Jul 26, 2018
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Hey, what’s up? I hate getting personal but I’ve been struggling badly lately and haven’t wanted anything but to self-induce pain to try and distract my mind from my current situation. I’m not going to go into extreme detail but basically here’s what’s going on:
-i cant get the help i need at school even though my dr recommended me for it b/c the school has to decide whether or not im “disabled enough” for it
-due to not getting the help i need for my illness im struggling to keep my grades up
-i’ll never get to see the only girl at school i trusted again b/c her family sent her away to a permanent residential/inpatient
-my bf is basically all i have right now when it comes to talking/confiding in anyone
-b/c my grades are slipping im not allowed to see my bf very much and have to replace time w/ him w/ studying notes that i cant remember even typing
-i now get my phone taken away at 7:30pm b/c my parents think its the reason i struggle to sleep
-being on my phone as a distraction was the only coping mechanism i had control over and that was healthy
-we’re having serious plumbing issues in our basement and the whole house now smells b/c of it(we’re in the process of getting it fixed)
-my dad may be taking away the only thing I have left from my Aunt who died in 2015 when he already sold and used everything else she left me for bills (she left one part of the basement to me as an art studio b/c she was an artist and wanted me to pursuit my art dream as well)
-i only get to see my therapist once every other week
-i cant really talk to any teachers or counselors at school b/c most of the things i want to talk about they’d have to tell my parents and that’d only make things worse
-my parents are really hard to communicate w/ b/c everything i tell them they either take too lightly or take too hard
-my chronic illness has been acting up a HELL of a lot lately
-I’m on my laptop right now posting this b/c i’m not allowed on my phone
-the only phone charger i have for myself is really shitty but i dont have time to go and buy a new one nor do i want to ask my parents for money