THIS EDUCATION SYSTEM IS FUCKING SCREWED. YOU CAN'T FUCKING TELL A STUDENT THAT THEY ARE ELIGIBLE FOR SO MANY DAMN COURSES AND WHEN WE OPT FOR THEM, WE DON'T FREAKING GET POSTED TO THE COURSE BUT INSTEAD GET POSTED TO SOME SCHOOL THAT WE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED, LET ALONE OPT FOR. AND WHEN WE WANT TO APPEAL, YOU WON'T LET US SELECT A COURSE BECAUSE SUDDENLY WE AREN'T FUCKING ELIGIBLE FOR THEM. DO YOU KNOW HOW SCREWED THIS WILL MAKE EVERYONE FEEL? LIKE SUDDENLY HAVING TO TAKE A COURSE THAT WE HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN AND NEVER ACTUALLY WANTED TO TAKE? HAVING TO REPLAN EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE WE SUDDENLY AREN'T ELIGIBLE FOR THE COURSE. IT'S LIKE WE'RE BASICALLY BEING FORCED INTO SOME BLOODY COURSE AND SCHOOL THAT NOBODY WANTS TO TAKE. YOU'RE BASICALLY GOING 'OH HEY, THEY DIDN'T DO WELL AND NOBODY WANTS THIS COURSE AT THIS SCHOOL SO LET'S JUST CHUCK THEM THERE. PROBLEM SOLVED' HELLO. YOU DON'T FRIGGIN PUT STUDENTS IN SCHOOLS THAT WEREN'T EVER ON THEIR LIST OF CHOICES. IT IS SO BLOODY WRONG.
Seriously, I'm majorly pissed off. I think I screwed my life up so badly. I know you say that when I look back next time, getting posted to a school that I didn't pick is going to look like a small issue but honestly, what I care about is now. I feel so bloody fucked.
Why does everything bad happen to me? It's like no matter how hard I work or try, I never get what I want. There's always that someone who's better, more hardworking, smarter, whatever. I think I've been through a lot already, maybe I've gone through too much.. I wouldn't know. I just want some good in my life instead of the constant bullshit. Sometimes, I just wish I would overdose again and maybe, just maybe, I won't wake up this time. I can't actually cut myself anymore because of all the scars and every time I want to cut, I think about that promise I made you. But hey, didn't we both break that promise already?
Sighh. I don't know what to do. I would say let's hope for the best but the best is never actually anything good.