Over the past couple of months I have really been on a spiritual journey. I had a deep longing and desire in my heart to grow closer to the Lord. I was saved when I was eight and have served God most of that time. I, of course, had a couple of teenage years where I had a decline only to realize how stupid that was and come running back to the Lord. I have been blessed that God has always had such a strong presence in my life and my heart. God has shielded me from so much because of our relationship. I have been through many, many, many hard times that have driven some others in my situations to drugs, alcohol and all manner of other things. But God has always been there instilling in my spirit forgiveness, love and acceptance. I have really learned throughout sermons and teachings lately the beauty of the statement, "But God."
"But God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believed in Him would not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16
There are so many things that could have happened to you but God....
On this journey I have made new spiritual connections and have been established with new friends and mentors alike that inspire me each day to walk with my Lord. Through these relationships I came to attend a revival a couple of weeks ago. It happened to be a Thursday night and Bishop Webb had been preaching about not confusing your worship of God with worshiping the provision that he provides for you. This was a good word for me as I think most of us do thank God for what he provides and that is not a bad thing unless it distracts us from thanking Him for Himself. As service came to a close a friend approached me and asked me if I could please do her a favor and she would pay me back. I cringed a little and began to be nervous. I will normally do anything, for anybody, at anytime that I can but I knew right at that moment at the money I had in the entire world was $1.75. But I didn't say anything I just waited to see what she had need of. She had prepared a meal for Bishop and there was no ice on campus. Could I please run down to the Dollar General and buy a bag of ice? I would be a $1.62 with tax she said. Relief washed over me and I told her that was perfect because $1.75 was all I had and I was off to the store.
As I pulled up a few minutes before 10:00, which happened to be closing time, I saw that the lock was already on the ice machine. I walked in and there were two people behind the counter. I thanked them for their hard work and let them know that I realize they have had a long day but could they please sell a bag of ice to me. The man looks at me and says that normally he would but the reason it is locked is because the machine is broken and all the ice is melted. I am sad knowing that I will not have the money to purchase the ice any place else.
I return to my car not sure what to do but decide that even on a mission as simple as this that if God called me to do it then he would provide. I pull into a gas station up the street and see that ice there is $2.00 plus tax. I search around my car, the bottom of my purse and even the ground for spare change as I am walking into the store. I could see a lady in her car a little wary of me. I cannot remember a time that I felt this desperate to find a dime on the ground. I proceed in knowing that I do not have enough. There are a few in the line ahead of me with two ladies who work there behind the counter. I wait in the line counting my money over and over. Just then the door opens and a man walks in and says he can take me at his register. I walk to the register with tears beginning to well in my eyes and ask him how much is a bag of ice. He says $2.08 with tax. I count the money one last time prepared to walk away but he has already rang it in and has the drawer open. I look him in the eye and tell him that I really need this bag of ice. Could I please get it and borrow .16 cents from someone at church and bring it back to him? He says, "don't worry about it, the ice is outside." I thank him with a small desperate smile as a tear runs down my cheek and proceed outside for the ice.
I thank God for allowing the man to walk in at just the right time and I thank Him for the man's generosity. I thank Him for helping me to get the bag of ice. I return to the church, drop off the ice and call my husband. I ask him if we have .16 cents there at home. He asks me why and I explain what happened. He says that the man doesn't care about the money and I should just come home but I have something in my heart and I just have to return it. When I pull down the drive there is my sweet husband with 16 cents in his hand. I pull right back out of the driveway and drive the 15 minutes back to the store. When I walk in he is not behind the counter. I ask the workers if he is there and ask what his name is. They say the only man working tonight is named Jerry and he is outside. I walk outside and he is on a cigarette break and is talking to a woman seated in a van. I say his name and he turns to me. As he does I place 16 cents in his hand and thank him for his act of kindness and let him know that if he has need of anything in his life that God is real and invite him to the revival that would be continuing the next night. He says, "you didn't have to worry about it. There is always spare change around to cover little things like that." He asked for directions to the revival. I thanked him again and walked away. As I walked to my car I said aloud to myself, "they probably think I am a crazy person." And the Lord used words from a ladies conference the week before to speak to my heart and say, "God uses crazy faith."
I know the story is long and really doesn't seem like much but I tear up just thinking about it. Why? There are so many things! Over the following days God kept pouring into me about this situation. More and more of the details that I thought were simple began to come alive in living color so vivid before my eyes in this spiritual lesson He wrought for me.
First, of all desperation means the death of all pride. God put me in a situation where I was at the mercy of a complete stranger to help me. How many times have you been the complete stranger? How many times has God sent someone to you that you were supposed to help and you did not due to disobedience. This one hit me hard, it makes my heart bleed. Knowing how hard it was for me to ask for 16 cents worth of help. There are people that are battling things you know not of and due to your disobedience may not have received the help they needed. I prayed for God to open my eyes to these situations. "Give me your eyes Lord," I cried. That feeling of desperation is truly a death to self because you are helpless to do ANYTHING without God. I prayed for this feeling of desperation daily so that I may walk with my Savior in a real and broken way. So that I may always see His glory and not my own.
Second, I realize that we discount the things that God gives us when we think that they are not valuable. All I needed was 16 cents worth of generosity. It was not anything to him but it meant the world to me. It was actually life changing for me. It helped me to set aside pride and serve God no matter how much it hurt, no matter how embarrassing or damaging to my ego. I taught me to step out in faith and talk to strangers about the love of God and invite them to church. I taught me look past all worldly things. If I saw Jerry on the street then I may have judged him on his appearance or the fact he smokes or a slew of other things but I was looking at Jerry with God's eyes and I loved and appreciated his spirit and longed for good things in God for him. He was a complete stranger and all of these emotions were real.
Third, his response when I gave him the money kept going over and over in my mind. See when Harold brought the money out to me there could have been many combinations of coins to reach 16 cents but he brought me a dime and six pennies. As we know from God's word 7 is completion, it is God's perfect and complete number and that was what I would be handing back to Jerry. I prayed over those coins the entire way there. I asked God to help me to know what to say and do when I made contact with him. God brought my mind to Acts 3:6 " Then Peter said silver and gold have I none but such as I have give I thee; in the name of Jesus rise up and walk." KJV. This made my heart leap in my chest because I knew that when I returned these coins to Jerry that I had to opportunity to impart to him not just coins because I had no earthly riches to give but heavenly treasures. Glory to God! As I placed it there he said there is always spare change to cover things like this. Whoo this made my spirit dance! Why? Because to have spare anything you must first have all that you need! Come on now, how many of you have been struggling with the same sins, the same habits, the same hangups that have been keeping you so preoccupied with your own spirituality that you have had no time to help anyone else! Get yourself up and rise up and walk in the purpose that God has called you to! You may not think that your talents, money, or time is valuable but remember your 16 cents worth of sacrifice, your 16 cents worth of faith, your 16 cents worth of time may be all that is needed to change a life! Glory! And if he can do all that with 16 cents imagine what he could do with a prayed up, spirit filled and surrendered Christian! If he can do all that with 16 cents why not give him all we have to work with! Amen.
Keep praising in your poverty because prosperity is coming. Keep praising in your weakness because He is your strength. Keep praising in your bondage because He is your freedom. Keep praising in your broken-heartedness because He will make you whole. Every word God ever spoke was true. He has not forgotten you. Be encouraged today and never ever discount your 16 cents worth.
