i look at the masses around me
and wonder if they are managing
as well as they appear to be.
to me, they look so robust.
they are tall pillars of society,
balancing their weights with
infinite precision, visible faults rare.
sure, within they are cracking and fading
as old furniture does, but they are so good
at pretending everything is okay.
i sit in the heat of the heavy
value of their productive lives
and squirm in my alienation.
they can tell, i sense they can
with every fibre of me.
they stare right to the back
of my skull and flinch.
my weights are splintered before
i could even arrange them,
and instead i am heavy with all
i cannot do, with each rise
of a fresh, overwhelming day.
the angry ball of every uncompleted task
bristles in my stomach.
teach me! i want to screech.
teach me how to live.
i was never made for this.
