i thought i was okay with waiting until february to see a therapist but im growing more numb each second im becoming nothing so quick and im using alcohol to help to not acknowledge the numbness
they told me to call an ambulance if it gets too bad or come and be admitted but i keep telling myself its not that bad. im still brushing my teeth so it cant be that bad. i shower at least once every three days so it cant be that bad. im still talking to some people so it cant be that bad. it cant be that bad because i dont want to this to my mother
all i know is that i cant see myself handling life or anything. my sister’s telling me that im lazy because she could manage and internship a job and school all at the same time while im thinking of taking a break from school just because. shes telling me that im lazy. lazy ..? i want to scream at her that i am so disillusioned that i dont know why i ever thought about going to school in the first place. and i dont see the point in anything. i just dont understand the point of life. nothing on this planet seems worthwhile of this suffering anymore.
