#062926

[nom-de-crude]

soothing sievert sickness

i first saw you

in the cold protvino lab

with your cathode-ray tubes tied up way out of your face

watching from afar

i observed the atoms you smashed

and the resultant particles

ephemeral and transitional

all recorded on my clipboard

hungry to see you running again

when they first let me near you

all my training dropped like necrotic skin

dead dead weight

sheaf of research papers

scattering on sterile sheet-concrete

my head was barely in for a second

when i saw your real face

a blue flash

brighter than a thousand suns

tearing through my occipital lobe

immediately spilling onto the floor

was my evidence that the dosage was fatal

the nausea is purportedly immediate

proton currents are supposedly sour

strangely enough, you didn’t hurt at all

[vivalaroza]

📍June Lake, CA

[bloosclues]

I love my tumblr so much bc it’s truly a time capsule. Every love, heartbreak, era, dream has inspired a page written. I love to look back and reminisce, I love to remember what I was doing and how I was feeling. I wish I could just hug every version of me that beared her soul & poured her heart out until she had nothing left. Then waited for the world to show her more. As the calendars pages flip month by month and are replaced by another year after year. I change, I grow, sometimes not much has evolved and sometimes I don’t recognize myself. What’s never left me was this undeniable feeling in the center of my chest that my life is meant for something so much greater than my current circumstances. I saw that in myself, even while vision impaired and naive. I’m always looking back or forward on nights like these. It’s touching to think that the me then was looking forward to this moment… we’re still connected in that way and I still feel that tug in my heart.

Sometimes I don’t write because I want everything I create to be “good”. I worry that I’m not as articulate and thought provoking as my favorite authors. I worry that I don’t know enough words or I’m too wordy. I worry that I can’t paint a picture vivid enough to invade an imagination. I worry that the heart strings I pull on don’t travel deep enough. I worry that the worlds that I build won’t have a solid foundation.

But sometimes it doesn’t have to be good, most times it’s just for me.

Take care of yourself,

B

[source-xooos]

xooos_ 🌊☀️💚

[source-xooos]

xooos_ 🌊☀️💚

[gracefortheday]

ENTRY# 062926

VERSE OF THE DAY: PSALMS 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.

THE PEACE OF GOD FOR ANXIOUS HEARTS There is a lot of anxiety and worry in the world around us. Many people are worried about the quality of their future, the security of their investments, or the threat of sickness or war.

Anxiety and worry aren't just things that happens around us, but something that can also happen within us. A lot of people struggle with anxiety over their future, their family, their finances, their career, or their personal health.

Scripture tells us that while there are some things that are within our control, most things in life are outside of our control. So more often than not, we spend time worrying about things we have no control over.

Scripture tells us that trust in God should fill the gap between reality and what we desire. We should not be anxious about the things we cannot control, but rather we should submit everything to God in prayer. He alone has control over the unknown.

That is why the writer of Psalm 4 says that he will lay down at night in peace, free from anxiety and worry. Even though the writer is surrounded by danger, he places his trust in God. That leads him to sleep peacefully in safely.

The quality of our sleep is often a symptom of our trust in God. If we are anxious and restless at night, it could mean that there are things we’re not trusting God with.

Spend some time considering your own heart. Are you anxious or filled with worry? Meditate on God’s power and sovereignty. Ask Him to fill you with His peace and assurance that He is in control of your future. Continually remind yourself of the promises that God has given you in Scripture.

BE ENCOURAGED Allow yourself to be held by the God who never lets go.

SHARE YOUR FAITH God is big enough to handle your doubts, your worries, and your fears. Remind someone of this truth today!

God, I can sleep peacefully because I know that You love me and care about my future. So right now, I surrender my concerns to You. Give me peace-filled rest, so I can rise joyfully and do all that You've called me to do. In Jesus' name, Amen.