for a while i had been praying asking god to just remove certain things from my life that aren’t truly meant for me, and guide me towards all that is. especially in regards to my love life. and just about every area of my life shifted instantly… except for my love life lol.
so fast forward to last night, i stayed up for quite some time praying and telling god, emphatically, that i was absolutely going to end things with the person i was speaking to most recently. that it was time for me to release them. and that god himself would have to be the one to stop me if staying was somehow better, because i was gonna pull the trigger and end it (lovingly as possible of course, but end it nonetheless). tell me why i woke up to a text with that person being the one to end it! 👀 it’s almost as if god was simply waiting for me to trust myself and make up my mind once and for all before he made any real moves in that part of my life lol. god really had heard my prayers and knew i deserved something more, but was waiting on me to fully step into that energy for myself. i had done it so easily so to speak with everything else. so why hold out on this part? something that is of so much importance to me. nowww, the way i responded to them, part of it did have me cringing lol. ultimately there was love and care, with an offer of future friendship. no rudeness whatsoever, however, i may or may not have left them thinking i was still anxiously-attached due to asking about there potentially being someone else (shoot me 🙄 lmao). i promise though it was truly just curiosity!! 😂 not a ploy to inch my way back in or ask “why not me?” because when i tell you i told god i was done, i meant i was DONE lol. truly wish him all the best with his healing journey though.🤍🤍🤍
anywho, the lesson i’ve been learning this year, especially since my bday (which also happened to be my saturn return) is that i need to step FULLY into what it is that i know i desire and deserve. and who it is that i know i can be. ALL that i could ever dream of is possible, and it doesn’t stop short of an amazing love story. here’s to moving on totally this time, and with complete grace. as well as here’s to remaining open to the fun and love to come.