I think the most pathetic feeling in the world is to be not able to cry when all you want to do is just cry all the pain out. Somehow, I was and am not able to cry in the shower. I just do not know why. The past week has been a really tough week for me because I have had my first test of my university life and I realised how behind I am in all my work. Furthermore, I am also doing my Dance Diploma Practical towards the end of the month and that is giving me some unexpected stress.So, when I came back home, I just ranted it all out to my mum( something that I’ve been doing a lot recently). Towards the end of my rant, I was almost on the verge of breaking down. So, I decided to go and shower because I like to be myself at my weakest times. But when I got in the shower, tears just refused to come. I just dont know what it means or how I feel about it. It’s like when I want to just let it all out, I just cannot. I just wnated to put this into words because I don’t know what else to do. I am also writing this because school has become very stressful for me and writing is really liberating, even if I am just ranting. I don’t know why I am writing in this space or who I am writing for. Maybe I am jsut waiting for someone who just understands what I am feeling…..
