#30231

[leomacgivena]

ぬしによう似たやや子を生んで 川という字に寝てみたい

都々逸botさんはTwitterを使っています

[niarin-blog]

Balancing The NaNoWriMo

After taking two days off from NaNoWrimo I struggled to get back into the swing of things. I completely lost motivation and the panic that I had in the beginning, not knowing how to come up with the first or the next line, overwhelmed me yet again. But yesterday I decided that I just needed to write. It always comes back to that for me. Just Show Up. It's about looking past all that ugly self-doubt and smack it right in the face with another word, sentence of paragraph. It doesn't have to add up to pages and pages of brilliance, or even anything interesting. It just has to be something. Anything. A sign that I haven't given up, that I'm still doing it, still writing, perhaps slower and less enthusiastic, but at least writing. And I lost motivation in the worst way. Thinking that my story was pointless, lame, the most pretentious and badly put-together story anyone could ever come up with. I lost complete faith. Had no idea what the hell my characters were doing or where it all was going. My sentences were short, stuttered or un-readably long and comma-crazy, without enough adjectives and way too many verbs. But today, inspired by the Twitterverse and the incredible achievements of fellow NaNoWrimo's, I wrote 2,999 words and passed the 30,000 mark. Insane! Now, in hindsight, I know that you have to have those days of absolute disgust, the lack of motivation and loss of self. They have to be there, to balance the good days out. Because then the good days are So Good. The brain needs recovery time, it needs to re-group and re-focus. I'm not saying my words today were brilliant or interesting, or my sentences necessarily well-constructed, but they were words, and they were mine. And right now, that's all I'm happy with. Thank You Tweeters! NR