@derverlust
She is aware. She might even say that for the first time, she is awake. Being afflicted with the Curse of EVA has never been a problem; up until now, it was just another setback. Being unable to age means nothing when the other side has people who can claim the same.
But she has seen below NERV’s floors, beneath the small container and tube of LCL that she calls home. Rei Ayanami has seen the clones, stretching as far as the eye can see, asleep in their vats, As long as she lives they can never wake; if she dies one of them will take her place, but the only way she can die, that the Commander will allow her to die, is in combat, and WILLE hasn’t attacked in months.
She’s a traitor, Ayanami thinks, for wishing that WILLE would come. But she’s also a coward, for if they did she would still fight; the void of death is more frightening to her than a continued existence, though by living she condemns her sisters to an unending sleep. Maybe it’s a mercy, that they’ll never have to wake and face her reality, but to Ayanami all it is is a curse.
Her hand slams into the side of her little steel shelter, leaving behind a dent in the shape of her palm. Rei Ayanami does not get angry, but she is not Rei- just an Ayanami. Maybe not even that. To the Commander she’s just another pawn, and the thought spurs her to lash out again, hammering a trembling fist into the wall, the echos of this action undoubtedly echoing outside.