Kavanah & Tefillah - When Davening Isn’t Meaningful
Although the vast majority of kiruv is dedicated to Jews who aren’t religious, sometimes frum Jews need kiruv too. There are a number of ways in which even someone who was raised very religious might struggle to connect with Hashem, and one of these struggles which I’ve been informed of time and time again is the struggle to make meaning out of davening. Therefore, if you find yourself struggling with davening, this is the article for you. Whether you’re newly religious or frum from birth, these tips for making meaning out of davening can seriously transform your prayer experience!
Daven in your native language! I absolutely could not stress this tip enough. So many Jews - even extremely frum Jews who have been davening since age 3 - have come up to me with this same issue of feeling disconnected to the prayers. Time and time again, as they describe the issue to me, I realize that they quite literally do not understand the words they are davening! They were never taught the translations into their native language of the Hebrew prayers! The number one tip for meaningful davening is to actually understand what it is that you’re saying. If this is a problem because you don’t speak the Hebrew language you daven in, invest in a bilingual siddur or daven in English. There is no virtue to be found in reciting prayers that you don’t understand if doing so is meaningless to you.
Daven from the heart. Similar to my other point, if there is something about the prescribed davening that makes it difficult for you to relate to, there is no shame in using your own words to speak to Hashem instead. In many liberal Jewish congregations, when it is time to say the Amidah, congregants are given the option to “pray along with the text or with whatever comes to your heart”, and this is something that even extremely frum Jews can take inspiration from. If you struggle with the formal language of davening or feel like some of the prayers just don’t resonate with you, take the time to speak personally to Hashem instead with whatever is on your heart. It can also be a good practice to take some time out of your day just to talk to Hashem, especially in addition to davening, and share your thoughts and feelings with Him without the rigidity of a time-bound service. However you choose to do it, don’t be afraid to personalize your davening experience. Your relationship with Hashem is more important than perfectly fulfilling a specific time-bound mitzvah.
Go at your own pace. Sometimes, if you daven every day without making meaning out of it, it becomes more like an obligation than a clear path towards a relationship with Hashem, especially if you end up having to rush through the davening. Next time your davening feels like an obligation, slow down a little, take a deep breath, and try to truly understand what it is that you are reciting. If this isn’t possible for you, consider making more time available for davening so you don’t feel rushed. All of this is to say that davening can never be meaningful unless you truly understand what it is that you’re trying to say to Hashem and why you’re saying it.
As Jews, it’s important to fulfill time-bound mitzvot, but it’s even more important to do them in a way which will positively impact our future relationship with Hashem. Even if you daven 3 times a day, if your davening is meaningless to you, it won’t help you feel connected to Hashem, which is just as important as the mitzvah of davening itself. With the tips listed in this article, you’ll be able to improve your davening in no time, transforming it from a mere obligation into something you’re truly excited about! This is what will help you get even closer to Hashem.
What is the most meaningful part of davening to you? Do you ever struggle to make meaning out of the rest? Which of these tips do you think will be most helpful for you to improve?
A Frum Jew told his rabbi that he doesn’t feel connected to HaShem when davening. His rabbi asked if he wanted to try davening in his native language instead of Hebrew. He said “eh, I’ve complained enough today”.