Dan Savage has always advocated for having everyone’s nudes out in public. And recently, following Jeff Bezo’s medium post about The National Enquirer, Dan suggested that there be one day every year -- call it a Bezos day -- were we all release our nudes on to the internet. The idea being that once it’s out there, once everyone’s is out there, there’s nothing left to blackmail someone with.
On a similar vein, I came across this question while doing research for Dualogue: Would the world be a better place if everyone could read everyone else’s thoughts?
I guess the allusion being that if everyone could read everyone else’s mind, then no one would be able to lie, and as a result, there wouldn’t be any more instances of cheating and manipulation, and thus -- better world.
Because we live in a world infinite* resources but limited time, we are always running sorting algorithms in our heads. Always deciding what’s important and what’s not, and arranging things in our lives in order of priority.
There’s an old joke about someone telling an economist that they bought a house they can’t afford, which boggled the economist because if they can’t afford it, they wouldn’t be able to buy it. It was probably a bad decision for them to buy it. It probably put them in debt. But as long as they actually have it, afford has nothing to do with it.
The person who says they want to lose weight but are chowing down on cake and ice-cream. The person who says they care about the social safety net but keep their money in off-shore tax havens. The person who wants to write more, read more books, watch more films, but instead spends all their time on social media. We are always signalling our true wants/needs through our actions.
Somehow, along the way, “not a priority” became a dirty word. If you tell someone -- I want to come out to the party with you, but I can’t because of insert-reason-here, what you’re essentially saying is that I can’t come to the party because it’s currently not a priority for me. BUT THAT’S FINE!
I mean, I’m not suggesting that you start telling people that spending time with them isn’t a priority -- that’s probably an unkind thing to say -- but the truth is, something is always not a priority. By the definition, something has to not be a priority for something else to be. That’s the nature of things. And chances are, there’s a rational explanation (not to be confused with a good explanation) as to why that thing that you really want to do isn’t a priority for you.
The way to go from not having the thing you want to do as a priority and actually doing what you want to do is not to force it through will power. The way to go about it is to start from where you are. And where you are is not doing the thing. Why is that? There’s almost always a rational reason behind every decision. The cake was made by my friend, and showing support for them is more important than getting to my ideal weight. I grew up poor without a social safety net, so even though I want one now, I don’t trust the government enough to let them take my taxes. Self esteem, self esteem, and self esteem.
Unpack the motivation, and the priority follows. It’s a mindset thing.
Every now and then when I’m on the internet, which is most of the time, I think of the fish essay by Robin Sloan. What does it mean to love something when there are infinite things to like?
We sort, and the things that keep popping up to the top are the things we love.
For what’s worth, I don’t think the world will necessarily be a better place if everyone could read everyone else’s mind. I think we’ll just drop lies as a data point from our sorting algorithm and just look for other ways to disregard people. It’s the same with the nudes, we’ll just find other things to make taboo, and then blackmail people with those things.
Basically, I think we are lazy. Our brains are lazy. I hates change and is always looking for short cuts. That’s why things always take way longer than they should before they change. Whether it’s doctors refusing to wash their hands after surgery or drivers refusing to wear seat belts, we always prefer whatever it is we are used to, even if that thing sucks.
That’s why I haven’t been reading as many books as I want to. That’s why I haven’t written than novel I’ve been talking about. And that’s certain why I still haven’t started training for that marathon.
*I know resources aren’t actually infinite. But relative to the time any one human can exist on this planet, they are.