Sometimes you have to wonder how dispatch codes things and if maybe they should stray off the flow chart from time to time. Here's two that shows what I mean.
How's a 17B and 3D sound?
CW: Mentions of blood, alcohol and allusion to intimacy.
17B01 - Falls, Non-Emergency Response, POSSIBLY dangerous body area
Get a call out to a 17Bravo while I was progressing to senior. Notes didn't make much sense, but we were dispatched with FD so we went routine traffic (this was when the county still went emergency to Bravos). Notes say something about a 40yo male fell onto his chest. He was drunk, too, but that doesn't explain why someone would call. No further details or nothing. We roll up on scene to find the man being wrapped up with OLEAS bandages and blood all around him and on him. Turns out that he had too much to drink when he tripped and fell onto his chest... onto a piece of scrap metal that damn near bisected him, I don't know how he was still kicking and talking when we got to him. Loaded him into the ambulance and I was tasked with driving like a bat out of hell to the hospital because I was still a baby medic at the time. Come to find later that the guy was relatively stable and talking all the way there. He politely waited till we got to the hospital and transferred care before he started crashing.
I don't remember his outcome.
How was THIS a bravo?
3D03 - Animal bite, Emergency Response, Dangerous area
Got called out for a 30yo female stating that her "bitch bit me on the neck." She hung up and didn't answer on call back so of course we get started with PD (police) and FD (fire) and AC (animal control). There was a lot of things I was imagining on the way to this call, but I forgot that sometimes the word "bitch" refers to a person, not a female dog. The "female dog" in question was a 20-something goth chick with blood all in her mouth shying away from her girl friend that looked old enough to be her mother. This delta level animal call turned into a domestic dispute. Fire couldn't've cleared faster, thankfully PD stayed. I bandaged the older one's neck - barely pin pricks, she's fine - while the goth was giving the run down to the cops. Turns out they were having an intimate moment and the goth got too into it and started, and I quote, "feeding from her neck, but I didn't mean to, I just hadn't eaten in a couple days." The older woman - who was unfortunately my patient - decided to start an argument with the goth. Right in front of the police, no less.
I got a refusal from her before things escalated and took off.
Hope the goth found someone else to "feed on" by now.