Oct 9, 2018
i am on hold. i am immobile. i am frozen. all of these are so cliche. i feel i have hit a wall, and now i have melded into that goddamn wall. i AM the wall. non-moving. non-feeling. non-desiring. but aching. aching to break free and breathe again. to know and remember what it is like to desire, again. i've done it before. i've been happy before. i've been FREE before. but what the hell happened.
an anchor is tied around my chest. not enough to cut off my breath or to kill me, no. i'm still alive. but it's holding me back from thriving. from flourishing.