#06272016

[d-aritzy21-blog]

You were holding your own bottle not even a week old

[d-aritzy21-blog]

Me and you baby

[d-aritzy21-blog]

You and your Daddy

[lostinwonderland14-blog1]

it felt like a deep wrongness in my core. i was offered words of love and intimacy once, twice, five times– i rejected them all thinking, i was afraid of love. but then i realized that nothing is wrong with me, that it’s fine not to want what others have. and though sometimes i feel like there’s an empty hole in my being, it is perfectly all right to fill it on my own and not wait for someone else to do it for me. i realized that it’s fine to be all by myself and crave no lips to kiss, no skin to touch, no body to hold, no soul to share my bed. and though i still long for love i wait for no lover.

i wait for no lover//06272016

***** pretty late but this is in celebration of Pride 2016 💜

[rxcked]

didn't think i'd hate myself as much as i do right now, guess anything is possible

[daltonrapattonidaily]

[c-camachoo]

Y Lo que yo digo Va. Asi o mas claro? 😘

[whosesasha]

I can’t believe all these years how wrong I was about what strength really is. All these years I didn’t want to be weak I was always the person picked 1st or 2nd. Always the person that people can confide in. Always the tallest. Always the strongest. Always the person that was NEVER SICk. NEVER CRIED about anything because I thought those things equated to WEAKNESSES. I always correlated myself with hypermasculinity; never doing feminine things and was always competetive because I didn’t want to be seen as /one of those girls/. It’s been all these years and it’s like I’m too stubborn to change. I keep being told that people don’t know what I’m thinking, or that they don’t expect EMOTIONS out of me. I can’t portray emotions anymore because I’ve held myself back from showing emotions all these years. When I’m sick I tell people I’m not to not be seen as weak but I’m the most mentally ill person I know. I DONT PLAY SPORTS ANYMORE I CAN BARELY LEAVE MY ROOM. My social skills and my personality don’t correlate or intertwine anymore. I’m NOT happy anymore. People want the old me back but I don’t know where she is. She’s someone that can’t be reached. It used to be so simple when I was younger to avoid all my problems but now I don’t know how to solve them. Who an help me? I’ve ask god for help but does he want me to take the first step? My heart is breaking. I don’t know what to do and the thing that kills me the most is that I can’t change can I? I’ve been like this for years can pills change it? Which pill. ONE kind of pill can change it all but which one can change it for good? I just want to go get a job, speak to people I love, just talk to people! I pray every night for change but I think it’s my fault for not believing in myself. I wonder if people are praying for me…. What if it all goes to waste if I kill myself? I can’t imagine living a life like this for more YEARS. How do people do it. should I go to therapy. Will my mom believe me if I said that I’m falling apart I don’t know where to turn anymore. Crying isn’t weak it’s brave to do in front of others. You can be strong in other aspects like emotions, or your favorite hobbys or your favorite subject. Don’t build a wall sound yourself to protect yourself from your problems THATS WEAK don’t abandon people you don’t watlnt to confront THAT’S WEAK don’t leave yourself to suffer in the future THATS WEAK.