Contains: p in v and shower sex… i dunno what else to say
a/n: Soo im finally making a series and tbh this is gonna be all smut no slow burn! Im open to suggestions on what yall want in here<3 I love bladee so had to add his love song…
Even tho roman and you weren’t officially together everyone in your friend group knew there was something going on with you two. So it really wasn’t a secret to anyone in your circle. Internet was suspicious too of yall.
You would sleep at each other’s houses and hook up more than once a week. It was like you lived together. And both of you loved it with no shame.
Roman had woke you up by honking his cars horn outside of your apartment. You walked downstairs and let him in bc ofc you weren’t ready to go anywhere looking like you just woke up. He didn’t seem to mind though. Hands already at your sides and leaning to kiss. You moved back. You hadn’t brushed your teeth yet and didn’t want to kiss him. You knew he wouldn’t mind, he had done it before like everyone other day in the last month. But now you weren’t up for it.
Roman looked at you confused and little sad. He was really needy all the time. He was like a little kitten when you didn’t give him what he wanted. The rest of the day would go whining until you gave in.
And you always did.
You could sense that today was going to be the same. You walked away and let Roman know that you needed to shower, brush your teeth and do your make up before he could take you anywhere.
”mami can’t I help you anyway” ” likeee washing your hair” he grinned while saying that. You shot him a glare and locked the bathroom door leaving him outside. Before hopping into the shower you began to brush your teeth. While brushing you could hear Roman pacing outside of the door. You felt bad. He would be so happy if you let him in the shower with you.
So you decided to open the door after brushing your teeth. He was right outside the door looking like a child who had lost her mother in the crowd. You invited him inside and oh my he was happy.
He was quick to take his clothes off and was now waiting for your turn. You only had a robe on because you usually slept naked. Slowly, agonisingly slowly you started to slid the robe off. Looking at Roman he was almost jumping from excitement. Once you had slid off your robe you stepped into the shower. Roman closely behind you.
You turn the shower on and let your hair get wet. Roman was so close he got wet at the same time.
You slowly bend down to grab your sponge and soap. And started to wash yourself. You glanced at roman who was staring at you mouth open. You giggled at him. Making him get all red and ashamed that he got caught. You turned to face him and looked down to see him fully hard. That made you giggle even harder. You knew Roman was weak for you but didn’t know he was this weak and that made you little proud.
” You told me you would help me ”
”take the shampoo and wash my hair please, then I might do something to you”
He was fast to lather the shampoo on your hair and started massaging it into your hair. He did that twice and put on the conditioner. You put your hair into a bun so the conditioner could do its job. you turned to face roman and laced your lips on his. He grabbed your side with one hand and with the other he slams it against your ass and squishes it softly. You slid your tongue into his mouth and moved closer so you slightly touched his dick with your body. Earning a groan from him. He had watched you naked too long without touching his erection that made him super sensitive. Once you had noticed how sensitive he was you wrapped your hand around him and started to stroke his length slowly. You giggled about how sensitive and how much he was struggling to not cum at this second.
You backed up to the wall, Roman following closely behind. He put his hands on your hips and clasped his lips on yours. The same second he slid his length inside you. The sudden feeling got you off guard and you slipped a desperate moan into his mouth. He wasn’t doing better either, he was even bigger mess. Moaning and whimpering while he thrusted slow but hard. He had his eyes closed feeling like he could cum any second now, but wanting to let you finish first.
Seeing him so desperate made you weak. You sometimes liked to be dominant when he was like this, but now neither of you really were. Both a moaning mess.
He had his hand on your hip so you wouldn’t fall and the other was massaging your tit. If he didn’t have his hand on your hip you would be on the floor. The sensation of him inside of you and his hand on your tit made you lose it. Ones he noticed you coming close he withdrew his hand from your tit and put it on your clit, drawing messy circles on it.
You felt yourself come undone. Pulsing on his dick and making embarrassingly loud moans. The sight of you feeling like this from his dick made Roman lose it. He came the same time. Letting his liquid squirt all over your pussy. Normally you would protest his actions but now you were so weak you couldn’t.
after you both had gave a minute to catch your breath under the shower. You got a towel and stepped out.
” didn’t you have somewhere to take me?”
you grinned at him while he still was looking like a mess. Tho a good looking mess.
warnings: p in v , oral (f receiving) , sough rex , usage of y/n , usage of good girl , hair pulling , slapping , js rough overall...
bg info: you and Roman have been dating for a few years and when it finally reaches your birthday he gives you something that's way more special and intimate than coach,expensive jewelery, and chrome hearts.
roman has the camera pointed at you as you blow out your 21 candles on the cake. you both were sat on the balcony of a airbnb in cali. he cheered as you smiled at the camera.
he put the phone down and kisses you. "happy 21st baby." he told you for the 20th time today. you guys have been everywhere. from shopping to flying then this airbnb.
"its cold lets go back in.." you giggled as he got up and grabbed the cake from your hands. you shut the screen door behind you and walked to where he sat at the couch.
"thank you for making today special Roman." you laid your head on his lap. he hummed as he stroked your hair. "I have one final surprise pretty."
you picked your head up and looked at him in confusion. "what is it?" you questioned. he grinned before getting up and heading for the bedroom.
you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. you waited a bit, deciding if you should follow him or not but you ended up following him. once you opened the door to the bedroom he was no where to be found.
you hesitantly stepped into the room and looked around. "roman?.." you peeked through the bathroom door. once you turned back around, you were pushed onto the bed.
roman stood over you. he didn't have a shirt on and his hair was placed into a messy bun. you let out a nervous laugh as he placed his hands beside you.
he leaned down to hover your neck. you shivered as he breathed "you ready for your last surprise?" he questioned.
“mmhm..” you hummed as he kissed your neck. his hand creeped behind your ear as he kissed up to your jawline.
you took your shirt off, leaving you with only a lacey black bra and short ruffled shorts. he then started to kiss down your body.
he reached under your belly button and stopped. he hooked his pointer finger in your shorts and tugged at them.
you gave him the nod to continue and he tugged them off. “my favorite..” he smiled as he stared at your underwear. they were infact his favorite pair. the pink laced ones with cheetah print.
"mm.. now your getting it good tonight. imma put you to sleep" he laughed. you were honestly confused on what he meant by that but you just let him do his thing.
he pushed your underwear aside and revealed your wet and throbbing clit. he brushed his finger over it, making you twitch slightly. he looked up at you teasingly. "you've been teasing me all day Roman.."
you weren't lying. he teased you all day. "I needed you to be ready baby.." he muttered in a apologizing tone before licking your folds. you whimpered as he entered a finger in you.
his tongue flicked your clit. you moaned out loud and arched your back with pleasure. "you like that hm?" he whispered against you as he put in another finger.
he stretched you out and held your waist. "roman.. im- ngh.. close..~" you managed to get out before he stopped. you let out a defeated noise, the feeling of his fingers not being inside of you anymore made you feel empty.
"don't be like that.." he said lowly as he unbuckled his belt. his jeans fell to the floor and soon his boxers did too. oh god he was hard.. "you see what you do to me y/n?" he grabbed onto your side.
he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed himself in. you gripped the sheets and moaned. "ooh! roman! fuck!" you groaned before his hand shot to your mouth.
"you cant be too loud.." he chuckled before he sped up the pace. mascara was running down your eyes, along with tears. it really was that good.
he hummed before flipping you over while he was still in you. he held your waist with one hand and pulled your hair back with the other. he pounded into you carelessly as you either let out a cry or a moan with each thrust.
he leaned over and kissed your shoulder then your tear streaked cheek. you sobbed out some nonsense but he knew what you were trying to say. "be a good girl and cum for me.." he whispered in your ear.
you nodded and arched your back. he tangled your hair in his fingers and pushed your face down into the blankets. he slapped your ass repeatedly, making sure to leave you bruised.
"fuck! agh! roman!" you yell into the blanket which ended up getting muffled. that knot in your stomach tightend as your nails dug into the pillows.
roman smiled down at you then noticed how your legs were wobbly and growing weak. he chuckled at the sight before turning his attention back to you.
"I'm so close!!" you moan. he pounds into you harder before your legs start shaking and you let out a muffled moan. he rode out your orgasm before pulling out.
he released thick white ropes of cum on your back as you collapsed onto the bed. you panted out of breath as Roman untangled your hair. "you did so good for me mama.." he muttered as he walked to the bathroom.
he came out with a damp towel and got behind you again. he wiped your back and your hole clean and kissed it. it was red and swollen. "lets get you to sleep hm?" he threw the towel into a nearby hamper.
you climbed under the covers and he followed behind you. he spooned you from behind and stroked your hair. not even seconds later, he heard your soft snores. "fast asleep.." he chuckled before dozing off.
by the time the knock at the door came it was already midday , you and Carlos slumped on the couch both still in pyjamas
Carlos had got up first , running to the door and screaming “auntie faye” she was the only person he was familiar with after all . you trailed behind him hand resting on his head before opening the door
He was quick to retreat behind you after he noticed it wasn’t auntie faye after all . “Hey” you smile “hey , brought breakfast ” he lifts the bag in hand “it’s three” you roll your eyes , still quick to peak into the brown bag “ I know you wake up late” you invite him in before wandering to the kitchen , Carlos’s small footsteps trailing quickly behind you
“Carlos be nice , okay?” He nods climbing the stool next to Roman “hey little man” his very first words to his own son. He knows it should be the other way around , he should’ve been there for his first words , his first steps and he was ashamed. Greatly.
You cut Carlos’s pancakes into small triangles before sliding the plastic plate his way
“ hello” Carlos finally chirps up , he doesn’t try and hide his interest in Roman , picking at his pancakes whilst staring directly at him
“I heard it’s your birthday soon , how old are you turning?” He knows , he just wants to hear it from him “four” Carlos says confidently holding up three fingers , you don’t intercept—this is the first interaction Romans having with his son , he needs this
“four? Orr three?” Roman tilts his head playfully “fourrrr” he drags out , three fingers still held up “ this is four” Roman reaches out putting up one of Carlos’s fingers “this is three” he puts it down “fourrr” he drags out yet again finally doing it correctly this time “good job buddy” Roman high fives him , chuckling
You can’t help but smile stupidly
“…so how are you” he asks , carefully of course—he doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable “been holding up” you nod “good , that’s great” he nods quickly
“I’m going to the doctors tomorrow actually”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm” you hum “…you need a ride?.. I could watch Carlos” he speaks , looking down at Carlos who’s completely tuned you guys out devouring his food , cutting his own pancakes already “really? That would be great”
“Yea of course I don’t mind” roman nods , his eyes searching for more of a reaction out of you “thank you so much , you’re a lifesaver”
“ it’s no problem, really …are you not gonna eat?” He furrows his eyebrows slightly, stuffing his mouth “haven’t had that much of an appetite recently ” you sigh , pursing your lips “cmon , just a bit” he pushes it you way “still care about you yknow?”
It’s weird , you felt a sense of familiarity hearing him reassure you , like when you were teenagers and he’d whisper in his ear how much he loved you , like when he’d lay in your hair and speak to you softly
“Just because we ended bad doesn’t mean I don’t wanna see you pull through”
“I didn’t think that” you shake your head , you know how roman is —once he loves someone he doesn’t stop
“Do you play cars?” Carlos finally chirps up , plastic fork clashing against his plate “hell yeah I play cars” Roman nods , smiling where as Carlos’s mouth opens wide before he looks at you “mama….he said a bad word” he raises his small hands to cover his mouth in shock
“Oh no , so now he owes you a dollar?” you gasp as he nods enthusiastically “okay go get your swear jar” you push him forward lightly
“Swear jar” Roman cocks an eyebrow as Carlos is already halfway down the hallway to his room “mhm” you stifle a laugh “Faye made it so he can ‘start the hustle early’ she’s the only person contributing to it anyways”
by the time you finish your sentence Carlos is back holding a plastic jar almost the same size as him “pay up” he hits romans knee “hey , no hitting” you stand behind him combing through his hair with your fingers whilst he shook the jar vigorously towards Roman “fine, fine” he fumbles in his pocket before pulling out a dollar and handing it to Carlos
“Our sons evil” Roman shakes his head “yea , guess who he gets it from”
“Touché”
Eventually, roman does end up running cars on the floor with Carlos whilst you sit on the sofa, hearing laughter and the clash of plastic over the low volume of the tv
It’s new to him , you can tell he doesn’t quite know how to act yet — that he only agreed because he had to
You decided you’d speak to him later and discuss telling Carlos Roman was his father — it’s too soon , he’s too small and it will confuse him
It’s not long until the spot next to you sinks in and Romans making himself comfortable , Carlos resting his head on your side “so …. Any other plans for the week?” He wipes his hands on his jeans
“Not really , just take care of Carlos I guess , you can come over again if you’d like” you rub Carlos’s head “ I’d like that” he nods “yknow Hollis is having this afterparty for his listening party Saturday — I know you’re not really into that kind of stuff but I thought maybe now you’d want to” he rambles on until you interrupt him “—Roman I’ll go , okay?”
“Okay” he lets out a sigh of relief “ I could get Faye to watch him ” you suggest
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Saturday 3rd may 2026
The lights are blinding to say the least , laughter overcrowding you in that hot room — no matter how much you tried , you hated things like this , maybe having a child changed you , but you’d rather be cozied up with Carlos than here
Still— you don’t want to ruin it for Roman — who is behind the dj booth occasionally glancing at you ‘ you okay?’ He mouths to which you nod , taking another sip of your drink in hopes of loosening up
It works —slightly , makes you feel more present , roman came with over to you with a drink in hand and Hollis by his side, both just as gone as eachother . Hollis attempts to catch up with you but just ends up continuously getting distracted and switching topics , which was making it hard for you not to tune him out
You couldn’t help but wish Faye was here , in situations like these—whether you’re drunk or high , she knew exactly how to speak to you , exactly how to treat you , she was the only person that didn’t annoy you
“ you okay?” Roman leans on the wall next to you “ didn’t think you’d be the drinking type now” he speaks into your ear voice barley audible over the loud music “ I’m not , I never drink like this.”
“So why tonight?” He fumbles with the rings on his fingers , eyes still latched onto yours “ guess I’m just bored”
“ don’t even feel anything though” you shake the cup around “ we could go smoke?” He suggests “ yea , that would be great”
As you follow him outside the music drains into a small hum , you’re on a rooftop, it’s made up well, fake grass , beanbags and all
Romans the first to plop down onto the beanbag , you shortly behind him, he fumbles in his pocket pulling out both his lighter and his pre-rolled blunt
“Ladies first” he rotates the blunt your way after lighting it , your hesitant at first — slightly regretting come up here in the first place , but you take it, take a long pull then pass it his way “this feels so weird”
“What does?” He says before inhaling “not being responsible” you lean back “ just means it’s unfamiliar , let someone else take care of you for once”
“You’re still young yknow , 22 ain’t nothing , you put too much stress on yourself” he passes the blunt your way , voice softer than usual “ easy for you to say when you haven’t had any responsibilities” you huff “don’t do that.” Roman shakes his head
“Do what?”
“Act like I haven’t been through shit either”
“Sorry”
“ I don’t want to be a burden , I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore” you fumble with your necklace “ and that’s alright, I just wish you’d realise you don’t have to do it by yourself y/n”
“ I’m letting you help me”
“Barely” he scoffs , running his hands through his hair “ I just don’t want anyone to pity me” you get quieter
If the last year of your life is spent by everyone walking on egg shells around you , you’ll feel like a burden — you won’t let it happen
“ I get that, okay — I’m not arguing with you I’m just saying it’s already at that point where you should be telling Faye — or your mother , anyone, so you have people to rely on”
“ Roman please, I don’t want to talk about this” the haziness of the weed starts to hit you “ you’re gonna blow my high and it’s barely even hit yet”
He leaves it at that — no pushing , at least not today instead he looked at you with these stupid pitting eyes , the kind that made you feel how unwell you truly are
“I’m sorry”
That night , you drink a little more than you should, that with the mixture of weed left you crying to Hollis about how downhill everything was going for you— not knowing what to do, Hollis immediately found Roman, who was just as drunk as you , but still took care of you , let you lay in his lap and cry whilst you waited for the uber to come, ordered food to sober you up before he was even in the house , reassured you softly and carried you up 3 flights of stairs before placing you in bed
“ don’t leave” you hold weakly onto his arms “ stay , just for a bit, please?”
“I can do that” he sits in the spot you tapped at , hands combing through your hair “ so gorgeous” he mutters , eyes etched onto your face “ you still think so?”
“ never stopped”
He’s being careful, moving as if he’s scared. His hand finds your cheek, thumb gliding up and down— and then, he kisses you , slow , passionate— it takes seconds until you’re on top of him , turning what Roman thought was gonna be just a short kiss , into a full blown make out session
You didn’t even notice what you were doing to him by shifting slightly until he groaned out
“Fuck , I missed you” he whispers, sitting up before kissing up and down your neck “rom” you squeal “ what baby?” He pauses ,searching to figure out if anything’s wrong “ I need you” you say lowly, embarrassed “yeah?” He chuckles, mockingly —he knew you’d ask sooner or later , you nod
“Cmon then” he wraps himself around you unclipping your bra before sliding your panties to the side , toying with your clit in a way that made you shiver and buck your hips “ relax , y/n” he hushes, pushing you down running his other hand through your hair as he plunges two fingers into you , causing you to again squeal
“Do it yourself, c’mon” his fingers halt as he pushes you down on them , fuck
You’re fucking into yourself with your ex’s fingers , pathetic — but he doesn’t think so , he’s praising you like there’s no tomorrow
“good girl , there you go” he coos
“Rom , i need you” you whine out “am i not giving you me?” He tilts his head, faking confusion to which you just purse your lips in disappointment “words baby”
“I need you to fuck me”
“Aw, why didn’t you just say so?” He chuckles , he flips you around , pushing you down before sliding his underwear off
You’re a whining mess under him between his praise and the tip of his cock hitting your clit , you were loosing your mind “please”
He pushes softly into you , groaning with every inch “ fuck” he whispers bottoming out inside of you “ just like that baby” you begin to get more comfortable with him moving around , steadying yourself you grab onto Romans arm , which suprisingly —he lets you do , he’s being way more gentle than he used to be
“ there you go sweet girl” he chokes out as you pace yourself back and forth on his cock , tugging at your hair lightly
He’s soft , caring — holding you the whole time
Romans piercing into you with his thrusts , grunting lowly
“ fuckk” you whine out , arch deepening “ rom im gonna—cum” you hiccup “ hold it pretty girl” he continues to pound into you, kissing up and now your neck in hopes of distracting you from being overwhelmed by pleasure
“ right there , Fuck rom” you shudder , moans muffled into the pillow “ there?” He continues ramming into the spot that made your mind go fuzzy
“ missed you so fucking much doll” that’s when you lost it , the knot in your stomach loosening as you clenched around his dick , him calling you nicknames whilst he was buried inside of you , it was all intentional , he knew it’d send you over the edge
He rubbed your clit throughout your whole release, whispering soft praise into your ear
His release followed slowly after — you could tell it was long awaited as it litterally brought him to tears , he was a whimpering mess above you , choking out your name in broken cries
“ you’re perfect y/n ”
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Although he was drunk , Roman knew he had to take care of you , he left you laying down in bed to go run a bath for the two of you
By the time he came back in , hair tied up and towel folded around his waist , you were passed out , your phone still replaying the same tiktok
“ shit” he grunts picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder “rom?” You tap his back as he walks down the hallway “mhm”
“How’d you fall asleep so fast , was only gone like 15 minutes” you didn’t feel like mentioning it , but it was your medication that got you tired like this . Given the fact you were already naked Roman found no issue placing you down into the warm water “you’re not coming in?” You frown as he turns to walk around “ didn’t think you wanted me to”
“ don’t be silly” you sit up , letting him slip behind you , his arms quick to close around your waist , a soft blanket of bubbles around you both “reminds me of old times” he nuzzles his face into your neck “ yeah , before you went all crazy on me” you lay back onto him “ im sorry baby” he kisses your shoulder delicately “ you really scared me rom , I’d never seen you like that before”
“ I’m sorry y/n” his fingers glide through your hair “ I was scared—I was selfish , I didn’t mean to scare you”
“It’s okay , you’re here now” you turn around, now staring into his eyes , laying down on his chest “ but you were so mean to me” you frown, it was obvious the alcohol was still in your system — sober you wouldn’t even think about vocalising this “ after I gave birth I was all alone , it was horrible”
“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry” his hands fumble with yours “I don’t want it to be like that again” you shake your head “it won’t , I’m here now , okay?”
“ it was hard , yknow — not having you around anymore , i lost all motivation to do anything” he pauses before continuing “ you kept me from going crazy , and when i let you go I didn’t know what to do with myself” he rests his hands on your back “i promise , i wont let you be alone again , okay?”
“Okay” you nod “your hairs grown so long”you change the subject , hands roaming all over his hair “you think?” He says , to which you hum “yea , you look sexy” you blurt out “oh yeah?” Roman chuckles lowly “yea” a stupid smile takes over your face as he sits up and begins attacking you with kisses “stoppp” you drag out as he leans back again
“Hm , any plans for Carlos’s birthday?” Roman questioned , dragging his hands slowly up and down your back “ shit , i forgot it was this week” you speak softly
“ it’s all good , i can figure something out” he holds you closer “ ill figure it out” he reassures “hollis wants to meet him yknow”
“Really? He’s more than welcome to”
“I’ll let him know”
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Romans confused to say the least when he wakes up with Carlos logged in between the two of you , his iPad full volume on paw patrol “mami?” He calls out rubbing his eyes “ my mommy” Carlos slaps his shoulder before crossing his arms , glaring at Roman “ ow dude , what did she tell you about hitting” he sits up “ she was my mommy before you anyways” he mumbles , peaking over Carlos to see if you were there
Just like he expected, you were there , sound asleep, completely tuning out the ruckus of Carlos’s loud ass iPad , Romans makes sure to remember getting him headphones for his birthday
“Cmon buddy” Roman moves Carlos over carefully so he can get besides you “rom?” You whisper , rubbing your eyes “yea” he leaves a kiss on your neck, hands raking through your hair “ good morning” you groan , still half asleep “ morning, your son was trying to kill me for calling you mami” he speaks lowly so Carlos doesn’t act out “how did he even get in here” you sit up slowly “no clue”
“Hm” you lay back down , now on top of Romans chest before your eyes shut again “you’re sleepy again?” He cocks an eyebrow in disbelief “ mhm , it’s a side affect from the medication” you murmur
୨﹒˖˚──﹕warnings ; religious themes, afab reader, arguing, nsfw themes (not really that descriptive but still had to put the warning in!)
୨﹒˖˚──﹕luckys note ; i apologize for taking like two weeks to update this chapter but i swear on my mama this took me way too long to finish writing since it has over 10k words 😭 also... i lowkey never write nsfw stuff but it felt right so i tried my best without making it too smutty... lord knows i can't write that. once again comment if u wanna be tagged for the next part (possibly the final part 😞) and enjoy reading! i also hope this isnt too 'samey' as the last part cause im slowly getting burnt out by writing this 😭
୨﹒˖˚──﹕wc ; 12.4k
୨﹒˖˚── part six , part eight
· · ──────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────── · ·
The first few days after the phone call feel different. Like he's being more delicate. Like both of you are trying not to scare the other away again.
Roman texts you the next morning before you even wake up. When your eyes finally blink open, sunlight already spilling weakly through your curtains, your phone is waiting beside you with his name across the screen when you open it.
Roman:
you alive?
You stare at it sleepily for a moment, warmth spreading slowly through your chest before you even fully process why.
You:
unfortunately
The typing bubble appears almost immediately.
Roman:
damn. was hoping for better news
A quiet laugh escapes you before you can stop it and that becomes the beginning of it again.
Not the way it was before. Much different this time.
Both of you are somehow being more careful. But somehow more intimate too.
You start carrying your phone everywhere without realizing it. Keeping the volume low during dinner. Checking it during church when your parents aren’t looking. Falling asleep with it still clutched loosely in your hand after late conversations that stretch too far into the night.
Roman texts differently than anyone else. His messages are short, most of the time half finished. Pictures instead of explanations.
First it was just pictures of whatever. His car windshield when the rain started.
Roman:
been sitting in this parking lot for twenty minutes because i dont wanna go inside
A picture of a coffee cup balanced carefully on some sound equipment.
Roman:
this tastes really bad...
You:
then why are you
drinking it?
Roman:
builds character
You laugh quietly to yourself while standing in the grocery store beside your mother, quickly lowering your phone before she notices. But the smile stays.
That becomes a problem. It starts happening everywhere now.
During dinner. While folding laundry. Half awake in the middle of the night when your phone lights up beside you.
Roman slips into every part of your day without meaning to. A message here. Another message there.
His name lighting up your screen so often that you start recognizing the feeling of him before you even open the notification.
And over the next few days, your conversations stop feeling careful.
They become constant.
Sometimes he calls you randomly just because he’s bored.
Sometimes because he “wanted background noise.”
That’s what he tells you the first time he calls late at night. “I don’t even have anything to say.” He admits quietly through the speaker.
You curl deeper beneath your blankets, lowering your voice instinctively even though everyone else is already asleep. “Then why did you call?”
“Don’t know.” He says honestly. “Wanted to hear you.”
Your chest tightens immediately. He says things like that sometimes now. Dangerous things.
Always casually enough that they settle under your skin before you can protect yourself from them.
You hear him light a cigarette through the phone sometimes.
You start recognizing the sounds of him. The soft scratch of his lighter. The roughness in his voice when he’s tired. The way he goes quieter when he’s thinking about something.
And slowly, without realizing it, you stop being nervous during the silences.
At first you used to rush to fill them. Now you just let them exist. Because now, they don scare you anymore. Now you know he's here to stay, regardless of the situation you're in.
One night you’re lying on your bedroom floor while he talks softly about a fight Hollis got into when they were fifteen.
“She broke his nose.” Roman says, amused.
You laugh quietly. “A girl broke his nose?”
“To be fair, she was terrifying.” He says through a chuckle.
“You’re lying.”
“I swear to god.” You can hear the smile in his voice.
Your eyes drift shut as he keeps talking.
You picture him while he speaks without even trying anymore.
The curve of his mouth. The way his eyes soften when he looks at you now.
The feeling of his hoodie beneath your fingers. The warmth of him beside you in the park.
Your chest aches with missing him suddenly.
“You got quiet.” Roman murmurs.
You blink back to yourself. “Sorry.”
“What’re you thinking about?”
You hesitate before speaking. “You.”
There's silence now. It feels different from any other time he went silent. Your stomach twists instantly.
Maybe that was too much. Maybe you shouldn’t have said it out loud.
Then Roman exhales softly through the speaker. “Yeah?” He asks quietly.
The way he says it makes heat rush to your face immediately.
You press your hand over your eyes. “Don’t make it weird.”
A faint laugh leaves him. “You made it weird.”
“I take it back.”
“No.” He says immediately.
Your heart stutters a little at how fast that answer comes.
“No?” you repeat softly.
“No.” His voice lowers slightly now. “I liked hearing it.”
You turn onto your side slowly, curling tighter into your blankets.
Outside your window, the neighborhood sits quiet and still.
Inside your room, everything feels warm.
“You’re impossible.” you murmur.
Roman hums softly. “Still talking to me though.”
And the worst part is, he’s right.
You talk until almost two in the morning that night.
About nothing important. About music. Childhood stories.Things you’re afraid of. Things you pretend not to care about.
At one point you hear him yawn quietly.
“Are you tired?” You ask him softly.
“A little.” He mumbles.
“Then go to sleep.”
“Nah.”
You smile into the darkness. “Roman.”
“I like talking to you like this better.”
Your chest tightens painfully again, because you do too.
The line goes quiet for a moment again. Not awkward.
Just heavy in that strange way your conversations have become lately. Like there’s always something sitting underneath them now. Something neither of you fully says out loud because once you do, it might become too real.
You curl further beneath your blankets, phone pressed warm against your ear.
“What?” Roman asks softly after a second.
Your brows pull together slightly. “What do you mean what?”
“You went quiet again.”
You stare up at your ceiling in the dark. “Maybe I just don’t have anything to say for once.”
“Don’t believe that.”
A small smile tugs at your mouth automatically.
You hear him shift around on the other end of the line, fabric rustling faintly.
“What’re you doing?” You ask quietly.
“Laying on my couch.”
“At three in the morning?”
“Yeah.”
“You own a bed.”
“Very observant tonight.”
You roll your eyes despite the warmth spreading through your chest. “You’re annoying.”
Roman hums softly. “You still haven't hung up on me.”
The silence settles again.
Outside, the wind brushes softly against your window. Your room feels smaller at night lately. Smaller when he’s on the phone because every part of you becomes painfully aware that he isn’t actually here.
You miss him.
The realization hits suddenly enough to make your chest ache.
You miss him in this consuming, restless way that seems to follow you through every part of your day now.
You swallow slowly before speaking again. “I wish you were here.”
The words slip out before you can stop them.
Silence again.
Your heartbeat stumbles immediately.
You squeeze your eyes shut. “Forget I said that.”
Roman exhales softly through the speaker. “Stop doing that.”
Heat rushes across your face instantly.
“You say that every time I embarrass myself.”
“You don’t embarrass yourself.” His voice is quieter now. Lower. “You just say honest things and then panic about them.”
Your chest tightens painfully because he’s right.
You pull your blanket higher over yourself even though you’re already warm.
“I just…” You stop, suddenly unsure how to explain it without sounding pathetic. “I don’t know.”
Roman waits like he always does. He's always patient with you.
“You miss me?” He asks quietly.
The gentleness in his voice makes it worse somehow.
You stare at the ceiling for a long moment before finally whispering. “Yeah.”
“Yeah.” Roman murmurs softly. "I miss you too, angel."
You can hear the exhaustion in his voice now, but beneath everything else, you can hear the honesty. And somehow it feels more intimate than flirting ever did.
“You should sleep.” You whisper.
Roman lets out a quiet laugh. “You keep saying that.”
“Because you sound tired.”
“I am tired.”
“Then why are you still awake?”
A pause.
“Because hanging up means not talking to you anymore.” He whispers through the speaker.
Your heart flutters immediately, heat creeping up to your cheeks. You press your face deeper into your pillow, smiling helplessly into the darkness despite yourself.
Somewhere on the other end of the line, Roman goes quiet again.
“Can I tell you something?” He asks softly.
Your stomach flips slightly. “Depends.”
A faint laugh leaves him before he speaks. “I think you’re becoming my favorite part of the day.”
Your breath catches so hard it almost hurts.
Neither of you says anything afterward.
Deep down you know he's becoming the favorite part of your day too. Even deeper, you know he's already been the favorite part of your day.
· · ──────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────── · ·
Later that week, the tension finally begins to crack. It's not sudden. It doesn't happen all at once. Instead, it's painfully slow and quiet. The kind of tension that starts underneath everything long before anyone says a word.
Dinner with your parents had already been uncomfortable.
Your mother kept watching you every time your phone lit up face-down beside your plate. Your father barely spoke through the meal, but somehow that silence felt heavier than anger.
You tried to act normal anyway. Tried to laugh at the right moment and to answer questions normally. You tried so hard not to think about the unread message waiting on your phone.
Roman:
you alive over there or did
they lock you up somewhere?
You had nearly smiled reading it.
Now you’re curled into the corner of the living room couch pretending to read while the television drones softly in the background.
Your mother is foldin laundry at the dining table. Your father watches the news. The entire house feels tense in that quiet, awful way where everyone is pretending things are normal when they aren’t.
Your phone vibrates softly against the cushion beside you. Your stomach flips immediately.
You glance down too quickly.
Roman:
you think we can see
each other soon? i miss u
A smile pulls faintly at your mouth before you can stop it. It's small, automatic.
But the second it happens, you feel it. Your mother is looking at you and your smile disappears instantly.
“What?” You ask too quickly.
Your mother folds another towel carefully before answering. “You seem happy all of a sudden.”
Your pulse stumbles slightly. “It was just Marie.”
You almost bite your tongue from how easy that lie came. Your mother’s hands still against the towel in her lap. You immediately wish you could take the sentence back.
Not because she believes you. Because she clearly doesn’t.
“You’ve been talking to Marie a lot lately.” She says after a moment.
You force yourself to keep your eyes on the book in your lap. “Yeah, she's really the only one you two trust right now...”
There's a pause from your mother's side, like she's decided what she wants to say next. Then, calmly, she asks. “Can I see your phone?”
Your entire body tightens instantly and you look up slowly. “Why?”
“Because I asked.” Her tone stays calm.
You glance briefly toward your father, hoping maybe he’ll interrupt somehow, but he only watches quietly from his chair now.
Your grip tightens around the book in your lap. “It’s nothing.”
Your mother studies you carefully. “You know...” She says softly. “When you were younger, you used to get this exact look on your face every time you lied.”
Heat crawls up your neck immediately. “I’m not lying.”
“You can’t even look at me when you say it.”
Your chest tightens painfully. The room suddenly feels too small. You set your book aside carefully, trying to keep your hands steady. “Why are you acting like I did something terrible?”
Your mother exhales slowly through her nose. “Because you’ve been acting like someone else ever since we've argued last time.”
The defensiveness rises immediately. “He’s not-”
She stops you before you can say anything else. “I didn’t even say this was about him.”
Silence. Your stomach drops because she caught that too. Your mother leans back slightly in her chair now, arms crossing loosely.
“So you are still talking to him.” She says. It's not a question. It's a statement.
You stare at her silently. And somehow your silence answers louder than words ever could.
Your mother closes her eyes briefly. Disappointment flashes across her face so openly it makes guilt twist hard in your chest.
“We already had this conversation.”
“I know.” You whisper.
“Then why are we having it again?”
You can hear how disappointed she is with you in her voice. You don't know what to say because you don’t have an answer she’ll understand.
Your father finally speaks, voice calm but firm. “Did you lie to us about stopping?”
You look down at your hands. That pause alone is enough.
Your mother lets out a soft, disbelieving laugh under her breath. “Oh my God.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” She asks immediately.
You shake your head slightly, frustration building now because nothing ever comes out right when you try to explain him.
“You don’t understand.”
Her expression hardens immediately. “No.” She says sharply. “You don’t understand.”
The room goes quiet again. Your mother stands slowly from the table, folding forgotten now.
“You think we are trying to punish you?” She asks. “You think we enjoy this?”
“No.” You say quietly. Your voice is already shaking.
“Then why are you making us fight you on this?”
“Because you don't even know him.” You start. "Because you're making him out to be this horrible person without even meeting him."
Your mother stares at you in disbelief. “You snuck out in the middle of the night to see him.”
Your face burns instantly.
“You went to clubs behind our backs.”
“I know.”
“You lie every single day lately.”
“I know.”
“And somehow we’re supposed to trust your judgment?”
Something sharp twists in your chest now. “You act like he’s dangerous.”
“We don’t know him!” She yells. “And neither do you!”
The second the words leave her mouth, silence crashes through the room again.
You look at your mother and you're genuinely stunned now.
Your father’s expression darkens immediately. Your pulse pounds violently in your ears. You wish you could stop talking. But now that the anger is rising, you can’t.
“You decided what he was the second you found out about him.” You continue, voice shaking even more now. “Because he doesn’t fit into what you think is acceptable."
“That is not what this is about.” Your father says quietly.
“Then what is it about?”
Your mother looks at you for a long moment before speaking again. And when she does, her voice is quieter now. She's more hurt than angry. “You have changed. You barely talk to us anymore.” She continues softly. “You hide things. You lie constantly. You disappear emotionally every time his name appears on your phone.”
Your throat tightens painfully.
“You sit in this house looking miserable until he texts you.” She says. “And then suddenly you smile again.”
Your eyes burn instantly. Because the worst part is that she’s right.
Your father stands slowly now too. “We raised you better than this.”
The guilt crashes into you immediately. But underneath it something else rises too now. Frustration. Anger. Exhaustion.
“Maybe I’m tired of feeling guilty all the time.” You whisper.
Your mother stares at you like she doesn’t recognize the sentence. “What does that mean?”
You shake your head quickly. “Nothing.”
“No.” Her voice sharpens immediately. “What does that mean?”
You can’t stop now. “He makes me feel-” You stop yourself too late.
Your mother catches it instantly. “He makes you feel what?”
Your chest rises unevenly. You look away first. And somehow that silence tells them everything anyway.
Your stomach twists violently. But your mother notices the hesitation immediately.
And suddenly she looks less angry. Just sad.
“Oh sweetheart…” She says softly.
The fight drains out of the room after that. Not because anything was solved. Because everyone is exhausted.
Your father rubs a hand over his face before speaking again, quieter now. “We are not trying to hurt you.”
You stare down at your hands without answering.
Your mother steps closer slowly this time, her voice gentler than before. “We’re just scared for you.”
Your throat tightens painfully. “You’re changing so fast.” She says. “And we don’t know how to reach you anymore.”
That hurts more than the yelling did. Because part of you understands exactly what she means. You just don’t know how to explain that you don’t fully recognize yourself lately either.
Roman makes you feel alive in a way that scares you sometimes. And your parents noticing it somehow makes it even scarier.
The room falls quiet again.
Your mother exhales shakily before speaking one last time. “I need you to stop talking to him.”
The words land softly this time instead of sharply.
And somehow that makes them harder to fight. You close your eyes briefly because you already know you can’t do that to him again. But you also know saying that out loud would start everything all over again.
So instead, you just nod once. Small, weak and uncertain. Your mother studies your face like she’s trying to decide whether to believe you.
Eventually she only says quietly. “Go upstairs.”
You stand slowly from the couch, feeling emotionally hollow now. Your father doesn’t look at you as you pass him. That hurts too.
The staircase creaks beneath your feet as you make your way upstairs, every step heavier than the last.
When you finally close your bedroom door behind you, the silence feels overwhelming. You lean back against the door for a long moment, breathing unevenly.
Then you open your phone. Roman’s last message still glows faintly on the screen.
Roman:
you disappeared again angel
please text me back
Your chest aches instantly. You stare at it for a long time. Long enough for another message to appear.
Roman:
you okay? you barely said
anything today
im worried
Tears burn unexpectedly behind your eyes again. Because suddenly everything feels impossible. Loving him already feels tangled up with losing pieces of yourself.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard. Then slowly, painfully, you lock the phone instead. And leave his messages unanswered.
· · ──────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────── · ·
The next day hits you hard. You wake up exhausted after barely sleeping at all, your chest still heavy from the fight with your parents the night before. For a few seconds after opening your eyes, you almost forget everything.
Then your phone lights up on the nightstand.
Roman:
you okay?
Your stomach twists instantly. The message was sent at 1:13 AM. You stare at it for a long moment without touching the phone. The room feels cold this morning. Too quiet. Downstairs you can already hear movement in the kitchen, cabinets opening and closing softly.
You squeeze your eyes shut briefly. Everything feels tangled together now. Roman. Your parents. The guilt sitting constantly in your chest lately.
Your phone buzzes again.
Roman:
are you mad at me or
something?
Your fingers hover over the keyboard.
You:
im not mad
You stare at the words for several seconds and then delete them. The typing bar disappears. So does your courage. You lock the phone instead and force yourself out of bed.
Breakfast is uncomfortable. Your father reads the newspaper in silence while your mother moves around the kitchen quietly, setting a plate down in front of you without meeting your eyes right away.
You murmur a soft “Thank you.”
She nods once. That’s all.
The absence of fighting should feel relieving. Instead it feels like walking through broken glass.
Your phone sits face-down beside your plate. You don’t touch it once. But you think about it constantly.
You wonder if Roman texted again. If he’s annoyed at you yet. If he’s hurt again.
Your mother notices every time your eyes drift toward it.
You notice her noticing. And suddenly even breathing feels suspicious.
“Are you going to Marie’s today?” Your mother asks casually while pouring herself coffee.
Your stomach tightens immediately. “No.”
A pause. Then, she speaks again. “Good.”
The word lands heavier than it should.
You look down at your plate again, appetite gone completely.
Roman texts you three more times that day.
Roman:
alive?
you disappeared again
okay now im starting to get offended
Every notification sends a sharp ache through your chest. You read every message immediately. Then leave them unanswered.
By evening, you feel restless. You can’t focus on anything. You try reading. You try helping your mother fold laundry. You even sit through an entire sermon online with your father in the living room just to prove to yourself that you can still be normal.
But every few minutes your thoughts drift back to him. To the way his voice sounded on the phone.
Because hanging up means not talking to you anymore. You hate how much that sentence affected you.
Late that night, you finally pick up your phone again while curled beneath your blankets. Roman’s contact sits at the top of your messages.
You open the chat slowly, your thumb hovering over the keyboard.
You:
im sorry
Delete.
You:
things are
complicated rn
Delete.
You:
i miss you too
Your breath catches slightly at your own honesty. You stare at the words for almost a full minute. Then you erase them too. The empty typing bar stares back at you accusingly.
Eventually you lock your phone again and press it against your chest like that somehow helps. It doesn’t.
The second day feels worse. Because now you know he’s waiting. You can feel it in every text.
Roman:
you really ignoring me?
thats kinda mean
at least tell me youre okay
The teasing is still there. But underneath it something else has started slipping through now. He's worried.
You read the last message three times while standing in the bathroom getting ready for bed.
At least tell me youre okay.
Your chest aches. Because you know he cares. That’s what makes this harder. If he didn’t matter, ignoring him would be easy. But he does matter. Too much.
You grip the edge of the sink tightly, staring at yourself in the mirror. Your mother’s words echo relentlessly in your head.
Boys like him know exactly what to say.
What happens when he gets bored?
He makes you feel special and then-
“Stop.” You whisper aloud to yourself.
Your reflection looks exhausted. You barely recognize yourself lately. You leave your phone on the counter and walk away from it. Three minutes later you come back for it anyway.
Your parents watch you constantly now. Not aggressively. Just... Quietly.
That somehow feels worse.
Your mother knocks before entering your room now. Your father asks more questions at dinner. They exchange glances every time your phone buzzes. And your phone keeps buzzing.
Roman:
seriously?
did i do something?
youre freaking me out a little
i thought everything was
okay now
That message hurts the worst. You sit on your bedroom floor rereading it while tears sting unexpectedly behind your eyes. Because part of you knows this is cruel. He doesn’t know what happened after the phone call. He doesn’t know your father looked disappointed in you in a way that made your chest physically hurt.
All he knows is that you disappeared again. Your thumb presses against his contact. You stare at the call button for several long seconds. Then lock the phone again.
You're a coward. The word hits immediately.
You curl tighter against the side of your bed, pressing your forehead against your knees.
Because what are you even doing? You miss him so badly it feels physical now.
You miss hearing his voice. You miss his stupid teasing. You miss the feeling of calm that somehow only exists when he’s talking to you. But every time you think about answering him, guilt crashes over you immediately after.
Like choosing him means betraying your family. Like wanting him already means becoming someone your parents won’t recognize anymore.
That night he calls. Your entire body freezes the second his name flashes across your screen.
Roman calling…
Your heartbeat starts pounding instantly. You stare at it in horror. Because hearing his voice right now would destroy you. The phone keeps ringing.
You imagine him waiting on the other end. Running a hand through his hair impatiently. Frowning slightly when you don’t answer.
Your finger hovers over decline. You can’t do it. But you can’t answer either.
So you just let it ring. And ring. And ring.
Until finally the screen goes dark again.
The silence afterward feels awful. Two seconds later, he texts again.
Roman:
okay now im actually worried
Your throat tightens painfully. Another message.
Roman:
please answer me
You press your hand over your mouth hard. Because suddenly you want to cry again. You type before you can stop yourself.
You:
i cant right now
Your breath catches. You stare at the message in panic. Then immediately delete it before sending. But it’s too late now. Because even typing it made something inside you crack. You throw the phone onto your bed like it burned you.
The third day is unbearable. There are no new messages when you wake up. That hurts more than there being too many.
You stare at the screen for several long moments.
Nothing.
Your stomach twists uncomfortably.
Part of you thinks that's good. This is what you wanted. Distance. Space. A chance to breathe again.
But instead your entire chest feels hollow. You spend most of the day distracted.
You burn toast during breakfast because you’re checking your phone every thirty seconds without realizing it.
You barely speak during lunch. By evening, even your mother notices.
“You seem tired.” She comments.
You force a small nod. “Just didn’t sleep well.”
Her expression softens slightly at that.
For a second guilt crashes into you all over again.
Because your parents are trying. Even after everything. And still part of you is thinking about him constantly.
You excuse yourself early after dinner and head upstairs before anyone can stop you.
The second your bedroom door closes, you grab your phone immediately. Still nothing. Your chest aches.
You hate yourself for feeling disappointed. You open your messages anyway.
Your conversation with Roman fills the screen instantly. Weeks of him everywhere.
Your throat tightens painfully. Then finally, a new message appears.
Roman:
answer me
Short. No teasing this time. No softness either. Just those two words. Your heartbeat stumbles immediately. Another message follows a minute later.
Roman:
if you want me gone just say that
That one physically hurts. Your fingers shake slightly as you type.
You:
its not that
You stare at the words. Your pulse pounds violently now. You could send it. You should send it. But then what? What if your parents are right What if this keeps getting worse? What if you lose everyone trying to hold onto him?
Tears sting your eyes again. Slowly, miserably, you delete the message. Then lock your phone completely. The room falls silent again. But this time the silence doesn’t feel protective anymore. It feels like losing him.
· · ──────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────── · ·
After that, sleep feels impossible. Every time you close your eyes, your thoughts drift back to him.
To his unanswered messages. To the call you never picked up. To the awful final text still sitting at the bottom of your screen.
if you want me gone just say that
You’ve reread it so many times the words barely look real anymore. Your bedroom is dark except for the faint glow of your bedside lamp. Outside, the neighborhood sits quiet and still beneath the deep blue haze of late night.
Your parents went to bed over an hour ago. The entire house is silent now.
But your mind isn’t.
You roll onto your back again with a frustrated sigh, staring up at the ceiling.
You tried everything tonight. Reading. Music. Prayer. Even leaving your phone across the room so you’d stop checking it every five seconds.
None of it worked. Because somehow everything always circles back to Roman.
You wonder what he’s doing right now. If he’s sleeping. If he’s angry. If he finally gave up on you. That last thought twists painfully in your chest.
You sit up slowly against the headboard and glance toward your desk where your phone still rests untouched beside your lamp.
The silence stretches. Then finally you give in. You grab the phone and unlock it immediately.
His messages are still there waiting for you.
You open them before you can stop yourself. The conversation feels different now.
Weeks of teasing and flirting and late-night calls suddenly interrupted by silence. Your silence.
You scroll upward slowly.
Pictures he sent you from random places during the day. Voice messages. Him complaining dramatically when you took too long to answer.
You sending blurry pictures of the sky because he once told you he liked seeing what you were seeing.
Your chest aches harder the more you scroll. You stop at one message from almost two weeks ago.
Roman:
you know you kinda ruin
my day when you don't answer me
At the time it made your stomach flutter. Now it just hurts. You bite down hard on your bottom lip, then slowly type into your phone.
You:
im sorry
Your fingers freeze above the keyboard. You stare at the message. You could send it. But fear rises immediately after. Because apologizing means talking again. And talking again means falling right back into him.
And part of you is terrified your parents are right. Terrified this feeling is already becoming too big.
You squeeze your eyes shut tightly. Then delete the message again.
The empty typing bar returns.
Your throat burns suddenly.
God, what is wrong with you?
You miss him so much it physically hurts and still you keep pushing him away. Your phone slips from your fingers onto the blanket beside you.
You bury your face in your hands with a shaky exhale. Then, you hear it. A tap.
You freeze instantly. Your head lifts slowly. Silence. Your heartbeat quickens slightly. Probably a branch. The tree beside your window always scraped against the glass when the wind picked up.
You reach for your phone again.
Tap. This time louder. Your entire body stills. That wasn’t a branch.
You stare toward the darkened window across the room.
The curtains shift faintly in the breeze from the cracked windowpane.
Another tap.
Fear spikes instantly through your chest. You set the phone down carefully. Every horror story your mother ever warned you about flashes through your head all at once. The house stays silent. Your parents are asleep downstairs.
Tap.
Your pulse pounds violently now. Slowly, cautiously, you slide out of bed. The floor creaks softly beneath your feet as you move toward the window.
Another tap comes just before you reach it. Your stomach twists. You grab the curtain tightly in your fist, then pull it back quickly. And you nearly scream.
Roman is outside your window. Halfway up the tree, one hand gripping a thick branch beside him while the other braces against the side of your house.
A dark hoodie clings to his frame beneath the pale wash of moonlight. His hair is slightly messy like he climbed up too fast, and he looks faintly out of breath. But his eyes lock onto yours immediately. Relief flashes across his face so quickly you almost miss it. Followed immediately by irritation.
You just stare at him in complete shock. Roman lifts his eyebrows slightly.
“Hi.” He mouths through the closed window.
Your mouth falls open. “Oh my God.”
Quickly, you open your window, both scared he's gonna hurt himself and confused on why he's here and how he knows you live here.
He glances down briefly toward the branch beneath him. “Yeah, okay, this is way harder than it looked.”
“What are you doing?!” You whisper-shout immediately.
Roman winces slightly. “Can you maybe open the window fully before I die?”
“Roman!”
His expression shifts somewhere between exhausted and annoyed now. “You ignored me for three days.”
Your chest tightens instantly. “That does not explain why you’re climbing trees outside my house!”
“It kinda does actually.”
You stare at him like he’s completely insane. Because he is. Actually insane.
Your bedroom suddenly feels too small. Roman is here. Not at the café. Not outside the club. Not in his apartment. Here. Outside your bedroom window.
“What if someone sees you?” You say, panic evident in your voice.
“Then this gets super embarrassing for both of us.” He jokes, but deep down, he's serious.
“Roman, I’m serious.”
“So am I.” His voice softens slightly then, and suddenly you notice how tired he looks.
Not physically. Emotionally. Like these last few days hit him harder than you realized.
The realization twists painfully in your chest.
You grip the curtain tighter. “You need to leave.”
Roman stares at you for a second like he genuinely cannot believe you just said that. “You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“You ignored every text. Every call.” His voice stays low, careful not to wake anyone, but frustration slips through anyway now. “And now you want me to just leave?”
Your throat tightens immediately. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Yeah, I noticed. Actually, it seems like you can't do it ever. It's always that with you.”
The hurt underneath the words hits hard.
You glance nervously toward your bedroom door. The entire house still sleeps quietly. You lower your voice even further. “My parents are downstairs.”
Roman exhales sharply through his nose. “I figured that out when I climbed into your suburban nightmare.”
Despite everything, a tiny hysterical laugh almost escapes you. Almost.
“Roman, seriously-”
“No.” His grip tightens slightly against the branch. “No, because you don’t get to disappear on me again.”
Your chest aches instantly. You hate hearing that word. Again. Because he’s right. You did this before. At the café. After the fight. Now again.
And every single time he’s the one left chasing after you. Guilt crashes over you hard enough to make your stomach twist.
“I just needed space.”
“For three days?”
You don’t answer. Roman studies your face carefully now, frustration slowly giving way to something else. Worry.
“You look exhausted.”
Your eyes sting unexpectedly. “Please just go home.”
The second the words leave your mouth, something changes in his expression.
Not anger. Something worse. He's hurt. A quiet silence settles between you. The tree shifts slightly beneath him in the wind.
Then finally Roman says softly. “I thought you were done with me.”
And suddenly every horrible thing from the last three days crashes into you at once.
Him texting you constantly. Calling you. Waiting. Wondering why you disappeared again. Thinking you didn’t want him anymore.
Your chest tightens painfully enough to almost make you dizzy. Roman looks away briefly, jaw tightening slightly. “I kept thinking maybe you just regretted everything.”
“No.” The answer leaves your mouth instantly.
His eyes flick back to yours immediately.
You swallow hard. “I don’t regret you.”
Roman stares at you carefully now, like he’s trying to decide whether to believe you because this is the most exposed either of you have ever been. Just him outside your bedroom window looking at you like losing you actually scared him.
Your throat tightens again. “I didn’t know what to do...” You admit quietly.
Roman’s expression softens immediately. “You could’ve talked to me.”
“My parents-” You speak but he stops you.
“I know your parents hate me.”
“They don’t hate you.”
“Your mom definitely hates me.”
A weak laugh escapes you before you can stop it. Roman notices immediately because even now he knows exactly how to pull reactions out of you.
The wind shifts outside again. Roman glances downward briefly before muttering. “Seriously, can I come inside before I fall kill myself?”
The panic immediately returns. “No.”
He blinks. “No?”
“You cannot come into my room.”
“I’m literally hanging off a tree branch right now.”
“And whose fault is that?!”
Roman stares at you for a second. Then his mouth twitches slightly.
You look horrified. “This is funny to you?”
“A little.”
“You are insane.”
“Yeah.” He says quietly, eyes still locked on yours. “Probably.”
The softness in his voice knocks the irritation right out of you again. You hate how easily he affects you.
You glance toward the hallway nervously. Still quiet. Then back toward him. Roman’s fingers flex slightly against the branch. He’s trying to look relaxed, but you can tell climbing up here actually took effort.
And suddenly all you can think about is that he came here for you. Not because you asked him to. Because he couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
Your chest aches unbearably. Roman watches your expression carefully.
Then softer, he mumbles. “Please.”
That’s what breaks finally you. The fact that he sounds vulnerable. Roman almost never sounds vulnerable.
You close your eyes briefly. Then slowly reach for the window latch. The second you unlock it, Roman exhales softly like he was genuinely afraid you wouldn’t.
The second the window slides open wider, cold night air rushes into your room.
Roman grabs the edge of the frame immediately, pulling himself upward carefully. The branch beneath him creaks softly and your stomach twists in panic all over again.
“Be careful, please.” You whisper instinctively.
Roman glances at you briefly. “Thought you wanted me to leave.”
“This is not the time, Roman.” You say, voice flat and unamused.
A faint breath of amusement leaves him, but it disappears quickly as he climbs through the window.
And suddenly he’s here. Actually here. In your room. Your breath catches immediately. Everything feels different now that he’s inside.
He's too close to you, to everything in your life that you tried pushing away.
The room that always felt small suddenly feels impossibly smaller with Roman standing in it. The lamp beside your bed throws soft gold light across him, catching the tired shadows beneath his eyes, the dark hoodie clinging slightly to his shoulders from the cold outside.
For a second neither of you move. Roman looks at you. You look at him. And the silence between you feels almost overwhelming now.
Because this isn’t sneaking out anymore. This isn’t meeting him somewhere separate from your life. He’s standing inside it.
Your bedroom suddenly feels painfully personal. You become aware of everything all at once. The books stacked neatly on your desk. The folded blankets. The framed Bible verse hanging beside your bookshelf. The small cross above your bed.
Roman notices too. You see it happen slowly in his expression as his eyes move quietly around the room. Not judgmentally or mockingly. Just observing.
Your chest tightens. The room tells him everything you never properly explained.
The pressure. The expectations. The suffocating neatness of it all.
Nothing about your room feels rebellious. It feels careful, controlled and clean.
Roman’s gaze lingers briefly on the religious books beside your bed before looking back at you. Suddenly you feel exposed in a way you never have before.
You cross your arms over yourself, suddenly very aware of his presence.“You shouldn’t have come here.” You tell him but the words come out quieter this time. Less certain.
Roman’s eyes stay on you. “I know.”
His honesty catches you off guard immediately. You expected teasing or some sort of an excuse. Something lighter. Instead he just looks exhausted. Worry is written all across his face.
Your throat tightens. “You could’ve gotten caught.”
“I didn’t really care.” He shrugs you off.
“You should care.”
“I cared more about you not answering me.” The softness in his voice makes your chest ache immediately.
Roman finally steps further into the room, careful and slow like he’s afraid any sudden movement might make you panic. You take a step back instinctively. Not away from him exactly. You're just feeling way too overwhelmed.
Roman notices immediately and softens instantly. “Hey...” He says quietly.
You look down at the floor because suddenly tears are burning behind your eyes again and you hate it.
You hate how emotional you’ve become lately. How easily he affects you.
Roman’s expression shifts the second he realizes. “Come here.”
Your breath catches slightly. It isn’t demanding. Barely even louder than a whisper.
Still, you hesitate.
Roman doesn’t move closer this time. Doesn’t corner you. He doesn't push, just waits. That makes it harder to resist.
Slowly, you step toward him. The second you’re close enough, Roman reaches for you carefully, like he’s still unsure whether you’ll let him touch you after everything.
The moment his hands settle gently on your arms, something inside you cracks. Your eyes sting instantly. Roman notices right away. His face changes completely. All the frustration from outside the window disappears immediately.
“Hey, hey, angel...” He says softly again, thumbs brushing lightly against your sleeves. “Talk to me.”
You shake your head quickly. “I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can.”
Your throat burns. “No, I really can’t.”
Roman studies your face carefully now. You can practically see him piecing things together.
He exhales softly through his nose before speaking again. “They got in your head again, huh...”
It isn’t really a question. Your eyes close immediately. That alone answers him.
Roman’s grip on your arms loosens slightly, gentler now. “What did they say to you?”
You let out a weak laugh that sounds awful even to your own ears. “What didn’t they say?”
He goes quiet. The room feels unbearably intimate now. You can hear everything, your breathing, his breathing, the faint ticking of your clock across the room.
Roman glances around your bedroom again briefly before looking back at you. And suddenly you realize something horrifying. This is the first time he’s seeing you outside of the version of yourself you carefully built around him.
Not the girl sneaking out. Not the girl kissing him in parks. Not the girl trying to keep up with his teasing.
Just you. Tired. Scared. Confused. And for some reason that makes tears threaten harder.
You pull slightly away from him, pacing toward your desk instead. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”
Roman turns toward you immediately. “You don’t have to know.”
“But you don’t understand.”
“Then explain it to me.”
You laugh weakly again, shaking your head. “That’s the problem.” You look down at your hands. “I don’t even know how.”
Roman watches you carefully from beside the window. You can feel his eyes on you.
That patience finally breaks something loose. “My parents think you’re going to ruin my life." The words come out rushed and quiet.
Roman’s face shifts immediately. Not defensive. Just sad.
You continue before you can stop yourself now. “They think you’re using me.” Your voice shakes slightly. “They think eventually you’re gonna get bored and leave and I’ll just…” You swallow hard. “Be destroyed afterward.”
Roman goes completely still. You wrap your arms tighter around yourself. “And the worst part is…” Your voice drops quieter. “I keep wondering if maybe they’re right.”
The silence after that feels devastating. You finally force yourself to look at him. Roman looks hurt. He looks as if you just stabbed him and pierced his heart. And somehow that makes you feel worse instantly.
“I’m sorry,” You whisper immediately. “I didn’t mean-”
“No.” His voice is soft now. “No, don’t apologize.”
You stare at him.
Roman runs a tired hand through his hair slowly before stepping closer again. “You really think I’d do that to you?”
Your throat tightens painfully. “I don’t know.”
The honesty in your answer clearly hurts him. But he nods slightly anyway like he understands why you feel that way. “That’s fair.”
Your brows pull together immediately. “No it’s not.”
“It kinda is.” He says quietly. “You barely know me.”
“That’s not true.”
Roman’s expression softens faintly. “Two months ago you didn’t even know my name.”
Your eyes burn again instantly. Because somehow hearing him say it like that makes everything feel terrifyingly fragile.
You look away quickly. “I hate this.”
“What part?”
You laugh weakly through the emotion building in your chest. “All of it.”
Roman moves closer carefully again. “You wanna know what I think?”
You glance up at him hesitantly.
"I just think you're overwhelmed."
You let out a shaky breath immediately.
“And I think...” He continues softly. “You’re trying so hard to make everybody happy that you’re destroying yourself. You have to think of what you want for once.”
That hits too close to home. Your eyes sting again instantly. Roman notices the second your expression crumples slightly. And suddenly he looks almost angry. Not at you. At the situation and at the fact you’re hurting.
He reaches for your hand carefully this time. “You don’t have to be scared of me.”
Your chest aches unbearably. “That’s not what I’m scared of.”
Roman’s fingers tighten slightly around yours. “Then what?”
You stare down at your joined hands for a long moment before answering. “Losing everyone else.”
The words barely come out above a whisper. Roman goes very still.
You finally admit it all before you can stop yourself. “I don’t know how to do this.” Your voice shakes harder now. “I don’t know how to be with you and still be the person my parents want me to be.”
The room falls silent again. Roman looks at you like your words physically hurt him. Then slowly, carefully, he lifts his free hand to your face.
You don’t pull away.
His thumb brushes gently beneath your eye where tears have started slipping down your cheeks without you realizing. “You think you have to choose.”
You close your eyes briefly. “Don’t I?”
Roman’s expression breaks slightly at that. “No.”
“But they hate this.”
“They hate me.”
“They don’t know you.”
“They know enough.”
Roman exhales softly. “And honestly, I get why they’re scared.”
That makes your eyes open immediately. “You do?”
“Yeah.” A small humorless smile touches his mouth briefly. “If I had a daughter sneaking around with some guy climbing through windows at night, I’d probably lose my mind too.”
Despite everything, a tiny laugh escapes you.
Roman’s face softens immediately at the sound. “I've missed that laugh, baby.”
Your chest tightens painfully again. God, you missed him. You missed him so much.
Roman steps closer fully this time until there’s barely any space left between you. But still, he's being so careful. Always careful with you when it matters.
“I’m not trying to take you away from your family.” He says quietly. “I would never ask you to choose me over them.”
Your throat tightens immediately.
“But...” He adds softly. “I also don’t want you pretending you don’t care about me because they’re scared.”
Tears blur your vision again. Because he sounds so sincere it almost hurts to listen to. You look down at his hoodie, your fingers curling lightly into the fabric without thinking.
Roman notices immediately but doesn’t comment. Instead he just lets you stand there close to him.
“I hated not talking to you.” You admit quietly against his chest.
His arms wrap around you immediately. Like he’d been waiting to hold you again. “I know.”
Your eyes close instantly. The exhaustion of the last few days crashes into you all at once now that he’s here.
Roman’s chin rests lightly against the top of your head. Neither of you speak for a while.
You just stand there together in the middle of your bedroom and for the first time in days, you finally stop feeling alone.
Your forehead rests against Roman’s shoulder while his arms stay wrapped around you tightly. Neither of you move for a long time. The silence feels thick now. You can feel his heartbeat beneath your cheek. Slow at first. Then not so slow anymore when your fingers curl absentmindedly into the fabric of his hoodie again.
Roman exhales quietly above you. Your stomach flips. You don’t know when touching him started feeling this necessary. Maybe it always did. You just didn’t realize it until you spent days without him.
Roman’s hand slides slowly up your back beneath your shirt just enough for his fingertips to brush warm skin.
A shaky breath catches in your throat immediately.
The reaction doesn’t go unnoticed.
His hand stills instantly. Roman pulls back just enough to look down at you. “You okay?”
Your face burns, but you nod anyway. “Yeah.” Your voice comes out quieter than intended.
Roman studies your expression carefully for another second. Checking you.
Your fingers tighten slightly against his chest before you can stop yourself. Roman notices immediately. His eyes darken faintly. The air between you shifts.
Neither of you says anything about it. Your pulse pounds harder instead.
Roman’s thumb brushes slowly along your waist beneath your shirt, barely touching your skin now.
The tiny movement sends warmth rushing through you embarrassingly fast. You swallow hard.
Roman watches you react like he’s trying very hard to stay calm himself.
And suddenly you realize something. He missed you just as badly. The thought alone makes your chest ache.
You lift your head slowly from his shoulder.
Roman’s gaze drops immediately to your mouth. Then he looks back into your eyes again like he’s forcing himself to.
You lean toward him and Roman kisses you immediately this time. No hesitation.
The second his mouth meets yours, all the restraint between you starts slipping apart. The kiss turns deeper fast. Not rough. Just needy.
Like neither of you knows how to stop once you start again.
Your hands slide upward instinctively into his hair and Roman exhales sharply against your mouth at the feeling.
The sound goes straight through you. You kiss him harder before you can think about it.
Roman’s hands tighten against your waist instantly.
Your breathing turns uneven.
You missed this so much. The warmth of his mouth. The weight of his hands. The way he kisses you like he’s trying to memorize you.
Roman pulls back barely an inch suddenly, breathing harder now. His forehead presses against yours. You can feel his restraint. The realization sends another wave of heat through you.
“What?” You whisper softly.
Roman lets out a quiet breathless laugh. “You’re making this really hard.”
Your stomach flips violently. You should probably move.
Instead you shift the two of you towards your bed, sliding your thighs over him until you're straddling him.
Roman’s hands slide automatically to steady you. The movement leaves you fully in his lap now.
Both of you freeze for a second. The tension between you becomes almost unbearable instantly.
Roman looks up at you slowly. His hands remain firm against your waist, warm and careful all at once. Your pulse pounds so hard you’re convinced he can feel it.
“You keep doing that.” He murmurs quietly.
Your brows pull together slightly. “Doing what?”
“Getting closer.”
Heat floods your face immediately. “I thought you liked it.”
Roman’s mouth twitches faintly despite himself. “You know I like it.”
The way he says it sends warmth spiraling low through your stomach.
His fingers flex slightly against your waist like he’s trying not to pull you impossibly closer.
Your eyes drop briefly to his mouth.
Roman notices immediately. “Jesus...” He mutters softly under his breath.
Then he kisses you again. This time it’s slower for maybe two seconds before all the tension between you crashes right back in.
Your hands slide into his hair again immediately, holding him closer while Roman’s grip tightens at your waist.
The kiss turns messy fast. Desperate in a way neither of you expected. Days of silence. Fear. Missing each other. It all spills into this instead.
Roman kisses you like he’s still trying to reassure himself you’re really here. And you kiss him back like you’re terrified he’ll disappear if you stop.
Your breathing grows shakier the longer it continues. Roman’s hand slides upward carefully along your back again beneath your shirt, warm palm flattening against your skin this time.
A soft sound escapes you before you can stop it. Roman stills immediately.
The reaction in his face nearly wrecks you. Not smug. He's almost overwhelmed himself.
His forehead drops briefly against yours while both of you try to breathe.
“You have no idea what you do to me.” He says quietly.
Your stomach twists hard. Because his voice sounds strained now. Not flirtatious.
You touch his face carefully, thumb brushing lightly along his jaw. Roman closes his eyes briefly at the feeling. And suddenly he looks less like the composed mysterious boy from the club and more like someone trying very hard not to lose control around you.
That realization makes something ache deep in your chest. You kiss him first this time.
Roman exhales sharply into your mouth the second you do.
One of his hands slips from your waist upward into your hair carefully, fingers tangling lightly near the back of your neck. The touch sends warmth rushing through your entire body.
Your hips shift unconsciously closer against him. Roman breaks the kiss instantly with a sharp inhale.
Your eyes widen slightly. “Sorry I didn't-”
“No.” His voice comes out rougher now. “Don’t apologize.”
Your entire body feels overheated suddenly.
Roman’s eyes stay fixed on your face, searching it carefully. “You okay?” He asks again quietly.
The concern in the middle of all this makes your chest ache.
You nod quickly. “I just…” You swallow hard. “I missed you.”
Something in Roman’s expression breaks completely at that.
His hands slide up your back fully then, pulling you tighter against him like he physically cannot help himself anymore.
“I know, I missed you too, angel.” He murmurs softly against your mouth before kissing you again.
This kiss feels different. Slower. Deeper. Still needy. Still intense. But softer underneath it now too.
Like relief finally settling in. Your fingers curl tightly into the back of his hoodie while Roman kisses along your jaw slowly.
The feeling makes your head spin. You tilt your head back slightly without thinking. Roman stills for half a second at the movement. Like even now he’s checking whether you really want this.
When you don’t pull away, his lips brush carefully beneath your jaw again. Warmth floods through you instantly.
Your breathing turns embarrassingly uneven.
Roman’s hands tighten slightly at your waist at the sound.
“You’re shaking.” He murmurs softly.
“So are you.”
That actually makes him laugh quietly against your skin.
The sound vibrates straight through you.
Everything feels too intense tonight. Your room. The silence. The fact he climbed through your window because he couldn’t stay away.
Roman lifts his head slowly to look at you again. His hair is messy now from your hands. His breathing uneven. His mouth slightly swollen from kissing you.
The sight alone nearly destroys your remaining composure.
His gaze softens immediately when he notices your expression. “What?”
You shake your head weakly. “Nothing.”
Roman studies you for another second before his hand slides gently along your cheek. “You’re staring at me.”
Heat rushes instantly to your face.
“You climbed a tree for me.”
A faint smile touches his mouth. “Yeah.”
“That’s insane.”
“You already said that.”
“But it’s still true.”
Roman laughs softly again.
Then quieter, he says. “You were worth it.”
Your chest aches so hard it almost hurts to breathe.
Before you can stop yourself, you kiss him again. Harder this time. Roman makes a soft surprised sound before kissing you back immediately with equal intensity.
His hands slide down your waist carefully, fingers gripping tighter now like he’s struggling not to completely lose himself in this too.
Your body presses instinctively closer against his. Roman exhales sharply through his nose again. Then suddenly he pulls back slightly.
Not far, just enough to look at you.
Your heart drops immediately.
“Don’t stop...” You whisper before you can think better of it. "Please."
The words hang between you. Roman’s entire expression softens instantly.
“Hey...” He murmurs quietly.
And suddenly you realize what you actually meant. Not don’t stop kissing me. Don’t pull away from me. Don’t disappear.
Roman sees it too. You can tell by the way his face changes. His hand slides carefully into your hair before he kisses your forehead softly.
“I’m here.” The words nearly break you.
Your eyes burn instantly again. Roman notices immediately and pulls you against him fully before you can hide it.
You bury your face against his neck, breathing shakily while his arms tighten around you.
“I’m here, angel.” He repeats softly against your hair.
And somehow that’s the thing that finally calms the panic that’s been living inside your chest for days.
Roman keeps holding you like that for a long moment. One hand in your hair. The other firm against your waist.
“I’m here.”
The words settle somewhere deep inside your chest, softening something that’s been painfully tight for days.
Your breathing slowly steadies against him. You don’t realize your fingers are still clutching the back of his hoodie until Roman’s hand slides gently along your spine again.
The touch sends another wave of heat through you instantly. You lift your head slowly from his shoulder.
Roman’s eyes meet yours immediately. Close like this, you can see exhaustion written all over his face now. The worry. The relief.
And underneath all of it, want. Not just physical. Wanting you near him. Wanting this. Wanting the distance between you gone completely.
Your heartbeat stumbles. Neither of you says anything for a second.
Then Roman brushes his thumb lightly beneath your eye. “You okay?”
You nod softly. “Yeah.” But your voice comes out breathless again.
Roman notices. His eyes flick briefly to your mouth before returning to your gaze. “You sure?” The gentleness in his voice makes something ache painfully in your chest.
Instead of answering properly, you lean forward and kiss him again. Roman exhales softly against your lips like he wasn’t expecting you to initiate it this time.
Then his hand slides into your hair again and he kisses you back immediately. Slow at first. Then not slow at all.
Your fingers curl tighter against him as Roman pulls you closer instinctively, his hands warm against your waist.
The kiss deepens quickly, all of the emotion spilling into it before either of you can stop it. All of it still sits between you.
You can feel it in the way Roman kisses you now. Like he’s still trying to convince himself you’re really here.
Your breathing turns uneven embarrassingly fast. Roman’s thumb brushes slowly beneath your shirt again, fingertips tracing lightly against your skin.
Another quiet sound escapes you before you can even think to stop it. Roman stills instantly.
His forehead presses against yours while both of you try to breathe.
“You’re killing me.” He murmurs softly.
Heat floods your entire face. You should probably pull back and slow this down. Instead your hands slide up into his hair again, holding him closer.
Roman lets out another uneven breath.
“Yeah...” He whispers almost to himself. “That’s not helping. Like, at all...”
A weak laugh slips out of you. The sound disappears quickly when Roman kisses you again.
His hand moves carefully along your side beneath your shirt, fingertips brushing your skin with enough hesitation that it almost hurts.
Like he’s waiting for you to stop him. You don’t.
Your fingers tighten slightly against the back of his neck instead.
Roman’s breathing catches softly. The reaction sends warmth spiraling through your stomach instantly.
You shift slightly in his lap and Roman’s grip on your waist tightens automatically. Both of you freeze for half a second. The tension between you feels overwhelming now.
“You okay?” He asks quietly again.
You nod immediately. “Yes.” The answer comes out almost too fast.
Roman’s expression softens slightly at that. Then his hand slides carefully upward beneath your shirt again, palm warm against your back now.
Your breath catches instantly. Roman kisses you softly before you can overthink the reaction.
“You can tell me to stop.” He murmurs against your mouth.
Your chest aches painfully at the fact he keeps saying things like that. Like your comfort matters more to him than anything else right now.
Instead of answering, you kiss him harder.
Roman makes a quiet sound against your lips before his hands tighten instinctively against you. That finally breaks the last bit of distance left between you.
You shift closer into him fully, your arms wrapping around his neck while Roman pulls you against his chest.
The kiss turns messy again almost immediately. Like neither of you knows how to stop touching each other now that you finally can again.
Roman’s hand slips gently into your hair while the other stays firm against your waist, grounding you against him.
Your fingers slide beneath the edge of his hoodie before you can think too hard about it. Warm skin beneath your fingertips. Roman exhales sharply. Your heart pounds harder instantly.
He pulls back slightly just to look at you. You suddenly feel shy under the intensity of his gaze. Roman notices immediately.
His free hand slides softly along your cheek.
“Hey...” He murmurs, trying to get your attention.
Your eyes flick back up to his. “You don’t have to look nervous.”
A weak breathless laugh escapes you. “Easy for you to say.”
Roman actually smiles faintly at that. “I’m trying very hard to stay calm right now.”
His hands slide down your waist carefully as he kisses you again, guiding you backward slightly onto the bed without breaking the kiss.
The movement makes your pulse spike immediately. Your back meets the mattress softly.
Roman pulls away just enough to look down at you. And suddenly the room feels impossibly quiet.
You stare up at him, your breathing uneven, his dark hoodie slightly rumpled beneath your hands. Roman brushes your hair carefully away from your face.
“You sure?” He asks softly one last time.
Your chest tightens painfully. Because somehow he still sounds more worried about you than himself.
You nod slowly. “I want this.”
Something vulnerable flickers across Roman’s face so quickly it almost hurts to see. Then he leans down and kisses you again gently this time.
His hand slides slowly along your side beneath your shirt while your fingers remain tangled in his hoodie like you’re still afraid he might disappear if you let go.
The kisses become slower after that. Softer.
The urgency melting gradually into something warm and intimate. You lose track of time completely. Everything narrows down to his hands, his mouth, his breathing against yours. Roman keeps touching you like he’s memorizing you.
Every few minutes he pauses just enough to look at you again. Like he's reassuring himself you’re still okay. And every single time, your chest aches harder for him.
The air in the room feels thick, charged with a quiet sort of gravity that pulls you closer to him. As Roman moves, his movements are deliberate, almost hesitant, as if he’s afraid the sheer reality of this moment might shatter if he moves too fast. When his hands find the hem of your shirt again, the contact is electric not a sharp shock, but a slow, blooming heat that radiates from your skin to your core.
As the fabric is eased away, the cool air of the room hits your skin for only a heartbeat before it is replaced by the overwhelming warmth of him. There is no rush, only the rhythmic, heavy sound of your shared breathing. Every inch of skin revealed feels like a confession. When his palms finally slide against the curve of your waist, the sensation is so intense it feels as though you might lose yourself, but his touch is an grounds you back into place. It pulls you back into reality.
He moves slowly, his gaze never truly leaving yours, even as the world outside ceases to exist. It isn't just the friction of skin or the heat of his body against yours. It’s the way he touches you as if he is discovering something precious, something he has waited a lifetime to hold. The boundaries between you begin to blur, the distinction between where your breath ends and his begins fading into a single, pulsing rhythm of need and tenderness.
The slow, rhythmic grace of the moment finally breaks, replaced by an urgency that feels almost impossible to contain.
As Roman moves, the sensation of him becomes a heavy, intoxicating pressure, a solid weight that anchors you to the mattress even as your senses begin to float.
You can feel every hard line of him the strength in his thighs as they press against yours, the tension in his abdomen as he moves, and the way his chest brushes against your breasts with every ragged breath.
The friction is everywhere. It’s the heat of his skin sliding against yours, the way his hands grip your hips to pull you closer, and the desperate, rhythmic pull of his body against your own.
When he sinks into you, the sensation is so different it feels less like a touch and more like a collision, a sudden, overwhelming fullness that makes your vision blur and your back arch instinctively toward him.
You find yourself clinging to him, your fingernails digging into the muscles of his back, needing to feel the solid reality of him to keep from drifting away.
Every movement is a slow, deliberate build. You feel the slide of his skin, the wet heat of his mouth as it finds the sensitive curve of your neck, and the way his breath hitches in sync with your own.
The world narrows down to the most intense sensations. The heavy thrum of his heartbeat against your chest, the friction of his hips, and the mounting, electric ache that coils deep in your belly, tightening with every pulse of movement until you are both caught in a fever of skin and heat, chasing a release that feels inevitable.
The tension reaches a fever pitch, a tightening coil in your gut that feels as though it might snap.
Every rhythmic slide of him against you is a searing, heavy pressure, the friction of skin on skin becoming a frantic heat. You are lost in the sensation of his weight the solid, muscular press of his thighs against yours and the way his hips drive against you with an increasing, desperate rhythm.
The air feels thick and humid between your bodies, smelling of skin and the intoxicating scent of him.
As the peak approaches, the sensations become almost too sharp to bear. You feel the slick glide of his body, the way he seems to press deeper with every breath, seeking a closeness that feels impossible.
Your hands are everywhere clutching at his damp shoulders, your fingers digging into the hard, trembling muscles of his back, trying to anchor yourself as the world begins to spin.
Roman’s breath is a series of low, broken groans against your neck, his movements becoming shorter, faster, and more forceful as he reaches his limit.
Then, the breaking point arrives. It’s a sudden, violent surge of sensation that starts as a deep, pulsing ache and explodes into a blinding rush of heat.
It feels as though you are being undone from the inside out, a tidal wave of electricity that crashes through your nerves, leaving you arching your back and gasping his name quietly, biting your lip to keep your voice down.
The sensation is overwhelming, a rhythmic, pulsing release that makes your entire body tremble uncontrollably.
Roman follows you instantly, his body stiffening as he lets out a jagged, guttural sound, his mouth pressed to your shoulder.
You feel his frantic release against you, a heavy, pulsing heat that seems to sync with the pounding of your own heart.
He collapses into you, his chest heaving against yours, his skin damp and searingly hot as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, both of you clinging to one another as the intense, electric tremors slowly begin to flow away.
· · ──────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────── · ·
Later, the room falls quiet again. The frantic heat between you slowly fades into something softer.
Roman lies beside you beneath the blankets, one arm wrapped securely around your waist while your head rests against his chest. The air in the room still feels warm, thick with the aftermath of everything that just happened, but now the silence feels peaceful instead of overwhelming.
For a long moment, neither of you says anything. You just listen to each other breathe.
Roman’s fingers move lazily along your bare back beneath the blanket, absentminded and gentle, like he’s still reassuring himself you’re really here.
Your eyes stay half closed. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this exhausted before. Or this calm. The realization almost scares you.
Roman presses a soft kiss into your hair. “You okay?” He murmurs quietly.
A weak smile tugs at your mouth immediately. “You ask that a lot.”
“I know.” His chest vibrates softly beneath your cheek when he speaks.
You tilt your head slightly to look up at him. In the dim light, he looks different somehow. He looks so much softer. The sharp edges you always associated with him seem blurred now, replaced by something quieter you don’t think many people ever get to see.
His hair is messy from your hands. His hoodie abandoned somewhere on the floor beside the bed. His expression tired but calm as he looks down at you.
“What?” He asks softly.
You shake your head slightly. “Nothing.”
He gives you a look that says he doesn’t believe you for a second. “You do that a lot too.”
Now it's your turn to ask. “What?”
“That.” His hand slides slowly along your back again. “Thinking too much instead of talking.”
A quiet laugh escapes you. “You climbed through my window tonight. I think you lost your right to call me out.”
Roman smiles faintly. “Fair.”
You trace small patterns against his chest absentmindedly while your thoughts slowly begin catching up to you again.
Everything about tonight feels unreal now. The silence. Roman outside your window. Him in your room. You still can’t fully believe it happened. Your stomach twists softly at the thought of what comes next.
Morning. Your parents. Reality.
As if sensing the shift in your thoughts, Roman’s hand stills slightly against your back. “What happened?” He asks softly.
You hesitate. Then finally you whisper. “I don’t want tonight to end.”
The confession hangs softly between you. Roman’s expression changes immediately.
His arm tightens around your waist slightly before he leans down, pressing another kiss against your forehead. “I know.”
Your throat burns suddenly. Because that’s the problem. He understands you too well now. You stare down at the blankets for a moment before speaking again.
“I feel like everything gets complicated the second the sun comes up.”
Roman watches you quietly. “Maybe.” He says, voice soft and full of care.
You hate that answer immediately because it’s honest. Your fingers tighten slightly against him. “I’m serious, Roman.”
“So am I.” His voice stays calm. Steady.
Roman shifts slightly beside you until he can tilt your chin upward gently, forcing you to look at him again. “Hey, baby.”
Your eyes meet his.
“We’re okay.” The certainty in his voice almost hurts.
“How do you know?”
A faint smile touches his mouth. “Because no matter what, I know you're the one for me.” His thumb brushes lightly against your jaw. "And I climbed that stupid tree just to see you."
You laugh quietly despite yourself.
Roman’s expression softens instantly at the sound. “There. That's better. I like it when you laugh.”
You study his face carefully in the dim light. “You almost fell, didn’t you?”
Roman sighs dramatically. “That branch situation was way worse than expected. I was waiting for the moment I'd drop to the ground.”
You laugh harder this time, quickly pressing your hand against your mouth to stay quiet.
Roman grins faintly watching you.
Your laughter fades slowly into quiet again as you settle closer against him. Roman pulls the blankets higher around you both instinctively.
Outside, the world remains dark and still beyond your bedroom window. For once, your mind finally feels quiet too. You trace your fingers lightly along his arm.
“Roman?” You mumble his name quietly.
“Mm?”
You hesitate. Then quietly, you finally ask. “Did you really think I was done with you?”
The question makes him go still for a moment. His eyes drop briefly toward the ceiling before returning to you. “Yeah...” He admits softly. "And it scared me a little.”
Your chest tightens immediately. Roman lets out a small breath through his nose.
“You disappeared.” His hand moves slowly against your back again. “And every time I tried to talk to you, it felt like you were already gone.”
Guilt twists painfully in your stomach. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
You close your eyes briefly. “No, I really am.”
Roman studies your face for a second before brushing his fingers gently through your hair. “I know that too.”
The tenderness in his voice nearly undoes you all over again. Your throat tightens.
Because the truth is you almost did run. Not because you stopped caring. Because you cared too much. And that terrified you. You curl closer against him instinctively.
Roman’s arms tighten around you immediately, protective without thinking.
The room falls quiet again. This time it lasts longer.
Your eyes grow heavier gradually while Roman continues tracing slow patterns along your back.
At some point, you realize he’s watching you.
“You should sleep, angel.” He murmurs softly.
“You too.” You whisper back.
“I will.”
But he still doesn’t close his eyes. You study him sleepily.
“What?”
Roman shakes his head slightly. “Nothing.”
“You’re staring.”
A faint smile appears on his mouth. “Just making sure you’re really here.”
Your chest aches so suddenly you can barely breathe around it. You reach up slowly, touching his face gently. Roman leans into your hand without hesitation.
“I’m here. There's nowhere else I'd rather be.” You whisper.
His eyes soften immediately. “Good.” He whispers back quietly.
The word settles somewhere deep inside you. Your eyelids feel heavier now, your body warm and exhausted tangled beside him beneath the blankets. For the first time in weeks, you don’t feel alone inside your own head.
Roman’s fingers continue moving slowly through your hair as the silence deepens around you.
Outside the window, the night stretches on quietly. And eventually, with your cheek against his chest and his heartbeat steady beneath your ear, you fall asleep in his arms.
Tags: double penetration, oral, p in v, rough, tying.
This is really heavy smut so don’t read if you don’t feel like it!!!
a/n I’m so sorry this took so long and if its not very good idk what happened but its not my best work… enjoy
And idk it’s it confusing but Roman usually says princess and Hollis baby
NOT proofread
You had moved to LA from a small town to escape your miserable planed future. But ofc you werent really made out of money so you had to find affordable living situation.
Your best friend from LA had recommended sharing a apartment with someone. She had found thru friend that two guys were looking for a third roommate.
As first you weren’t sure if you wanted to live with two guys as a girl, but really did you even have any other choice.
So now you were living with two unreally attractive boys.
And sometimes when you were bored you checkd if one of the boys were home. And usually it was a no.
but sometimes there was one out and one home it was perfect. you had fucked both of them but not together. you had promised to never tell one another. but ig that rule was broken last night when all of you had gone out.
at one point when all of you were high and drunk you catched them staring at you with the same look they had when you were on top of them. at that moment you were dancing against a random guy.
You closed your eyes and blamed the substances on what you had seen.
not long and you felt a thight grip on your wrist.
You opened your eyes and saw hollis and roman staring at you with black eyes. They led you away from the guy you were dancing with. They led you to the car. Before you could argue roman opened his mouth
“ what do you think you are doing dancing against another mans dick”
Your mouth fell open and eyes went wide. You could have never guessed what was roman gonna say. Because it wasn’t a new thing for you to dance or get close with random guys at the club.
“ what the hell are you talking about roman as if i wasn’t allowed”
Hearing your answer Hollis stepped closer
“ Baby you aren’t, from now on you are ours”
“ we know you hooked up with both of us”
“ didn’t think we would find you princess”
You just stared them in a shock. You didn’t know what to answer. You knew they were bound to find out sometime. Just not know. As you were staring at them hollis lifted you up without saying a word and placed you in the backseat of his car.
Roman sat beside you and hollis went to the driver’s seat.
As soon as the car rolled out of the parking lot romans hand found you thigh. He grabbed your face and made your eyes face his. His eyes were full of lust and hunger made just for you. He pulled you into a wet and deep kiss. It felt like he had been craving you for decades.
He slid his hand higher up on your thigh until he reached you lace panties. He massaged you clit thru the panties. As he pressed your clit more your moan slipped to his mouth making his bulge grow in his jeans. The moan made you look at the rearview mirror and you saw hollis looking at you while rubbing his own growing bulge.
Hollis pressed the gas pedal and made you shift closer to roman. Practically making you just almost go on top of roman but not really. Just close enough to feel his bulge. He let out a light moan as you pressed against his dick.
You and roman made out so insanely that you hadn’t realised that you had arrived on your apartment until hollis grabbed your waist and pulled you out of the car.
He carried you to the door romans hand found following closely behind both of you. He came to open the door and walked to your bedroom hollis following with you on his arm. As he reached the bed he gently put you down on to the bed.
They both looked at each other and a small grin formed to both their mouths. They walked over to you roman ahead.
“ princess you need a safe word. What would you like it to be”
Roman looked at you with fake sympathy on his face. The grin formed on his lips gave him away. You were too stunned to speak and you made eye contact with hollis. It didn’t help he had the same grin on his lips, but he had more love on it as he always did.
“ it for your own best baby, don’t be shy”
“ Mhm I don’t know… Can’t you or roman pick”
Roman gave hollis a devilish smirk
“ mhm what if we just don’t have one… you have to just get away from us if it get soo overwhelming”
hollis nodded with his head and looked at you with the most pleading eyes. Who even can say no to those eyes so you nodded and hoped that you could walk tomorrow. Even though you knew that was just a distant dream.
Roman lifted you shirt off and hollis pulled your pants down. leaving you with only your underwear that was almost see through.
They just stared at you for a long moment taking you in. Them staring at you made your face go red.
Hollis moved closer to your head on other side of the bed. now both of them were looking at your face from close distance. Hollis bend down and whispered in your ear
“ Why would you be embarrassed of us staring at you when you have the most beautiful body”
Roman joined in
“ and we have seen all this before but I know at least I cant have enough of it”
He started kissing your neck leaving love bites behind that you will struggle to cover tomorrow. Hollis went back to the end of the bed. He slowly pulled your panties down. Insanely slow. making you twitch needing his touch.
He pushed your legs wider and placed his finger tips on your clit squirm under his fingers. You pushed yourself against his fingertips so he would apply more pressure.
“ tsk tsk where your patience baby”
And with that he pushed his fingers inside of you with no warning making you scream so loud the whole building must have heard you.
He attached his mouth on your clit making you feel like you were in heaven. You didn’t know how he was so good at eating you but it was incredible.
as Hollis was working with your pussy Roman was making sure your body was covered with his kisses. When he had reached every corner of your body. He reached to unclasp your bra and took one of your tits in his mouth while playing with the other one with his hand. You moaned with the overwhelming pleasure of Roman pinching your nipple and Hollis working with your clit. You hoped that it would never end.
As you we’re thinking about that Hollis and Roman withdrew from you making you whimper at the loss of their magical touch.
“ what the hell…”
They both stared at you with amusement all over their faces. Without a word they switched places. Both had huge bulges staring at you but not for long. They took their jeans and boxers with quick swift. You already knew both of them had illegally huge dicks and at that moment you regretted not picking a safe word ( ofc they would stop if you told them dw)
Hollis made his way to your mouth placing his dick on your lips before you opened your mouth. Before talking it in you swirled you tongue on the tip knowing that was hollis’s weakness. Slowly taking his length in your mouth and using your hands to cover the length that you couldn’t fit in your mouth. He took your hair in his hands not to push more to steady himself.
At the end of the bed Roman lined his dick and pushed himself inside with one punishing thrust. Even though Hollis had warmed you up with his fingers and mouth you screamed onto Hollis’s dick making him whimper louder than before.
Roman thrusts were fast and punishing leaving you now time to process what was happening. He had you moaning in Hollis dick. You couldn’t even move. Hollis took his dick out for a moment and that made Roman stop too taking himself out of you leaving you shaking and confused why didn’t he let you come.
“ your taking us so well baby, but you have to make little more effort even tho we love seeing you like this too”
He wanted you to try to suck him even tho Roman was destroying your pussy. You didn’t have time to complain before they were already back inside. You gripped to romans back with your acrylics leaving red marks that probably will leave bruises for days. That made Roman moan, you could bet he liked the feeling of pain. He was fucking you in missionary and it made possible for him to admire your body and you giving his best friend head. Roman loved seeing you so submissive. The sight of you made him moan your name loud and clear. He leaned to grab your tit and kissed your stomach. He worshiped you.
You felt your climax coming closer making you clench around him. He withdraw his hand from your tit and put his thumb on your clit. Making sure to get you come on his dick. Not long and your orgasm came. Your legs started to shake and and moaned to hollis dick making him twitch. He rode you orgasm out before switching places with hollis.
Roman didn’t come and put his dick in your mouth. He got a chair and sat down ready to watch you two fuck. You were staring at Roman and didn’t notice that Hollis was getting rope from the closet. He tied your hands to the bed so you couldn’t move. Roman and Hollis looked at each other chuckling a bit.
“Are you ready baby? Can you still take my dick after Roman”
You were so fucked out of you mind that you couldn’t answer with words so you just nodded. That was not enough for hollis he needed to be sure his baby was gonna be okay.
“ I need words love words”
“ Yes Hollis”
You let out not louder than whisper. As soon as you had said it Hollis pushed himself in one punishing push. Making you scream at the overstimulated feeling.
“ Do we need to put duck tape on your mouth princess or can you lower you tone”
“ I love hearing you but I don’t want to leave this room to tell the neighbours why is our roommate screaming, do you”
You looked at Roman and shook you head before lifting your gaze back to Hollis who was staring at your pussy with amusement seeing his dick move in and your. He was almost taking himself out before slamming it back inside making it hard to keep the screams inside. He lifted you leg to his shoulder making you feel him deeper. You could feel his veins and bet he was in your stomach. This position was making sure you were gonna cum hard. You felt yourself clench around his dick and so did he. He sped his pace making your orgasm come hard. You squirted and your body went all numb while he still rode your orgasm out.
He slowed his pace to a punishing slow. Making you plead for him to fuck you harder but he wanted to see you squirm under him. He just slowed the pace and when you didn’t expect it he fasted his pace to punishingly fast and again to slow. Edging you and making you a moaning mess.
Roman added his finger on your clit. Hollis’s dick and Romans finger made you feel your climax coming closer. Hollis felt you pulsing on his dick. He gave Roman a signal that you couldn’t understand.
“baby do you trust us to make you feel good”
You nodded and came again. The way they were making you come so many times you knew you couldn’t walk good for a nice few days..
Roman went to take the ropes off of your hands. You thought they were done. Why would you even think that you thought. Roman took you on his lap inserting his dick back into your pussy. Giving you slow thrusts earning whimpers out of you.
You heard Hollis putting lube on his dick before coming behind you. He slowly pushed himself in you ass. While Roman tired to ease the pain rubbing you clit with his thumb.
Hollis took his time to get you to adjust to him. He waited until you gave him the green light to start thrusting slowly.
“Fuck this ass is so tight”
“ Yea so is this perfect pussy”
They were raining compliments to you. Roman was thrusting harder and harder you could feel him getting closer. As you felt Roman coming near his climax you felt Hollis too.
“ baby come for us the last time”
That made you come over the edge and come harder than ever.
“ Princess let us come inside pretty please”
Roman begged with pleading eyes so did Hollis. You nodded and could feel thick robes of come shoot inside of you. They rode their orgasm and withdraw their members earning all of you to hiss at the loss.
Hollis ran to the bathroom to get a wet towel to clean you up. Waiting for Hollis to come back you went to lay on Romans chest. He put his hand on your hip moving it up and down. Hollis cleaned you up, you still were really sensitive so you let out few hisses.
When he was done he came to lie beside you like spooning you. He put his hand in your hair and played with your hair.
“ You did amazing princess”
“ yes baby that was so good of you taking us so well”
“ We love you so much never leave us princess”
You had your eyes closed already but you could feel them admiring you. You nodded and gave both of them a loving kiss before falling asleep.
