#1:48pm

[ajyal-azez]

اِرحم أبي و أذقه من النعيم ماوعدت به المؤمنين، وإجعله في نعيم دائمٌ غير منقطع يارب العالمين.

[glitter-asian]

《 l o v e m e 》

"Jinsoul! Wait." You were out of breath as you ran behind the pretty girl. "Please don't leave. I.. I..."

"You what?" Jinsoul asked as she turned to face you. Her dark eyes gazing into yours with sheer confusion. Anxiety flooded your body, you had been hiding this for the past two years and denying it everytime someone asked. And then things changed.. and you tried to tell her.. you tried to get her attention but it was all in vain. Almost like a series of unfortunate events. But now, this was your one chance to say the truth.

"I .. love you." You blurted out.

"You what?" Jinsoul asked.

" I L O V E you." You spelled out the word to her. A slight tinge of red tainted her cheeks.

"Me?" Jinsoul asked.

"Yes, you... I've been trying to tell you for a week now .. I've brought you cakes and chocolates and I even got Jaehyun to each me to play the guitar so I could sing your favourite songs.. but everytime I try I j-"

The next thing you felt was her lips against yours. A soft kiss of nothing but school girl love and cherry blossom freshness. Your eyes widened as you felt her hand pressed flat against your cheek.

Jinsoul pulled away.

"I L O V E you too." Jinsoul giggled.

[40-bee-07-daily-blog]

Got my bag together for my first college class today

[ajyal-azez]

إني أبحثُ عن انعكاسِي في الأشيَاء كي لا أنطفئ..

[ajyal-azez]

هُنا حيث كل الأشياء تتلاشى، وأنا كذلك.

[ajyal-azez]

لم يكن حقيقياً بل كان خيالاً رائع، يمتطي صهوة حصان أبيض في وضح النهار إلى توارى خلف السحاب ثم اختفى.

[suddenmsgsx]

I don't know why, pero magkakarelevance yung kantang 'forevermore' sa life ko in the coming months.

[the-daily-scrommit]

February 20, 2023

Feb 20, 2023- Fifteenth entry

Hey everyone, it's been a minute. I feel like so much and so little has happened this last month; I'll try to find a good balance that covers everything without getting too rambley or specific.

Since my last entry, I've been talking to and hanging out with my friends more, expanding my social circle, diving into my breakup in therapy, getting more hours at work, staying busy, exploring myself and my gender expression again, let the bridge between my ex and I burn, continued to date around, and have generally taken the best care of myself I think I ever have.

This month alone, I've been to three punk shows with friends to experience the local scene and explore this new social setting that I've always been vaguely interested by. I haven't gotten in the pit at any shows yet, but they've been a lot of fun for me even with me just sitting by the walls, holding my friends' things while they mosh and do whatever else. I haven't been too overwhelmed by much at shows so far, and I've had a lot of fun getting to watch everyone and everything.

Reconnecting with friends has been so easy and natural. It's a very lucky thing to know that I have people that I can return to at any point in life as if no time has passed at all. Shows, dinners, coffee dates, no matter what it's been, it's always been casual and fun. I've felt so connected to people since starting the healing process following my breakup, and to feel more of that connection to people I was already to strongly tied to has been beautiful.

The last time I talked with my ex was the eighth of this month. Following a request that they hold themselves accountable for how they caused me pain in the relationship, I sat through my last time being gaslighted by them for far too long. Thankfully I had therapy the day after and was able to talk it through, and thankfully my therapist called this out to me as blatant emotional abuse. Since then, I've let the bridge that my ex lit on fire burn; I won't be reaching out to them on my own, and I won't talk with them until they can accept that they did cause me harm during our time together. My friends wouldn't have a hard time with me calling them out for causing me pain or discomfort, and if they want a place in my life, especially if it's as a friend, that is something they will need to learn to do on their own. If things were different, I'd say that I'd help them learn that, but so far they've shown that they can't be helped or taught in this regard. That's okay; I'll be here if they end up truly willing to listen and understand.

Dating around is something I've continued to have fun with, but it's slowed down significantly this month. While I'm still talking to a handful of guys, there are really only two I'm continuing to see regularly now, and they've been very sweet to me. I've started using the two of them as a good gauge of what I might desire from a new relationship and have been very transparent about the fact that I'm not looking for anything serious anytime soon.

I've felt so alive and so beautiful recently, and I'm very lucky to be where I am in my life right now. I'm healing in ways I didn't know I needed and that doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

I'll write again soon, I promise. Until then, goodnight, take care; I am sending you love <3