You are my everything.-Part 15
I can’t...
"Hey Liam, what was inside of that boxes downstairs?" he heard Liam let out a long breath.
"It doesn't matter anymore" Zayn was sure whatever was inside those boxes was important, but Liam clearly didn't wanted to talk about it.
"Okay" he whispered "I love you all, with all my heart"
"I love you all too" said the other four at the same time "I love you baby" whispered to themselves four of the boys before letting exhaustion take over them.
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The next morning Liam woke up to the sound of an annoying alarm. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a full head of curly hair in his face. Harry began stirring in his sleep, so Liam enjoying too much his time with him tried to reach for the phone so he could turn off the alarm before waking Harry up.
"What time is it?" Liam heard Harry's raspy voice and curse to himself for allowing Harry to wake up screwing his perfect moment.
"It's 8:00. Don't worry babes is still early"
"Where are the others?" Harry said realizing they were alone in bed.
"I don't know, went to eat breakfast or something" he answered pulling Harry closer to him.
"I have to shower Liam." Harry said, but didn't really made a move.
"Can't we stay longer, please..."
"Fifteen more minutes, but that's it. I don't want to be late to the appointment, and I still want to shower and eat something."
"Appointment, what appointment?" Liam was surprised, nobody mentioned an appointment for anything yesterday.
"I booked an appointment to get the abortion today at ten"
"Today?!" Liam raised his voice, but it wasn't out of anger, more of surprise. Of course with everything going on Harry took it the wrong way.
"I thought you had said yesterday that you would support me, that it was my decision." Harry got mad as he took Liam's arms of him.
"And I meant it. I'm just surprised, it's so sudden. I swear I'm not mad or anything, but please understand. I just got here yesterday, and I just found out about you getting rid of the baby a few hours ago, and knowing that the baby is going in less than two hours just shocked me. Don't make me feel worse than I already feel" Liam was begging with his eyes at Harry, not wanting him to be sadder and angrier that he already was with all of them.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Harry said shaking his head a Liam could see a tear dipping down his cheek before Harry threw himself into Liam's chest hugging him strongly "I'm sorry, I know is still early in the pregnancy, but I swear it's not my fault I'm over reacting, It's the hormones fault"
"Hey, it's okay, I get it. Don't get upset" he said taking Harry's chin so he could look a him in the eyes "Why don't you go shower, while I go see what the boys are up to. I'll make you breakfast okay? I'll shower while you eat"
"Yeah, and I'm really sorry. I'll try not to do it again" Harry said kissing Liam.
"Don't apologize love. And please don't cry anymore, I hate when any of you cry." he said drying Harry's tears "Now please give me a smile"
"You also get a kiss" Harry smiled and kissed Liam before going to the bathroom to shower.
Liam smiled all the time until Harry closed the door behind him, his expression saddening the moment he heard the door being closed. The weight of everything downed on him, he suddenly got angry, not at Harry, but himself. He was sure, completely sure that if he never had left or gotten back sooner non of this would have happened.
If he hadn't left, Louis and Zayn would have stayed, and if they hadn't, he wouldn't have let them get very far. If he had come back as soon as he realized his mistake, Harry wouldn't have felt so bad, he wouldn't have done that. But no, one stupid onesie had made him stayed. Well, it wasn't a stupid onesie, it was a beautiful onesie to be honest. But one onesie turned into two, then they were 10, and when he last realized, he was delaying his stay for him to be able to buy more stuff that caught his attention.
He didn't regret buying the stuff, he felt something every time he bought something, every time he imagined his baby wearing one of the things he bought he felt warm spreading in his chest. But now it just made him sad, knowing they wouldn't be for his baby. At least they could donate them and make someones life easier. It's the least they could do.
With that thought Liam made his way down stairs to eat and see what his boyfriends were doing, but as soon as he stepped into the living room he stopped dead in his tracks, surprised at the sight in front of him. All the boxes he had brought with him were opened, all of the onesies were scattered in the couch. Each of his boyfriends were holding a thing he brought. He could see Niall holding the 'Kiss me I'm a wee bit Irish' and Louis the doncaster onesie while Zayn was staring at the carseat with the rainbow bear he had strapped on it, it worked both as a gift and as practice so he could learn how to strap a baby.
"You shouldn't have opened that" Liam said, not feeling mad at all, but he knew that would hurt them. He then saw the first onesie he had seen, and took it in his hands, making him feel bad, because that onesie was especial for him.
"I'm sorry, we couldn't sleep, and I was really curious." Niall said pulling the onesie to his chest "we really shouldn't have done that.
"Is this why you didn't come sooner?" Zayn said taking his eyes from the carseat, but he had already unstrapped the bear and was holding it close to his chest.
"Yes" Liam didn't want to lie to his boyfriends "Look, the truth is I wanted to came back way before, but I didn't wanted to come back still nervous or mad, so I went to buy an ice-cream to cool down and relax a little, but I saw this onesie in the store, and I just had to buy it. As the days went on I stayed a little longer because I found more stuff, and at the end I just stayed longer because I started to plan the whole nursery, and time just flew. Before I realized it, two weeks had already passed, and as soon as I noticed I came back"
"This is so beautiful, just thank you. I know it probably doesn't matter anymore, but it was a nice gesture, so thank you, really" Louis said going to hug Liam, but keeping the onesie with him. Niall and Louis followed them, each of them keeping the things in their hands.
"What's going on in here?" they were so into their hug that they just didn't noticed Harry coming into the leaving room. All the boys quickly shoved the things behind their backs, and Liam in his sweatshirt pockets.
"Nothing" Niall said way to fast and sounding to nervous.
"I don't believe you, and not just because Niall is a terrible liar, but there's baby's clothes all aver the couch and a car seat" Harry said looking between confused an annoyed "I promise Liam that I would try not to overreact to stuff, more so if I don't know the explanation. And I don't know about you, but if you came into a living room full of baby clothes, stuffed animals and all that, I would think it's a last useless attempt at trying to change my opinion. But please, explain yourself, make me realize my mistake." of course Harry was going to take it the wrong way, and it was understandable, they had to admit, it did look like a desperate attempt to change Harry's mind.
"It's really not what you're thinking about" Liam was te first to talk
"Remember all the boxes Liam had yesterday with him" Niall said as he pulled the onesie for Harry to see.
"We got curious, I mean, Liam left with nothing" Louis said pulling the onesie out too.
"We figured, this was the reason Liam didn't came here the second he realized his mistake. Got a little excited shopping I guess" Zayn said as he hugged the bear to his chest again.
"Oh" Well, he had been wrong, but it really wasn't his fault. "Sorry"
"It's okay, why don't you guys go to eat some breakfast while I shower and we can all go"
"Sure, let's go" Harry wanted to get this over with as fast as he could, it was all getting too overwhelming.
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Liam was fast to shower and change, putting the same sweatshirt as before. He was eating with his boyfriends fast, but none of them looked like they were really hungry, except for Harry maybe.
"I'm going to the living room, I'm not hungry anymore" Niall said getting up from his place.
"I'm gonna follow him" Louis said going behind Niall
Zayn and Liam weren't really hungry really, but they didn't wanted to leave Harry behind. After they finished they went to the living room so they all could leave. They found Niall and Louis hugging on the couch.
"We're going guys, we don't want to be late" Harry said as both boys pulled apart, both with red eyes.
"Yeah, sure" both said at the same time.
Just as they were making their way out, Niall stopped dead in his tracks and turned back to look at the onesie he had been holding, the one that Liam had obviously bought for him.
"I can't" he whispered "I can't go" he said running back so he could hold the onesie close to his heart "You know I support you a hundred percent Harry, but I just can't do it. It hurts too much, this is way too much for me. I'm trying, I swear, but I can't go. Please don't be mad, please understand, I'm sorry but this is way too much for me" Niall clearly wanted to go to support Harry, but he couldn't take all of this. Harry understood that it was painful enough as it was, but making him go was like putting salt on a injurie.
"I can't either" Louis said taking his own onesie "I'm sorry" that was all he could say, it was obvious the lump in the throat prevent him from saying more.
"It's okay, don't worry. Please don't cry" Harry said taking both men in his arms "You don't have to go, I get that it hurts. Thank you for understanding. I love you both so much" He kissed both their foreheads. He didn't say anything more, just took his arms off them and went to the door. Both Louis and Niall clung to each other, sobbing together, with the onesies between them. Liam and Zayn let their eyes linger on them for just a moment before following Harry.
The drive to the clinic was silent, none of them wanted to say a word. Zayn drove, Harry in the sit next to him and Liam in the back sit. They got there and Zayn found a parking spot. Harry wasted no time in getting out of the car, Liam was about to get out when he noticed Zayn with both hands and his head supported on the wheel.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I tried Liam but I can't. The boys were right, this is way to much. Please tell Harry I'm sorry, I can't handle this. I don't want to have a break down there" He said not really crying, but his eyes were red and glossy.
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll understand" Liam said pecking him on the lips and giving him a reassuring smile before exiting the car, where Harry was already waiting for them.
"What's taking you both so long?"
"Zayn doesn't think he can do it. He said he's very sorry" Harry only nodded in understanding.
They got into the clinic, and approached the lady in the waiting room.
"Hey, I booked an appointment at 10:00 with doctor Mills."
"Sure, what's your name" the lady said not taking his eyes from the monitor for even a second.
"Harry Styles"
"Okay, I'll call you in a few minutes, the doctor is with a patient right now"
"Thanks"
Harry went to sit next to Liam, taking his hand in his. Harry could tell Liam was nervous, his hands were clammy and sweaty. He turned to look at him giving him a smile in hopes to calm him a little, Liam did return the smile, but it didn't seem like it helped to much. Harry of course didn't took it personal. They weren't waiting for long, holding hands the whole time.
"Harry Styles," called a girl, who probably worked there. Liam froze in his place for a second, but quickly stand up just as Harry so the girl could notice them "follow me please". They followed her into a room where the procedure was probably going to take place. All the stuff that were normally in a doctors office were there along with an ultrasound machine and a bed with stirrups. Doctor Mills was sitting behind his desk, checking something on her computer. "Doctor Mills, your patient is here"
"Of course Melissa, thank you" Doctor Mills said standing up to shake both mens hands as the girl left the room. "So Harry, I can see you are way better than before. I'm just going to check on your weight and pressure before we can proceed. I also have to make an ultrasound so we can make sure that everything is in order and we can do everything safety." She finish giving both of them a reassuring smile. She knew how hard this could be, even if you do it voluntarily, so she tried to do everything as easy as she could to all her patients.
Harry just nodded so the doctor took his weight and pressure and weight confirming that everything was fine with her patient. Liam was sitting the whole time, sending messages to all his worried boyfriends. Harry took a seat once again so the doctor could explain to him everything that was going to happen. Before she could proceed to do the ultrasound.
"Where's your restroom? I really need to use one right now" Liam asked, and Harry really noticed him for the first time. He was sweaty and looked sick. He probably really needed to escape in that moment, he really didn't wanted to hear everything. He would be with Harry at all times, but he was sure that if he heard everything the doctor was going to say, he was going to be sick all over the floor.
"Sure, just down the hall, all the way back to the right" The doctor was quick to answer. Liam was fast to leave, not before taking of his sweatshirt, leaving it on the chair.
The doctor began to explain everything to Harry, but something made Harry get distracted. Something felt out of Liam's sweatshirt, so Harry picked it up, and unfolded it on his lap. It was a cute white onesie, with a lion on it and the phrase 'I love my daddies' with a heart instead of the word love. It was beautiful, and Harry got so caught up in it's cuteness that he completely blocked the words the doctor was telling.
"So everything is alright?" she said making Harry look up again.
"What?" he said a little confused "Oh, yeah, that's okay"
"Okay, so we just need to make the ultrasound, let me get the machine ready and you can hop on the bed."
Harry did as he was told, not letting the onesie go for one second, just making it a tight ball and keeping it on his hand.
"Okay, let's do this" the doctor said grabbing the jelly.
"Can we wait, I wan't my boyfriend to be with me" Harry asked nicely. The doctor smiled and nodded. They didn't waited for long, Liam got back just one minute later looking way better, not exactly fine, but better.
"Did I miss the ultrasound?" he said sounding sad
"No, Harry said he wanted to do it with you"
"Thanks babe" Liam said approaching the bed, taking one of Harry's hand in his and kissing his knuckles.
The doctor lifted Harry's shirt up and squirted some of the blue jell on his stomach before putting the wand thingy on Harry's stomach and moving it looking for the baby.
"Okay, there it is" Both of the locked their eyes on the screen, Liam feeling bad because this was going to be the last time he was going to see his son or daughter. he felt like crying, but he promised himself he would try to make things easier for Harry.
Harry on the other hand felt like breaking in that moment. All at once, he remember how happy he felt the first time he saw his baby. He remembered the heartbreak he felt when his boyfriends left, how depressed he was when they weren't with him, the sadness in Niall's eyes when he told him he wanted an abortion, and How careful Niall had been with him. Then all the relief he felt as each of his boyfriends got back, each heartbroken expression he could see when they found out about the abortion. Then earlier today, how devastated their faces were when they found the stuff Liam had bought. God, Liam had gotten so exited he had bought tons of stuff, and if he went down with this, they would be no use. Suddenly the onesie he was holding in one hand felt like it weighed far more than it should, and his emotions came crashing down on him, letting out a strong sob as he began to cry, making Liam and doctor Mills turn worried to him.
"I can't do it" was all he could say before passing out.










