If you worry about anything I post here I would say don't worry about it...I expel my weakest moments here for I can't do it irl.
At least not yet, probably. I think I'm a good toy. Because- yeah. It would be so easy to slot the easiest weakest soul out there & make them break down on the spot but there's no fun in that for a immortal immoral god. There's no fun in playing it simple. What makes joy in breaking down the strong. I'm a resilient motherfucker!!! My body closes in on me like temple walls to crush its victim daily.....but I do not scream & I do not cry. Because no one can see me do that.
Here's my values:
1. Express myself.
2. Take care of my dog
3. Prove my worth.
If I can at least achieve those, then it doesn't matter how much I'm broken down eventually. Because it's inevitable. They know what my future holds & it's scary
But listen. I tell myself this: Just stick to your values...as long as those are met...then who cares how much my brain has rotted away, even if it's just a stem left when I keel over ....if anyone finds out I'm not OK. Then I might not be OK. But I have to keep facing forward. Because that's what they don't want....& I'm resilient, & I fight.
