#0myrandomthoughts4

[starsandsakuras]

[starsandsakuras]

[starsandsakuras]

[starsandsakuras]

[starsandsakuras]

You took a Polaroid of us Then discovered The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color

For the past few days, we hadn’t a single decent talk. Never answering my calls. Ignoring my texts. I used to think whether there will come a day, when you don’t love me anymore. Before, it seemed so impossible. But now, I can almost  taste it. Bittersweet.

I am but a girl who fell in love with a boy. There’s nothing wrong with that. Except the fact that maybe a gave too much of myself to him that now, I have nothing left. I can’t even recognize myself anymore.

This pain that’s eating me alive. I can’t even show myself how much I’m hurting. I feel so numb. So displaced. I am watching myself fall apart.

I was whole. I didn’t need anyone. And then you came and made me want to share my love with you. You could’ve taken what you need. But instead you took it all and left me empty.

She lost him. But she found herself. And somehow that was everything.

[starsandsakuras]

Everybody leaves.

[starsandsakuras]

06012016

I decided to go back to Baguio city because it has always been home to me. Now that I’m here, I feel lost more than ever.

[starsandsakuras]

The past few months has been really tough for me. I've reached a point where in I've lost all my motivation. I eat stress for breakfast, toxicity for lunch, and tears for dinner. I am not myself anymore and I know I can do better. I just need everything to like chill for a second so that I can get my shit together. But life won't wait for me. Life is not a wish-granting factory. I am going to get my shit together while life is throwing bricks at me. Everyone has left me. Nobody understands. I found myself begging for their company. While crying myself to sleep a while ago, I've come to a realization that I don't need anyone in this world. I don't need their company. I need God. I've been awake for 24 hours and counting. But that won't stop me from going to choir practice today. I am going to start now. I am going to bring myself closer to God. I am going to sing my heart out through His hymns. Because He is the Only One who has never left my side. I'm going to give back all the praise. I'm going to start counting my blessings. A positive life starts with Him and positive thinking. So that's my rant for today 😂