You Don't Need Me Anymore
Written for the 10trueloves Challenge on Dreamwidth
【9】 Life
Title: You Don’t Need Me Anymore
Ship: Emissaryshipping | Playmaker/Yusaku
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains
Word Count: 1,532
Rating: T
Warnings: Character Death
Tags: Selfcest, Dreams, Death, Grief/Mourning, Moving On
“You don’t need me anymore.”
Yusaku winced as he slept. He knew that voice. It came from deep darkness within his mindscape as he tried to ascertain what kind of dream he was having. He was used to having all kinds of voices in his head, especially as he dreamed. His dreams tended to be awful places, though. Full of nightmares and electricity but not right now.
In bed, under the covers and against a lumpy but warm mattress, Yusaku felt weightless. How novel. He was used to all kinds of sensations, usually bad like the whip and lash of electricity but this one was admittedly new and almost… awesome with how astral and out of body it felt.
“But that’s a good thing. I’m proud of you.”
What sweet nothings and from a familiar source at that. Usually, it was a younger voice though, that of his saviour: Ryoken. But this voice was older, more mature, and from a source that he could only call his own. It was his voice. Kind of.
Or more particularly, the voice he used as Playmaker.
Playmaker was designed as an anonymous agent of justice. He used a voice which was strong and defiant, gravelly tones straight out of a comic book. The voice of a man who wanted to be left alone, who spoke with a straight, metallic edge. The kind of voice which caused people to snap out of panic and listen to him as he once more saved the day. He hadn’t meant to be a hero but that’s what he became as he pursued justice with a relentless grit and determination.
Now that the source of the voice was identified, Yusaku came face to face with his virtual avatar.
The weightlessness around him, that zero gravity sensation, became more anchored. It was akin to being suspended in the air, right before a Link summon, before the arrows were confirmed and before data material could gather and blow akin to a tornado.
“You’ve found me.” Playmaker told him. “And now it’s time to say goodbye.”
Yusaku couldn’t believe his ears. He felt a lump in his throat and it muffled his surprise, the bittersweetness of it. He didn’t understand and Playmaker could tell from the micro-expression of fear that Yusaku poorly kept on lock. If he couldn’t be vulnerable with himself, who could he be?
And with that in mind, Playmaker’s demeanour continued to be calm in this void. The air was not exactly white but close to it, with pale blue and muted cyan. He glanced around, as though nostalgic for this moment where usually, it was the precipice of excitement, of a victory about to be well won and a new Cyberse card manifested but not right now.
The mood was far more angst ridden than that.
Playmaker reached out and he placed his hand, latex clad, on Yusaku’s shoulder. Yusaku noticed he was wearing his school uniform. Odd. He thought he’d been in his pyjamas mere moments ago but that’s just how dreams went but something about this felt real.
The sensation of the taut, squeaky material over his shoulder, the weight in which Playmaker seemed to physically press down on him as though to ground him. That felt so real to Yusaku as this conversation continued: spoken at rather than a dialogue but they were the same person so it was okay to feel this way. It was no different to the usual internal monologue they shared, full of lecturing and logic.
“You don’t need me anymore.” Playmaker told him. “Your fight… Our fight, it's over. You can rest.”
He was already dreaming. What could be more restful than that? Yusaku wanted to push back on the idea but he knew what Playmaker meant. In actuality, there hadn’t been trouble in the network for months at this point. The dust had settled. He had found Ai and the other Ignis were safe in a new Cyberse World that he had helped to create and one he entrusted to the Knights of Hanoi of all people to safeguard.
That’s how much things had changed since then.
Yusaku had filled out and developed more physically because he was well again in the bodily sense. His grades were better than before and he was actually paying attention in school instead of sleeping because he was getting good quality eight hours most nights. He was starting to see a future ahead of him which was entirely meat space: he wanted to keep working with Shoichi and start a business, go to university. Do all that. With his weapons thrown aside, he could finally focus on putting himself back together again in ways he hadn’t ever thought possible. He was even seeing a goddamn therapist again.
His only urged to visit the Link VRAINS these days were rote curiosity. Check all the hidey holes were still empty. That no stone had been left untouched and unturned. It wasn’t necessary. It hadn’t been necessary in a long, long time.
He never wanted to play Duel Monsters but if he did… He just wanted to play in paper with Takeru or Aoi, occasionally Naoki and the Duel Club which he now belonged to proper, maybe Ryoken or Spectre if they were up to it and feeling friendly. He wasn’t scared anymore but now…
He did feel scared again.
A twinge within his heart as he met Playmaker’s gaze. God, fuck, were they always so intense? Yusaku shuddered. The green was so vibrant and his expression so serious. It was intimidating but Playmaker softened that hard edge for Yusaku who managed to squeak out what he was thinking.
He sounded like a child.
“But what if I do need you again?” Yusaku asked. “The idea of never seeing you again, of never being you again, it hurts me deeply.”
“Yusaku.” Playmaker admonished him with such love that it hurt even worse. “You’ll always have me. The lessons I taught you, they will always be here.”
His hand slipped from Yusaku’s shoulder to his chest, to the right side of his ribcage where his heart would be. It beat. Fast and swift. Sensations that as a collection of zeroes and ones, Playmaker had never felt before and he smiled. Genuinely. He relished it.
“All I have ever wanted was for you to be safe and secure.” Playmaker said. “You created me and now, you have succeeded me.” His eyes watered uncharacteristically.
Yusaku nodded. He understood. This was about as happy an ending as either of them could expect, or even want. There had been so many twists and turns, moments where a wrong step could have resulted in their heads on spears or their brains fried and their friends even more worse off than those fates either.
Yusaku placed his hand over Playmaker’s. The touch of smooth, clean latex was electric. He held Playmaker’s hand.
“Thank you, Yusaku.” Playmaker said. “I’m glad I got to say goodbye. Your Link Sense is sharpening every day, who knows what you will be able to do with it next as you. Not me.”
“I’ll do my best.” Yusaku said.
He still thought himself a child, mourning the loss and goodbye of a security blanket but he couldn’t help himself. It was all too real. Too close for comfort as he lost another loved one to that terrible light. A golden glow, the emancipation of pixels as they floated upwards and ascended unto deletion.
Before he knew it, Yusaku was alone.
He was awake but refreshed.
He took a moment to himself to ground himself in reality. He used that moment to notice the stretch and warmth of the sheets around him. Of what the ceiling looked like illuminated with morning sunshine. The sounds that he could hear in the streets, such as people walking, a jackhammer at a construction site, and dogs barking. He even relished the smell of his room, musty like old books and once satisfied that he truly did feel well in the head, Yusaku got up and out of bed.
He stretched his shoulders and yawned. He pondered his dream and how in the wake of it, he felt good about what had happened. His stomach growled and his mouth watered for the taste of coffee. Breakfast beckoned downstairs but as he plodded downwards, he saw the living room in quite a state of disarray with Roboppy trundling on his wheels in circles and Ai in distress and causing a hullaballoo.
“Yusaku, Yusaku, bad news: your Playmaker avatar’s gone missing!” Ai screeched in panic.
Yusaku recoiled. It was way too early in the morning for that level of noise as he watched Ai, in his SOLtiS body, freak out. There was stomping and hands everywhere but Yusaku shook his head.
“I know.” he stated calmly. He moved his hand to his chest, his fingers curled against the soft, worn fabric of his cotton pyjamas. “I deleted him.”
“Huh?!” Ai gawked.
“There are three- no, there is just a single reason why.” Yusaku said. “We didn’t need each other anymore.” And besides, Playmaker was exactly where he needed to be, alive in the flesh within Yusaku’s heart.











