#31.07.16

[dreamings-free]

that’s the London house. note the wallpaper and windowsill behind Lottie. and the striped chairs  [source]

now whether he’s there now or it’s an old pic.. who knows. but it’s that house.

[wreneuropeanwriting-blog]

31.07.16, Paris, France

Notre Dame, the cathedral of world renown and respect, is a building so ancient that it is nearly a thousand years old. The inside is well furnished and carefully taken care of, covered in gold, velvet, carved stone and wood, as well as respectfully lit candles in spiraled holders before the alters of ancient saints, stern faces that looked down from their pedestals, mostly unadorned and simple, but beautiful to behold; carved by worshipful hands. The artistic value of the cathedral’s contents alone placed it far ahead in the world, and the modern works on the Cathedral clearly mirrored the ancient arts that were contained in the ancient stone walls. Many saints even had their own small chapels off of the main, cavernous hall of worship, including La Virgin de Guadalupe and the Modern Pope, showing the multicultural scope of the French icon. They had their own stained glass windows, altars, and texts contained within the gated rooms, but were open to the icons of Mary and Jesus Christ that filled the main hall. The central chapel itself was majestic in its grandeur and massive open spaces. All manner of murals, sculptures and basins of holy water were illuminated by the large round windows of many colors that bathed the marble floors and stone pillars. The careful splendor of the place of worship extended to the mighty, loft organ, the clean, neat pews, and the stone floor upon which steps and whispers were carried to the heights of the lofty ceiling. However, much of the actual Cathedral was shrouded in mysteries, blocked off from the general public. The bells, which rang throughout Notre Dame in a beautiful song, could not be seen, but only heard in their duties. The treasury and countless chambers were barred with large, gothic doors made of dark wood, massive enough to be intimidating to think about moving. Though much of the church was open to men and women of all walks of life, the gothic cathedral was guarded closely, by both the men and women who kept it and the leering gargoyles that perched upon its eaves and sprang from its sharp gray façade. Lions and ghouls, saints and apostles all worked to deter enemies from the peaked, multicolored windows and the thick wooden doors.

[threegood-things]

31.07.16

1. I had a lazy lazy morning. 2. My boyfriend took the baby out and I got some quick vacuuming done. Need to do more but it's a start at least. 3. Saw my best friend, her kids and her mum this afternoon. We went to lunch and the kids had a brilliant time.

[leeminholinoing]

Louis is in Vegas, Louis is in Vegas, Louis is...

[i-told-you-im-okay-i-lied]

31.07.16

Ich weiß nicht, ob es mir körperlich schon mal schlechter ging als in den letzten Tagen. Ich geh nicht mehr raus, weil mir schlecht ist. Ich kann kaum noch in Gesellschaft essen, weil ich denk, ich kann das Essen nicht drin behalten. Ich sitz nur noch in meinem Zimmer und weiß nicht was ich machen soll. Ich wollte heute mit den Hunden die letzte Runde laufen, nachdem ich 2 Tage kein Fuß vor die Tür gesetzt hab. Aber was war? Ich hab Schuhe angezogen, die Leine genommen, bin runter…und kam nur 2 Stockwerke tiefer, grade so zur Mitte des Treppenhauses, dann blieb ich stehen. Ich dachte wirklich, jetzt ist es zu spät und ich übergeb mich. Also blieb ich stehen und atmete durch. Einmal, Zweimal, Dreimal.. Ich überlegte ob ich jetzt weiter runter soll, ob ich das schaff, oder ob ich wieder hoch soll. Meine Beine zitterten, zumindest fühlten sie sich so an. Und dann bin ich schnell hoch, ließ die Hunde auf der Hälfte stehen und bat meine Mutter zu gehen. Innerlich hab ich am ganzen Körper gezittert, aber das sah man vermutlich nicht. Mein Herz raste, ich bekam kaum Luft. Und meine Mutter hat mich nur angemotzt, dass das daran liegt das ich nicht auf das hör, was man mir sagt. Das ich rausgehen soll. Das ich Sport machen soll. Mein Gott! Ich WILL ja raus. Ich WILL Sport machen. Aber wie denn?! Ich trau mich nicht mehr raus weil mir so schlecht is. Nicht einmal im Wald fühl ich mich wohl. Jeder Mensch der mir entgegen kommt löst Herzrasen in mir aus und ich würde am liebsten umdrehen um ihm nicht zu begegnen. Aber das geht nicht. Ich will doch einfach nur mal meine Ruhe. Mit niemandem reden. Mich nicht rechtfertigen. Niemandem absagen müssen. Einfach…Ruhe.

[birkucukbalik-blog]

fakat cahit, bu derin bir çaresizlik. anlatamam..

[allforvixx]

[VÍDEO]

Confiram o cut da apresentação do VIXX  no programa Heroes of Remix, com remix de sua música, “Destiny Love”, no dia 31.07.16.

[ptcharliesd]

Crippling guilt is choking me. Even about things that were out of my control. Still feel like I'm the one to blame. I try to tell myself it wasn't my fault but I'm close to tears and in pain and if this is what defeat feels like then I understand why people want to emerge the winner. Everything is raw. It's like my chest is ripped open. And there's no one who understands.