#2.25.2020

[poshtash]

One persons opinion of you does not make it fact

Me 

[poshtash]

Turn it Off!!

I remember watching my new it show, Vampire Diaries and thinking, how cool it would be if we could just turn off our emotions. 

As a vampire, you can literally just turn the switch off. 

I seem to be a bottomless pit of emotions since being involved with my sons father. I feel like every argument that is had, sends me into a spiral of emotions. Come to think of it, ever since my relationship with my ex F, it seems like I always end up with me shedding a lot of tears when things aren’t good. When did I become this individual, or better yet the question is, have I always been like this? I want to turn it off.  

Even after my battle with postpartum depression, I thought I will never cry as much as I did then, like man was I a BIG time baller- not the good kind. 

Today it dawned on me, trying to keep your mental health in check is an everyday battle. Consider, you're everyday journey as a walk on a continued hilly trail, there will be flat surfaces where walking is pretty smooth but when those hills come and you feel the pain, just remember it won’t always feel like this.

So unfortunately, we can’t turn it off but we can remember that the struggle you may experience now, it will be different once you hit a flat plain and although you will remember how hard it was climbing that hill, your journey will continue. 

In addition, I’m not sure there is a way to prep for the upcoming hills, because they are sometimes random and uncontrollable. Just remember never to quit, because life is beautiful & for all the bad moments, there are good ones waiting right around the corner.