Apr 4, 2019
March 24, 2019 - Day 278
The library stack grows again.
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from Austria
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Romania
seen from Netherlands
seen from Germany
seen from Poland
seen from Spain
March 24, 2019 - Day 278
The library stack grows again.
There's this kind of apathy but not the one I'm used to, it's like I know what I'm gonna do, I know the plan, I know it'll hurt af, I know it'll cost me a lot, but I also know and find relief in knowing that nothing/no one will change my mind. This certainty is comforting and peaceful, it's good to feel it. I'm no longer playing dice with god and thinking if this happens/didn't happen, I'll do/don't do this. It feels good to have the upper hand. There's this weird kinda melancholic feeling, like I know this is ending and I'm happy about it, I'm not treating things differently, I've been almost here before, I know how it feels like to try to get enough of songs, or this particular thing/one before vanishing away. But I'm not sad about it. I'm not thinking too much about things or people because I know I won't be here, and oh dear, it feels good! This whole thing is giving me a good feeling, like getting ready to see someone you've been literally dying to see. I'm so excited, despite that it kinda freaked me out when I read the effects of it and how much bleeding and pain I'll have, but it's alright, nobody said it was easy, right?
Mood: