Joke - 12 Days of Mingcheng
Hello! Happy Christmas for those who celebrate it and I’m so sorry that I’m posting this so late. Anyways, this is day 4 of @vassar177′s 12 Days of Mingcheng with the prompt Joke! So, I hope you enjoy this and remember to stay safe and sound!
___________________________________________________________
Nie Mingjue couldn't believe his eyes, nor he wanted to because if did, he would have to deal with the fact that, apparently, his husband, his beloved Wanyin, a twenty-eight years old man with whom he was married for four years now, had just painted his older brother's hair bright pink and was hiding behind their bookshelf while Wei Wuxian looked frantically around for him.
Wei Wuxian had slept over after he and Jiang Cheng spent the whole night talking shit about Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan and drinking. Now, it seemed like they had bet something and he had lost. Nie Mingjue stood on the door, watching as his husband giggled like a child while his brother opened and closed their cabinets with his bright pink hair flying behind him.
"Mingjue!" Wei Wuxian finally screamed, having finally gotten a glimpse of him by the door. "Have you seen A-Cheng today?"
"No, I haven't." He said, moving away from the door and closing it. It was, at some stance, true, if he didn't count the call they had earlier, minutes before he entered one of his unfindable meetings. "I had to go out early to do so. Lots of meetings." He moved to a point where he couldn't see his husband anymore, which meant that neither could Wei Wuxian.
"Wait, not even a video call?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.
"No. I had a lot of meetings today, Wei Wuxian." He said slowly, lifting an eyebrow at him. Oh, my god. , he thought, Even his eyebrows are bright pink too. Whatever and however Jiang Cheng had done to make it reach that colour, he had done it well.
"Lan Zhan had too and he interrupted one of his meetings to answer me when I called to show him this." He said, putting his hands on his hips and looking at him strangely.
"Talking about that colour, that's a, uhm, good one." It wasn't, hell it wasn't, but it was preferable talking about it than about what was wrong with that statement. "When did you decide to paint it?"
"Jiang Cheng decided to do it out of nowhere!" His hands flew in the air in outrage as he remembered what his brother had done. "We were drinking and I joked that I've always wanted to paint my hair and when I woke up my hair was like this!" He pulled at his hair, showing that yes, everything was bright pink, not a strand of hair missed and that Jiang Cheng had done a pretty good job at that. Maybe he would recommend him to Nie Huaisang next time his brother wanted to paint his hair again. "Now look at it! It's pink! Bright pink!"
"I thought you liked exaggerated?" He tried slowly, unsure of how to proceed. Sincerely, he thought that Wei Wuxian would have liked it with the way that he was always joking about bright colours and about painting his hair.
"Yes, I do! But it's pink! If it was red or even blue, I wouldn't be so shocked, but it's pink and I teach middle-schoolers. Middle-schoolers!" He rubbed his face frantically, clearly frustrated. "I have to go, I have to see if I can wash at least half of it off." He ran away, grabbing his coat on the way and slamming the door. Nie Mingjue waited some seconds to be sure that he wouldn't be coming back before slowly turning to where he knew Jiang Cheng was probably still giggling like a child.
Taking off his coat, he walked over there, squatting down to look at his child-husband and smiling at him. Jiang Cheng had his hair let down in a way that he generally wouldn't and his eyes were shining with unshed tears of laughing too much, he was still in his pyjamas and Nie Mingjue thought that he was adorable like that. Usually, Jiang Cheng raised earlier than him to go for a run and when he came back, he had been awake for time enough for his usual morning grumpiness to be gone and for Mingjue to be awake enough to have made both of them tea.
"Is it washable?" Nie Mingjue asked, trying to hold back his laugh, but failed miserably when Jiang Cheng covered his mouth with both hands and shook his head with vigour, eyes shining with mirth as he remembered what he did to his brother. "You are evil. Remember me to not, ever make you my enemy."
"He was so shocked." He guffawed, throwing his head back and reaching out for his shoulders. "He looked so, so shocked, A-Jue."
"What did you do?" He was starting to laugh too as tears threatened to fall on Jiang Cheng's eyes.
"He-- He was-- He was sleeping and I went on and started painting his hair." Tears were definitely falling now and Mingjue couldn't hold his laugh either, holding him up as he fell afterwards. They laughed for a good while until none of them were breathing anymore and they had to force themselves to stop and try to breathe.
"I'm so happy that I married you." Nie Mingjue said, laying on the ground and caressing Jiang Cheng's long hair.
"Don't think that just because we are married I can't prank you." Jiang Cheng lifted himself in one arm, staring down at him completely seriously. They kept staring at each other for long seconds before he finally broke up and started laughing, laying down on Mingjue's arm again and kissing his jaw lightly. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, no need to make such a worried face."
"You are horrible. Now tell me how you painted Wei Wuxian's hair." He rolled his eyes, snuggling closer to him and, as he proceeded to tell the odyssey that it was to do that prank, he breathed in relief that he wasn't on his range of pranks.
Because the thing was both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian - And even Jiang Yanli, if the stories they told were true - were masters of pranks and their pranks were never easy to compete with. Nie Huaisang once told him that in one of their "prank wars", even Lan Qiren got involved and not even it made it stop. So, yeah, he wasn't happy about the prospect of getting pulled on those prank wars they had even if it was accidently, he liked his limbs just fine.
Still, days after the first prank, Nie Mingjue was still jumpy and weary of his surroundings, checking everything before using and tasting all the spices before putting on his food and drinks. Jiang Cheng noticed that and would always chuckled to himself before kissing the corner of his mouth and reassuring him that no prank was being pulled on him. He was starting to believe it when it happened.
The fact was Nie Mingjue got scared easily, even more easily than Nie Huaisang, which meant that any "boo" would have him jumping five feet in the air, but what scared him the most was body horror for sure. Maybe that was why his reaction was so exaggerated when one day he opened his freezer and sas a severed head there, blood frozen on it's face and their hair falling beside them. He had just woken up and was preparing his and Jiang Cheng's tea when it happened, right after Jiang Cheng had arrived from his usual morning run. Jiang Cheng had been in their room when his scream reached him and he came running to the kitchen, only to start laughing when he saw what Nie Mingjue was screaming.
"It's for Mo Xuanyu's birthday." He had said between laughs, holding himself on the dining desk and hugging his stomach. "It's a cake, my soul. Not a real head."
"That boy has problems. You all have problems if you are indulging in this." He grumbled, closing the door with more force than necessary and staring at him. "You could have at least warned me."
"I'm sorry, it slipped off my mind with all the preparations for the boy's birthday, but I assure you that it was not my intention to scare." He walked over to him, hugging his neck and kissing his cheek before a wicked smile appeared on his face. "Though I can't complain. Your face was adorable, all wide eyes and hands over it." Nie Mingjue moaned in pain, letting his head hit his shoulder as he started to laugh again. He let him laugh and all, but he knew what it meant and it meant war.
He started to plan, thinking on how he could prank him back and even searched on the internet for some ideas. In the end, he decided to fill his car with balloons while he was at work. One of the many privileges of being his own boss was that he could make up his own schedule to fit on his desires and his desires right then were for revenge and payback.
Jiang Cheng worked at a small and local veterinary clinic ever since he graduated from college after leaving his previous job on his father's company to pursue his dreams. Back then, they hadn't been dating yet, but it didn't affect how proud he felt of him when he arrived at their weekly dinner telling what he did that day with a smile so big and bright that it illuminated the whole room. Now, after he graduated and found a job in that small clinic, Mingjue feared that sometimes he would explode with pride whenever his husband came home telling stories about his patients with a smile so big as that day.
That being, he asked for one of the secretaries to warn him when Jiang Cheng was busy to begin his prank. Once she gave him a green signal, Nie Mingjue ran to the parking lot where he knew that the car would be along both Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu with bags and more bags of balloons filled with helium and the spare key in his pockets. They had spent the whole previous day filling those, profiting from the fact that Jiang Cheng would pass the whole day taking care of his nephews.
Mo Xuanyu would be the one to stay back to film his reaction when he opened his car and the balloons started to float out. The kid had just gained a new car from Jin Zixuan and would be using the fact that Jiang Cheng didn't know his car yet to go undercover while Nie Huaisang borrowed Wen Ning's to film the other side of it. At that time, Nie Mingjue would be back at his work so as to not lift any suspicion, just waiting for the good results of his planning.
And, oh, what good results they were indeed. When Jiang Cheng opened his car and the balloons started to float around, his face was priceless with confusion surfacing on it as more and more balloons hit him. He had immediately gone in an attack position, hitting them left and right before finally stepping away to look at his car in total disbelief as the last ballons got out and a cardboard cutout of him appeared, sitting on the passenger seat and smiling up to him.
"Nie Mingjue!" He had screamed, throwing his hands into the air in anger and, even if he knew he was fucked, Nie Mingjue still laughed loudly at that.
After that, the pranks happened as quick as they could come up with and he found himself surprisingly enjoying himself. In retaliation, Jiang Cheng came up with that old prank of the spider so that when he pulled on his toolbox, a spider would jump at his hands. He still could hear the loud laugh that he let out when he heard him screaming in absolute terror at the sight of the small and fake insect.
"You are on." Jiang Cheng said, passing in front of the room with a devilish grin on his mouth.
"You are gonna regret this." He hissed, taking a look at the spider before groaning loudly.
He let him off for some days, not doing anything and acting at the peak of his good behaviour, before finally striking down on a Saturday. Ever since Nie Huaisang knew Jiang Cheng, the boy would go over to their house and take naps at their couch while Huaisang worked on whatever it was at time and he never actually lost that habit. More times than not, if he wasn't home or with his nephews, it was probably that he was at Huaisang's apartment, just napping or talking shit with his brother while scrolling down his phone.
"It's done. And we are fucking doomed." Nie Huaisang said, closing his bedroom door and looking at him with wide eyes. "He's napping right now and all his nails are done. Even his feet, but I didn't put any acrylics on it obviously."
"Ok, good. Now, we wait." Nie Mingjue said, patting the space beside him.
"Do you want to see them? They are purple and they have lotus on them too." He pulled his phone out, snuggling closer to him. They were long, very long and they were stiletto-shaped. Some of them were fully painted with a dark purple while the others were a lighter shade and the both ones on the middle fingers had a lotus flower painted on it. He thought that they suited him very much.
"Oh, you painted those? So cool." He said, scrolling through the photos he had taken. "Wait, you didn't post those, did you?"
"Of course not! Do you think I have a death wish? I will wait until he's awake and screaming with you to post it." A heartbeat passed and he added. "And take the opportunity to go home."
"Now that's more like it." He nodded, settling down and focusing on the documentary he was watching. They watched it to the end, judging the director's choices of lighting and editing and just the way they told the story in general. The second one was in the middle when a scream reached their ears and both of them let out a chuckle, looking to the door in expectation.
"Nie Huaisang!" Jiang Cheng yanked the door open, holding a hand out to show the nails. Just like Nie Mingjue had predicted, they suited him very well.
"Yes, Jiang-xiong?" Nie Huaisang said, turning to him with a smile.
"What are those?" He hissed and narrowed his eyes at him.
"Acrylic nails." He beamed at him, fully going into his mood of adorableness that no one could resist.
"And what are they doing on my fingers?" He got closer to them, shoving the nails to his face.
"That's with Da-ge. I don't know anything." With that, the little shit slipped away, already scrolling on his phone.
"Well?" Jiang Cheng turned to him and Nie Mingjue smiled sheepishly at him.
"I dare you to spend the whole weekend with them?" Nie Mingjue said instead of acting like a normal person and explaining that it had been a prank and that he could take them off if he wanted.
"You are evil." He sighed as he dropped on the mattress beside him before curling up against him and huffing on his neck. "There's going to be payback." He whispered in an oversweetly voice, kissing the end of his jaw and tapping his new nails on his chest.
"I expect such." He chuckled, kissing the top of his head and pulling him closer. "I love you."
"I love you too." He said at the same time Nie Huaisang reappeared and gagged at them.
"And you two are gross." He shook his head, making a disgusted face at them just to jump between them and settle down, showing them the new update on his Weibo page. "Look, my last post already has three hundred likes!"
"The one with the birdhouse?" Jiang Cheng said, moving his head closer to see the screen.
"Yes!" He was smiling big now as he and Mingjue rolled his eyes.
As the weekend passed, Jiang Cheng didn't take off his new nails though he knew how to do so from all the times he helped Nie Huaisang do so and if Nie Mingjue waa crazy enough - And he was - he would even dare to say that he enjoyed them. Every time someone made a bad comment about them, he gave them a sharp look and asked if they didn't had anything better to do than look at other people's lives and, when they were good, he would smile and say who had done them, showing them to the little kids who always seemed mesmerised by it. That was the reason that he thought that his husband had forgotten about the payback.
But, oh, how wrong he had been, how wrong. It was late Sunday and Nie Mingjue was taking a nap at his bed after a whole day of cleaning the house when he felt something passing over his lips and heard giggles coming from above him. Slowly, he opened his eyes to look up at whoever it was and saw as the person's eyes widened and they rolled away, getting out of the bed and scooting away from them.
"Oh my god. You are awake." Jiang Cheng giggled, putting a hand over his mouth and Nie Mingjue found himself not caring at all to whatever it was that he had just done to him just because of the mirth on his eyes. "You are lovely, my soul."
"What did you do?" He narrowed his eyes at him, trying to not let his smile out.
"Here, look." He gave him a small mirror and smirked. Then, as he looked at his reflection, he understood why he was laughing so hard. Jiang Cheng had shaved half of his moustache and was going to the second half when he woke up.
"Fucking shit. You won." He whispered, moving his face up, down and to the sides to look at it properly. "Well, I think that you need to finish what you started, my love."
"Oh, do I?" His hands went down as he stepped further, climbing on the bed and straddling his hips. "Do you want me to shave everything?"
"Just not my eyebrows." He smiled, kissing his chin and putting his hands on his hips.
"I will try to not go that high." With that he started to shave the rest of his moustache and the beard that was growing up. Nie Mingjue let his face be manoeuvred around as his husband shaved him as he did many times in the past when he was too sleepy to do it himself. "There, all done." He smiled, kissing both his cheeks and the tip of his nose. "So, no more pranks?"
"Thank god, no. No more pranks." Nie Mingjue laughed, hugging his waist before looking at his reflection on the mirror and smiling. "I liked it. It has been a long time since I have seen myself without it."
"I know." And as an afterthought he added. "I like it too. It makes you look younger." He sat down at his ankles, analysing his new look. "Can I say something?"
"Of course, my heart."
"I loved the acrylic nails." He burst out in laughter, throwing his head back as his arms surrounded his neck. They laughed for a good while and all Nie Mingjue could think was that he wouldn't treat that over anything in the whole world. All because of those damned pranks they pulled on each other.