my schooling (I know I haven’t been reading any of my assigned readings). 

But I swear I got more out of it than I lost. Firstly, I met new friends (internet friends, but friends nonetheless). Three months ago, my twitter account was lifeless. Nobody really talked to me because I wasn’t in any single fandom; I was anywhere and everywhere. But now I talk to so many different people about so many different things, and it feels nice to have some internet friends for once. (Hey, not that I don’t appreciate my irl friends. It’s just that, with internet friends I feel that there’s less expectation, like showing up.)

Secondly, being in this fandom has kind of gotten me outside my shell a little bit. I don’t usually share so much of my life with people I haven’t met in person, and I’m not nearly as goofy with them as I am with my friends irl. I don’t know. It feels like I re-learned how to communicate with people that aren’t my long-time friends. 

Lastly, I’m actually genuinely spending more time reading the books I said I would read. I met (well, online) this person who reads books I read (I haven’t met a single person who reads the same books I do) and we talk a lot about them. It’s nice having somebody to talk to about these books. It motivates me to read more. And even though it’s technically leisure reading, I consider this a plus because I’ve been trying so hard to achieve my 2019 goal of reading 12 books. I’m a couple books behind. 

 Anyway, that’s that. I can’t really promise that I won’t be spending any more time fangirling about this certain pairing, but I can promise that from now on I will be more mindful about my time and that I won’t push aside my academics. Wish me luck on that promise, I might need it. 

Cheers,

R.