Her gaze focused on the ring before her, and her brow puckered. So many questions came bubbling in her head, but she didn't press. He didn’t like the invasion. Instead, she just nodded. She didn't know how much he knew about Ciaran or anything prior. Or how much others had filled in, but she understood what he was doing. What was meant by this, from him?
"I'm not sure if I'd want him to change them." she looked back at him the statement more of a realization for her rather than him. A soft smile on her face. "Oh, I hardly think he's in the right about much. And yes there many things that he does that I would never do.” A pause, “But that's...why it works. Why what we do works" She took a shaky breath. "We balance each other out, I guess. With his stupid optimistic ways. And me with...my ‘do what it takes attitude’" She wasn’t sure if she called it a balance so much as a mutual understanding. "I know” She repeated firmer “ know it would change me but..."She let out a frustrated sigh, "You don't hear their thoughts on the subject, Sebastian. You can’t hear what it’s like... I went from belonging here, sort of.. to being that mousy young girl in nursery school whom everyone loves to hate" It upset her enough that her hand fisted on the table, unintentionally. She learned long ago others opinions didn’t matter and yet they upset her nonetheless.
"I know that. I know what we’re doing" The ‘we’ she referred to went two ways, but she didn’t comment on it. A firm nod agreeing, because if he'd taught her anything, it was there were always options for doing something. The passive. The extreme and then the inner circle way. "But...we saved people. Sebastian and it felt good to be there reactionary force like you say. To see mutants doing good for other mutants damned the consequences”
Shaw: While Castle was certainly an interesting person, he most certainly not the one he was looking for to share the meal he had had flown in from New York. The next logical choice would be her room. He hadn't been back since the incident with Ari and the man with the glasses. Food in hand he made his way to her room and knocked this time. "Emma, open up. I come bearing good food."
Emma: Emma had been well avoiding a lot of people. She'd taken the day off needing just to be alone. But she should have known that alone at SU meant forty thousand people were messaging her or coming to check on her. None of which knew the extent of her "illness.” The knock was met with a weird expression before she opened the door. Still in her oversized nightshirt that just barely covered everything. "Yes, darling?" She asked like it was expected he'd show up, as she leaned against the door ushering him in
Shaw: Shaw held up the two bags filled with farm to table vegetarian food as an explanation. "From Blue Hill. If I never see a hamburger again, it will be too soon." The outfit was an interesting choice for mid-day, he noted, but remained silent on the matter as he entered. "I got out of a meeting with our Hong Kong club. Things are progressing well enough."
Emma: "Why do you think I rarely eat meat nowadays?" She laughed and moved to the table set off to the side "Oh?" She offered bin means of him elaborating, "I didn't realize you were meeting them. You could have called, I would have joined." She didn't feel like doing much, but she would have killed--figurative, mostly--to fall back into that routine. It was nice. Knowing where she stood with people.
Shaw: "When I swung by your office and found a grumbling army Captain who can't read cursive sitting at your desk I assumed you must be busy." Sebastian laughed at the memory. Being caught off guard had not been fun, but Castle proved himself a nice distraction. He took a detour into the kitchen to start grabbing the necessary plates and things. "The poor man had no idea who I was. Maybe we'll become friends."
Emma: "Took a mental health day." Week. what was the difference. She smiled at him, sitting herself down in one of the four chairs, knee brought to her chest. "You'll become friends with anyone, Sebastian. You're charismatic, funny and smart. I didn't realize i had to remind you of that."
Shaw: A mental health day made him pause for a moment before collecting everything and depositing them on the table. "Care to share what's brought this day off on?" He pushed her bag towards her and began to shuffle through his own to find the starter salad. "Oh, no need to remind me, he's just the sort who finds all those qualities to be intimidating. He couldn't wait to be rid of me and I would have been offended if I wasn't at the time in the mood for a good brawl."
Emma: She kept her gaze on the bag as it was pushed toward her. Opening up the contents she pulled it out and laid out in front of her. Salad first. Finally, she looked up at him. "The conversation we last had. The events of that night. Presently going on dramas that this school has. Al the thoughts and...feelings and expectations" Her fork waved through the air as she spoke listening to the reasons. Complications. "I'm conflicted, and I don't wish to be." She stated as if that explained it all. Would simply make it less complicated. "Ahh, I see. Well lucky you then?"
Shaw: "Causing you distress was not my intent. I hope you understand that." He ate his salad and considered her other points. "I was hoping to prevent this actually. I should have given it a better effort it seems. I've never had that connection to the emotions of others the way you do. I hope this whole place hasn't overloaded you. Children are less stable than adults after all. Nothing you can't rise above of course." Ah, eggplant Parmesan on a bed of zucchini noodles for the main course. "The best way to deal with being conflicted is to separate your two concerns. Is this about that police force thing you do with Sean?" If he was truly lucky, he would have been late having to change into clothes not covered in the good soldier's blood.
Emma: "I know..."She stated softly, just pushing the salad around as he spoke. She wasn't all that hungry, but she forced a few bites down. "I have no doubt I can't separate myself from them. Just takes time. It's not so much as overloading as suffocating. I know I can, but it's going to take time and if I'm honest, I'm tired of presenting myself something I'm not.." She wasn't morally upstanding. She wasn't like them, but she wanted to be some days. She gave a brilliant smile, "I just need a day to remember that, I suppose." And the comment of team x she tensed. "Scott." She corrected, "Partially I suppose yes. But It was a silly dream I suppose."
Shaw: "And yet I did," he pointed out. He wasn't overly excited to replay the conversation where he pointed out his weak standing at SHIELD U, but it seemed like something Emma needed. The idea that she was hiding her true self-made him stop. He put down his fork and considered her seriously. "Pretending? Then stop," he said it as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "You are powerful, intelligent, rich and beautiful. The idea that you would hide or diminish any of that is as if saying Van Gogh should have stuck to duller colors to fit with the painting style of the time. It's ridiculous, and perhaps a lot of your stress is coming from this very issue."That's right, Scott, the bleeding heart moderate. "There is nothing silly about preventing humans from gunning down mutants. You just need a better way of moving forward."
Emma: "It's really okay Sebastian." She tried to manage a reassuring smile. She swallowed hard, moving to get a bottle of water, giving him her back as he spoke. She wasn't going to pretend. She was a bloody Frost, and that meant something but now? Emma nodded before turning back to him, bottle to her lips. "Perhaps, Did you want something to drink?" she asked before shrugging off the other bits of information. It was much more complicated than that, and she knew it. She knew exactly why she wanted to be better too. "No, I'm very certain my stress comes from matters of the heart. But that problem didn't help." She confessed, "A better way?"
Shaw "Scotch on the rocks." This conversation was growing irritating. He had come here, with food even, with a plan to have Emma confide with him. The mental health day idea had thrown him slightly, but he had course corrected and still she was saying a lot without giving him any real usable information. When she said 'manner's of the heart' his entire course of action was thrown out the window. "You have your eye on someone?" Shaw was unable to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice. It only increased with the second question. "Do you have your eye on someone who does not feel the same way?" Then the worse question of all came to mind, and he blurted it out in shock. "Is he human?"
Emma: Emma nodded and swift searched the cabinet for his favorite --consequently her favorite as well. Finding it, she filled a tumbler up with ice and poured it for him. Setting it down before him she pursed her lips. She felt the irritation. She froze at the question and sighed. "Yes...Maybe. I don't know" She finally said truthfully. "It's all very complicated." She couldn't help the face she made at him. The one that said 'Really?' without having to say it. "I don't..know I assume he does." She couldn't help the laugh that left her. "No. Could you say that with less disgust maybe?"
Shaw: Sebastian accepted the drink with a nod of thanks. He sipped at it as she floundered for an answer. From what he could decipher, she was interested in someone who was not being open with her about their feelings. "What did you find when you looked into their mind?" he asked, not even hesitating to consider that she wouldn't do such a thing. "I could probably manage it if I could think of something more disgusting, but at this moment I am at a loss. So who is this person that is causing all of your troubles?"
Emma: Emma sat down and sipped at her water buying herself time. She licked her lips and chewed it for a moment more. "I haven't been in his head..Or rather I stay out of it, as I stay out of yours for respect." She met his gaze then. Though, if she were honest, Emma brushed his mind often as she did with Scott. "Well as long as it's the most disgusting thing ever" She rolled her eyes as she teased him. She looked at him. Did she tell him? She opened her mouth for a moment and then shut it. With a sigh, she leveled her gaze at him. "Scott."
Shaw: [to which Jenn sent this as his reaction] "No," said Shaw. He said so with a tone of finality. All pretense of equality between them gone at the name she provided. She was his disciple and right hand, and Scott had proven himself in half an hour to be indelicate, brash, wishy-washy and overly confident. "Absolutely not."
Emma: Emma blinked, "Excuse me?" Her face was set, and she took a shallow inhale. No. That was it? Her brow rose, and she crossed her arm. "I don't think I was asking for your permission.”
Shaw: "Emma..." he paused and considered his drink before trying to phrase his objection more appropriately. She was technically right when she said she didn't need his permission, but he was quite unable to express why this was quite possibly the only thing worse than dating a human. "Emma, why?"
Emma: "Sebastian" She stated quickly after him, pushing the food from in front of her. She sighed. "Honestly. I don't know..." Her defensiveness had died down. "There's just something. Something about him.And you know me better than anyone I don't..do relationships. I don't do that even now after Ciaran. and what a mess Ian was... And even then he infuriates me and pushes me to be something, something more than just White Queen or Emma Frost all at the same time..." She stopped because she was rambling, "I don't know why. But it frankly doesn't matter. After the other night it's pointless" She tried to keep the disappointment from her voice, but it snuck in there.
Shaw: "I do understand why you hesitate in this area, I really do." He remembered the mess with Ciaran, that complete and utter bastard. And there were his own deeply personal memories of Lourdes Chantel and the end of their engagement. After something like, it was easy to see that romantic relations were a risk at the very least. "I've noticed that throughout this meal we continue to discuss your unhappiness with your identity. Even now you site his desire to change you as a positive rather than a negative. And he infuriates you because he is perhaps the worst type of stubborn. Even in my short time with him, he was unbending to the point where he made a young lady shatter and turn around and attempt to burn down the campus." Ah, so the fight between them was more than friends disagreeing. That explained a lot. Part of him wished it was pointless, that the whole affair was over with. But, if Emma truly cared about him and if he had to sense to realize he should grovel for her attention, they would work it out.
Emma: "Do you?" She questioned. After everything the past year, Emma didn't want to think about these things. It was silly. "I'm not unhappy with who I am." She stated it firmly. She wasn't deep down. It only complicated things. "It just..makes it harder." Make what harder, of course; Emma didn't know. But there it was. Being the White Queen was on thing. Being Emma Frost was another, and she didn't want to change either. But somewhere between dying and coming back to life something had changed. "Ever since I died," she said the world softly, "I'm not the same person. I'm colder. Less open" It felt weird to confess to him. "But I'm not with him. And I'm not with you." She looked at him, "He's stubborn but so am I. And everything tells me this is a silly girl’s hope of being labeled hero rather than villain." But she knew better. Once a villain always a villain. So everyone so kindly reminded her. "What happened with Miss Wilson wasn't only his fault. It was mine as well. I'm not going to pretend I'm blameless. I could have certainly handled the situation better."
Shaw: In for a penny, in for a pound. Sebastian reached into his wallet and pulled out a beautiful platinum and diamond engagement ring and set it on the table between them. "Yes, Emma, I do understand." Lourdes had died before Emma arrived at the club. He honestly didn't know how much of the club had gossiped the information to her. Buckman had taken her life, and Shaw took everything he could from Buckman in return. From that moment on any real romantic relationship was doomed. "Caring about people is a hardship. I just wonder if Scott would ever change his views for you. Or is he so solidly in the right that I should be inviting him to lead us all?" "You died, Emma. You were dead, and now you are not. If near-death experiences can change a man, why would your actual death not change you? Are these changes so bad? What has openness and warm feelings every won either of us? And what is a villain here? One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. I wish you could see yourself as I see you, Emma. You are fighting for people who are too scared to fight for themselves or too wrapped up in their baseless morals to fight for others. We do not have to be a reactionary force like these modern day heroes."
Emma: Her gaze focused on the ring before her, and her brow puckered. So many questions came bubbling in her head, but she didn't press. She just nodded. She didn't know how much he knew about Ciaran. Or how much others had filled in, but she understood. "I'm not sure if I'd want him to change them." she looked back at him, a soft smile on her face, "Oh I hardly think he's in the right about much. And yes there many things that he does that I would never do. But that's...why it works." She took a shaky breath. "We balance each other out, I guess. With his stupid optimistic ways. And me with...my ‘do what it takes attitude’" "I know..I know it would change me but..."She let out a frustrated sigh, "You don't hear their thoughts on the subject. I went from belonging here to being that mousy young girl in nursery school." It upset her enough that her hand fisted on the table. "I know that." She nodded, firmly agreeing because if he'd taught her anything, it was that. "But...we saved people. Sebastian and it felt good to be there reactionary force like you say.”
