I loved your assessment of the 1D men in bed! Very accurate! What do you think each one would be like to date?
Zayn. Always cancelling dates or being late because he fell asleep. Expects you to cook his favourite dishes. Likes to call you at 2am and ask you to come over for sex. He can't come to you because he's too wasted.
Slobs around and rewears the same paint splattered jeans but expects you to dress sexily. Thinks of himself as a sex god and likes to try different sex positions but often gives up on them because he hasn't got much physical strength or stamina.
A creature of habit so you end up going to the same bars and restaurants again and again, when he agrees to go out at all. Very tricky to extract from his routines to go on holiday and panics if he's not in a private jet because he can't smoke. Doesn't like many vacations but will occasionally treat you to somewhere exotic like Fiji or Bora Bora.
Has an evasive, elusive side and you wonder about all those late nights at the studio. When he answered the phone, you heard a girl's voice in the background.
Louis. Similar to Zayn in that he likes what he likes and is reluctant to try anything new or fit in with what you want to do. So ping pong ball bars, non league football, the odd casino, club, music festival and regular pub lunches it is. Forget fancy restaurants as he will always prefer Mcdonald's or a pizza.
If you want a couples holiday you'll need to pester him and he'll set you difficult goals such as 'find somewhere I've never been'. You suggest Antigua and he hands over 50k. Generous with his money and loyal. You don't worry about him being unfaithful but you wish he'd get down on one knee - it's been eight years!
He likes snuggling on the sofa for TV marathons with you and the dogs but it has to be his choice of programme and he's very scornful and bitchy about some of the stuff you like to do, e.g. watching Love Island and reading novels.
You do need to be a smoker or life with Louis would be toxic. He frequently gripes and moans about his music career and how he feels the other 1ds are doing much better, so be prepared for a lot of ego stroking.
Liam. He fancies himself as Gatsby and you can expect to attend lots of parties, premieres and other red carpet events. He'll want you to dress up and take lots of couples photos and pose for the paps. He's insecure and needs constant praise and reassurance. He's also forgetful and disorganised so you need to make sure he gets to where he needs to be on time.
Likes prestige vacations to places like the Maldives and Dubai, so you won't have problems getting him on a plane.
Very talkative, so much so that he gives you a headache, and isn't a good listener. Hates being alone and will plead with you not to leave him to his own devices even for one evening. You don't quite trust him because you once caught him dming girls on Instagram.
Niall Horan. Girl, I hope you like your alcohol because Niall's life revolves around it. On his ideal day, you'll go out to lunch and share a few bottles of wine, then come home for sex and a sleep. Hit the bars and another restaurant in the evening where he'll sink 15 pints and then move on to liquor. You'll need to be an expert with hangover cures and keep a packet of Solpadeine Max in your bag.
Forget films, theatre, or anywhere where he can't drink. He spends a lot of time watching sport on TV and expects you to take up his interests, such as golf. Better pray you have a fast metabolism as we all know Niall loves to eat, both gourmet meals and fast food.
Is there room for you AND Niall's ego in the relationship? He won't accept any criticism and is always telling you about how many records 1d sold, how many people they played to, and lying about playing to 'packed arenas' on his own tour. He likes his mates and will often go out drinking with them rather than plan something with you.
He'll agree to holidays for a change of scene but he won't want to see any of the heritage sites and will head to the bars instead.
