#14280

[chocolatetrout]

[everymobbu]

[chocolatetrout]

Am I actually feeling okay today or is my seratonin machine lying again?

[chocolatetrout]

Got new glasses and saw some cool plants!

[chocolatetrout]

Tell me I'm handsome

[chocolatetrout]

Yesterday, I narrowly dodged explaining to my mother who Robert from Dream Daddy was, and why he was my phone background.

[chocolatetrout]

Change can be good, but it can also be for the worse. Sitting in your funny little chair, at your funny little table, eating your slightly overcooked whatever. Another nameless day goes by and you have done nothing. You moved to this city thinking you would change, be different. Make all the right decisions that you see on TV and movies where the main character spans a beautiful redemption arc. You sit there and you think, “damn, I really need to wash the sheets tonight”. You don’t wash the sheets, do you? You sit there in your stink and think about how much better things were years ago. Not letting the creeping worm travel too close your cerebrum because the only thing worse than what’s happening now is what could be happening. You fix the shingles on your roof while the rest of the house burns to the ground.

Just be sure the change you make will be for better or worse. Or else you’re gonna sit there at the dinner table and think about brain-worms.

[chocolatetrout]

Personal update.

So I live in Connecticut now. I think I’ve come a long way since a year ago. I am still not doing great overall. I still miss talking to people who I should not be.

But we take life in strides, right? Growth and healing isn’t linear.

I quit drinking so much. It helps save money and I feel better.

I still think about you from time to time. More often recently which is at best, not great. I know you don’t care about me, but I want you to be doing okay. Maybe one day we will talk again. I really hope we do. I miss you a lot.