#2022 reflections

[sunisglowing]

🕰 2022 REFLECTIONS 🕰

1. biggest achievement

2. biggest challenge

3. how did you face the challenge and what did you learn from it

4. favorite food of the year

5. who and inspired you the most

6. something you became good at

7. something you failed at

8. favorite memory

9. three words to describe 2022

10. goals/wishes for next year

[mycatismyfriend]

Reflecting on 2022

I didn't get COVID. (I still haven't got covid). I got a promotion from one amazing job, to an extra amazing job. I got noticed by Brandon Rogers 2-3 times. I got my dream apartment and am living on my own. I made some fucking fantastic fanvids. I got amazing feedback in my professional life. I made some fucking great GIFS. I am making more money than I could ever have dreamed.

But.

I am struggling in my physical health. I am working on it, and it's slow, but it's going to be slower progress than I like. My parents moved away. I realised the online relationships you treasure are sometimes more important to you than they are to the reciprocating party. I got really sick. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I called 000 once. I spent 3 weeks in my apartment as an outpatient with calls from the local hospital before I was well enough to go in physically.

I called the suicide hotline during this time +20 times. I made myself so upset I threw up at least 11 times. My body was so distraught and stressed and tired, that what went in, went out within 20 mins. One time I didn't shower for 4 days. A further one day, I spent half of it in the shower, the water running on and off for hours at a time. I turned to things and substances I should not have. I did things I regret to this day. This was my reality.

In 2022, I nearly died.

But then, through late November/December, I THRIVED. Because once you get that low, and finally recover, there is only up.

In early December I took down a sticky note that said "You will be ok" on my fucking wall that I relied on, because I didn't need to remind myself anymore. In December, I got my first new pay cheque for my new job and I cried. I became more resilient, I became a better person. Through what I dealt with and those experiences, I came to accept the things I can't control and move on. I really fucking nailed November/December.

GOD I am SO lucky. I am so lucky and grateful and I am here in my own apartment, earning amazing money, meeting and talking to some amazing people and just living my life and making a difference and FUCK I am SO LUCKY.

After everything I went through, and after everything that 1-2 people tried to accuse me of being, or got wrong about me, it really did end up all out ok for me. That has to mean something?

2023, I GOT YOU BABE.

[heyjupiter]

Wisdom from the Trenches of 2022

Have you taken the time to reflect on 2022? What came up for you? How will you integrate what you've learned into this new year? 

[blueberry-lemon]

My 2022

I see a lot of people writing posts or threads about things they did in 2022. I don't usually do this sort of thing for a few reasons. One is that I'm aware that it can be a bit pretentious and a bit frustrating for others to read if they had a really bad year. For that reason, consider this a soft content warning for "yet another post reflecting on 2022." The other reason is that I don't think I've accomplished anything worth reflecting about, and am quite disappointed in myself and my 2022!

But...maybe that self-conscious feeling is exactly why I should force myself to write this.

A few things I accomplished in 2022:

I wrote some stuff

I put up the final chapter of my Sonic fanfic [although not the epilogue yet, sorry readers!] titled "Have You Heard From Sonic Lately?" Of all things I did this year, this is probably one of the things I'm most proud of? I think I'm decent at writing these characters and I like playing in this world in a mostly-canonical way, following guidelines painted by the games, the IDW comics, and ironically now Sonic Prime.

I put up Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of Soul Symphony: Abandoned Encore. SS:AE is prose sequel story to my 2010-2015 webcomic Soul Symphony. These characters and this story mean a lot to me, but I left them behind as relics as 2015. I decided that the year of my 10-year high school reunion would be a fitting time to look back on these characters.

Side note: The comments I receive on Ao3 are so nice??? They're so heartwarming, they make my day. Something about someone enjoying my writing is 100x more satisfying than someone enjoying a drawing I did, and the way people express their feedback is really meaningful. I wanna cry every time. Thank you to everyone who has read my stuff.

I put out two meaty pieces: a review of Cam Marshall's comic "Matchmaker", and my year-end reflection titled "I Forgot How To Climb The Mountain."

I've wrote a few mini blog posts scattered across Cohost, Tumblr, and Patreon, which you can find in the #blogofkylelab tag.

Behind the scenes, I've continued my work as a Writer working on Rhythm Doctor as part of 7th Beat Games.

Art and Game Dev

I...barely drew anything, so that was kind of a disappointment. But the few things I did draw I mostly liked! The very little time/energy I have for drawing these past few years is always a tough pill to swallow, but I'm glad that when I DO make time for it, it is still pretty fun.

I've continued working on Rhythm Doctor and A Dance of Fire and Ice as a part of 7th Beat Games. We put out some cool collab levels.

I helped launch ADOFAI's paid DLC expansion, Neo Cosmos! Directed by TaroNuke, it's a really cool expansion with its own identity and I love the new mechanics and focus on character/narrative.

I worked on Squeak N' Seek, a short gamejam project we made as a birthday present for Giacomo, the Lead Programmer at 7th Beat Games.

Other Stuff

I've been running @IndieGamesOfCohost for a few months now! Shares of indie game posts on Cohost, posts spotlighting new releases of lesser-known titles, and a series of Indie Interviews with fellow gamedevs. This has been very satisfying for me, and I hope I can keep the momentum going in 2023.

I'm forcing myself to write these things down to convince myself that I accomplished something, because for the past few years I haven't been able to shake the feeling that "I haven't accomplished anything." I miss the days where I drew quite often, especially between 2015 and 2018, and I made illustrations that I still cherish to this day. I feel like a "shell" of my younger self still, which is a ridiculous thing to say. Someday, I'll find my way back to a place where I'm satisfied with my output.

I hope your 2022 was bearable! Let's all work together in the new year.

[beth-is-rainpaint]

Inspired by this post, here, have some fanfic reflections from 2022:

How many words have you written this year?

I published 59,328 words on Ao3. WOW. That’s almost 5,000 words a month. And that doesn’t include all the notes I’ve made on future chapters of “What They Were Fighting For.”

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Obviously I’m still loving writing Fitzsimmons, but I wrote a little background Dousy this year too. It turned out really cute and really soft, and I had a lot of fun with it.

What work was the quickest to write?

I wrote “Find Ourselves in the Winter Snow” in 10 days. (I guess I’ll never replicate what I did with “to carry love, to carry children of our own” or “I see my future in your eyes,” both of which I wrote in a single evening -_-)

What work took you the longest to write?

I guess technically the Daisy chapter. I started writing it in fall 2021 but didn’t finish it until August 2022.

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

*glares at “What They Were Fighting For”* No I’m just kidding I still love that fic. I want to finish it in 2023 though!! And then I hope to never post a WIP multichapter fic ever again!

Your favorite character to write this year?

I wrote from Deke’s point of view for the first time this year, and it was SO fun. I also wrote more of Mack this year and I like how it turned out.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

COULSON?! Writing that chapter was so difficult and I don’t know why. Once I figured out his voice, though, it went great.

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

298!

Did you receive any gifts this year?

I did! “Greetings From Lake Ontario” by @cherrylimeade​, “this is right where it begins” by @bobbiamorse​, and “Alya’s First . . Everything” by @ellsey​!

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I continue to be surprised when a character (mainly Jemma) takes over and essentially tells me, “Actually, here’s how this scene/dialogue is going to go.” I’d never had that experience before I started writing AoS fic.