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I felt too “heavy” on inktober day 9. So I skipped this one. 💔

#blog #09.10.2025 #inktober

And this is a stupid thing to say, because I know he was more than willing to be there for me, but my best friend who was with me at the time, and he’s here today… I remember him saying, I’m just so sorry. And he was crying his eyes out. Just like, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.

I felt guilty that he felt like that, which is stupid. I’ve said before about how me and my family are some of the characters in the story, but often what’s not often spoke about in the name of grief are people like my best friend and the role they have to play. Now, these are not trained therapists. These are not people who have had any kind of reference of this kind of pain. And all you’re doing as a best friend is demanding— or actually praying, hoping— that they give you something in return that will… not change the reality, but just be there for you.

Nothing in life prepares you for those kind of situations. That’s something that I will forever, forever, ever be in debt to him for. Yes, this was an unfathomable, really impossible situation for me and my family to have found ourselves in. But there are other people at play too, and I can only imagine how hard it was for him. He knew how hard it was for me, and that I had just lost my mum. There are no words. You’re scrambling your brain for words, right, and there just aren’t any.

- Louis Tomlinson, Diary of a CEO (09.10.2025)

#grief #oli wright #louis tomlinson #diary of a ceo #09.10.2025