#30letters30days

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 7

A letter to your ex girlfriend

Its been years since I've seen you and equally as long since I talked to you. We were young and I was stupid. But I really cared about you, I hope you know that. I wonder if you still think of me sometimes. I wonder what you remember me as and if you remember all the good things like I still do sometimes. It doesn't matter, but I still wonder from time to time. Everything happens for a reason. People come and go, and there's nothing we can do about it, and you taught me that. You taught me a lot. Everything that happened back then forced me to grow up, and now I see the world a lot differently. I've got a lot to thank you for, and I would hope you feel the same. Good luck. Maybe I'll see you again someday. 

Love Always,

Jordan

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 6

A letter to a stranger

Stranger:

I don't know who you are. So I guess I'll just share some things I've learned over the past 18 years. Here it goes:

Generally, things won't go the way you plan them. That perfect scenario in your head of how you want everything to be might not be even close to reality. But you have to learn to be ok with that, and adapt. Learning to make the best of a not so perfect situation, that's what it's all about. 

People come and go. Constantly. And a lot of the time, the ones that go are the ones that you never thought would. It isn't easy, and no, it won't get easier each time it happens. You'll learn to live through it, but it's gonna suck. 

If they replaced you, they probably weren't great friends to begin with.

Don't compromise the things that matter to you. Ever. Not worth it.

Changing is good, just don't lose yourself in the process.

Don't wast time fighting with people you care about. 90% of the time you're going to look back in the future and realize how stupid it was. 

Just chill. Life's not a race.

Go with your gut. 

Be easily amused. Enjoy the simple stuff.

They lied. It's a plant, not a drug.

Cigarettes generally aren't just a "once in a while thing". Don't be fooled. 

No one on facebook wants to hear you complaining about your life in long, drawn out paragraphs. 

Improvisation is a valuable skill. 

Don't throw away a good opportunity just because you're only looking at the negatives. 

You don't know if you don't try.

Im done for now, stranger. I could go on. Won't do that though. Good luck out there.

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 5

A letter to your dreams:

Sometimes you're my only solace. 

Grow.

But there's one thing I ask:

Never let me forget, no matter what happens.

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 4

(I have four, but this is his birthday.)

Steven,

Happy Birthday. The year wasn't an easy one for you, but I'm glad you were able to get through it all and make the best of your situation. I'm glad I was able to have my brother home for my last summer before college; although it did make leaving a hell of a lot more difficult to do. I know me leaving was rough on you too, but this summer was one for the books dude. Haha. 

I hope this year you find what you're looking for, even if we might not understand what that is. I just hope you're smart about it all. Slow down, brother. If she really loves you, she's not going anywhere. Happy birthday dude, and have a great year.

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 3

A letter to your parents.

Mom,

The past few months have been a big change. But I feel like I did the right thing. I fought through the rough parts of being this far away. But I'm doing better now, and I know that's something you're glad to hear. I couldn't have gotten this far without you. I know all you want to see is the five of us making good with our lives and following the dreams we made. I wanna do good, for me and you. Because you were there for every step of the way. And, yeah, we had our differences and we fought a lot. And looking back, it was all stupid because fighting with the ones you love is just a waste of time. Now that I've been away from the people I love for a while, I think about that a lot. I think about all the time thats wasted fighting. And for what? It never gets you anywhere. But If there's one thing I've learned, its not to look back. "Chin up, kiddo. Eyes on the prize," I can hear you saying in my head. You've taught me a lot, mom. You gave us everything you could. 

When your sickness started getting worse, and I couldn't be there for you...it hurt. It still hurts. I know you don't want me to worry. But how's that possible? I think too much. The worse it gets, the harder it is to cope with. All I want is to see you get better. I don't know what I'd do--what any of us would do--if anything ever happened to you. And sometimes, I get choked up thinking about it all. I don't want to see you in pain. It hurts. And the fact that I can't even be there for my own mom........But I know you don't want me thinking like that. You want me living my dream. You want me to do great things. So that's what I'm gonna do. For us both. Love you, mom.

Dad,

There's a lot to say. And I'm not really sure I could get it all into words even if i tried. I have tried. Never works out. Not sure what to say. I want to say that the past is the past. I don't wanna dwell in the past. I used to want to be pissed off and resentful. But that never got me anywhere. No point in that. So I'm done with the past. It is what it is.

But now things are pretty good, for the most part. You helped me a lot recently dad, and I want you to know I do see that. You've tried to give me a lot of wisdom recently. I think now that I'm older, you don't want to see me making stupid mistakes. I think it worries you and Steven and Angela a lot more than it should. Guess its because I'm the youngest our of the 3 of us. I think you guys are just starting to accept the fact that this is it. I'm starting on my own. And Im going to screw up sometimes. Im gonna make my fair share of stupid mistakes. Its just the way life works. I'll learn from other people's mistakes as much as I can, but making a few of my own is pretty inevitable.

Yeah, you seemed worried about me coming down here, but not 'worried' the way most people think of it. But I made it so far. You gotta trust me once in a while. I know I have a lot to learn, but I'm getting there. This year showed me a lot. I sort of see what being on my own is like. I got to start my own life; less control, making my own life choices. I know you wanted me to have that. So it was good I moved away, in the end. And, yeah, it was rough at first. But I didn't give up. I want you to be proud of that. You made an effort in the past few years to really be in my life. Yeah, there were some bad fights. I think we both said a lot of things that we didn't mean, and some of it we really did mean. I guess things are a lot better than they were though.

We're starting to see eye to eye. We're both learning to listen, not just hear. 

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 2

A letter to your crush.

Taylor,

Yeah. Cheesy. But I don't give two shits cus you won't see this, ever, so HA. The whole reason I decided to write this one to you is honestly, in the months I've spent in NC you're the only crush I got. At the Harvard show, you were the cutest girl I had seen all night. I was just there to hear some new bands and chill with some friends and then I met you. I know you saw me checking you out, yea, I did, whatever. Haha. You were cute. And funny. And don't worry, if a mosh pit had opened up I totally would have taken a fist for you, just saying lol. 

 Anyways, I like you. You're an awesome girl. I love you're smile and you've got pretty gorgeous eyes. You seem pretty real. You're easy to talk to. And you make me laugh a lot. And I like all that. But then there's the fact that you live an hour away. I kinda like to think that if we saw each other all the time, and I talked to you all the time, then I probably would of already asked you out by now. But seeing as how I don't have my car, and you don't come here that often anymore, that hasn't happened. It sucks. But who knows? Anything can happen, right? I mean, if you never try, you'll never know.

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 1(pt. 2)

Jasmine,

I miss you. And mr. poopy paws. Im sorry I went this far away, especially since its your senior year and all, but when I'm home it'll be like I was never gone. And plus, hopefully you'll be moving in with me, matt, and alex really soon. Seriously though, you're one of the few people from high school I still care about talking to. You were also one of the few who was actually around for me from July, up until I had to leave unexpectedly for this place. So, thanks is an understatement. I cant wait to walk and get slushies after having a bowl in the yard. And we need to see if the Indian store is still open. Speaking of Indian, I hope the Buddist class on overcoming anger went well. Lol. I can't even.......anyways...haha. I'll be home in time for you're graduation, so you're going. End of story. You are the Ryan to my Wilfred. See you soon.

[cricketsthrowtheir-voice]

Day 1

A letter to my best friend. There's a few people this letter can go out to. i've though about it, and I don't want to choose. So I'm going to have to write at least 3 of these. Here it goes (in no particular order):

Matt,

You're pretty much my brother man, simple as that. First off, we made our Junior and Senior years of high school kick ass. And seeing as how Freshman and Sophomore years pretty much sucked for me, I didn't see much prospect for my last two years of high school. But meeting you and Kaba, and Lena, and everyone else from our boces class turned everything around. The chefs hated our stupid asses and half the time we just wandered the building, scewed around in dry storage, or attempted to smoke cigarettes on school grounds with Hoeseph. What the hell? Haha. Hollywood Undead and Kottonmouth Kings. Im not even gonna say more than that cus you already know. Haha. 4/20 and spilling swedish fish all over the back of Alissa's car, and Roxanne (rest in peace). Anyways you get the point. You're still a Fegget. And I'm stoked for September/November. I hope you're still down to move, man. Trust me, its actually not that bad here. 

Alexandra,

Seriously, where the hell do I begin? How is it that in the months that I've known you, you already know me like someone who's been around for years? I guess for starters, I spent almost every day since January hanging out with you or you and Ross. Literally. Almost. Every. Day. Haha. But I wouldn't change that. Hanging out with you kept me out of a lot of shit that could have really screwed me over. And not only that, but to spend almost every day with someone and not get sick of them is pretty rare. But I never got tired of hanging out with you. I'm not gonna get all deep on here, seeing as how you most likely won't see this anyway. But I'll be honest, when you dropped out and went back to Jersey, I really didn't know what I was gonna do. It left me feeling pretty lost. I mean, what do you do when your closest friend in college, one of the only people you care to talk to and one of the few who isn't into all of the scumbaggery that goes down at our campus, leaves? It sucked. Hurt like hell. But I understand why you had to go. You did the right thing. Even though I wanted to be pissed off that you were leaving me and Ross, I couldn't be. I had to just accept it, support you, and see what happened next. And ya know what? Im good now. And I think maybe you leaving for a while might have been a good thing for me. I've branched out a lot here. I've gotten used to being in NC and I've met some half decent people. Sure, some of them are still into a lot of drugs and shit that I'm not in to. But that doesn't really make them 'bad'. You leaving sort of forced me to put things into a more real-life perspective here. And I'm ok with that. We had so many awesome times while you were here. We had the best smoke spots. You got to see me trashed. I mean, all in all it was a great time, and ya know what's better about it? Its noooot even over. Haha. You might be gone for now, but in a few months, Me, You, Matt, and Jasmine are gonna be livin' it up ALLL the days. :P (how many of them, Alex?) Haha. That part was just for you. I miss you, but I'll see you soon. And thanks Alex, for everything.