It was as though the land had been dealt a great wound and bled a hundred years. Terror washed across the remnants of humanity like a wave: What power could fell mountains? Turn all the world dark, and bleed a sea from stones?
Quote of the ep: Mike Chang and Tina Cohen-Chang, no relation!
Rating: 1/6 on the Kinsey Scale, CAUSE THEY CUT THE FUCKING BOX SCENE, but points for the cute Brittana moments
Best song: Extraordinary Merry Christmas
Worst song: River
Cat:
Thank you @caffeine-high for letting me use a photo of Muis for this episode!
Now for the Review: When I asked @caffeine-high whether I could use a photo of Muis for the upcoming Christmas episode recap, I apologised to them in advance for attaching Muis's cuteness to a bad episode. But I have the power of Muis and anime (????) on my side to protect me.
Okay, maybe it is not as bad. I remember disliking the season 4 Christmas episode more, and the season 5 Christmas episode is so infamously bad that people act like it doesn't exist (up to the point that I am considering skipping it for this blog, just to commit to the bit). Still, the streak of "good season 3 episodes" ended after one episode when this thing aired. Let's dive into it.
The New Directions are decorating the choir room and Mercedes sings All I Want For Christmas, with couples (except for Klaine) being cute together. I think the waggle that Santana does to Brittany with her tinsel-clad arms outstretched was called a penguin moment. This scene was actually supposed to be later in the episode, but more on that later.
Artie got noticed by a local broadcast, I think, for his directorial debut with West Side Story. As a result, he is asked to direct a Christmas special that will be aired on TV.
Speaking of directorial debuts, this episode was directed by Matthew Morrison, who plays Mr. Schue. Why? Idk, but it’s neat!
Anyway, Artie knows who to ask for entertainment, namely the glee club. And Chewbacca. Yes, Chewbacca is in this episode. I actually don't remember if it is Artie who came up with the Star Wars themed Christmas special, but it is here and Chewbacca appears in a daydream about the special.
The glee kids are stoked, especially since this is on TV and non-commercial, I guess, since commercial appearances would disqualify them from the glee club competition (remember season 1 episode 11 Mattress?)
Rachel is obnoxiously excited about this, and she wants to have a prominent role in this TV special. And this isn’t the only thing she’s obnoxious about. She wants bling. She definitely wants bling! And she wants Finn to give it to her.
To show Artie what she can do, Rachel’s asked Blaine to sing an upbeat duet with her called Extraordinary Merry Christmas. Hey, that’s the title of the episode! It’s actually one of my guilty pleasure songs and it is an original song written for Glee. There’s another one, Christmas Eve With You, which I prefer, but it’s only on the Christmas album.
Since we must have our obligatory Rachel Christmas solo, she later sings River, a song I find so boring that my Spotify playlist is called “Glee Christmas, without the shitty season 5 episode and River”, since it’d be a shame to add River since it’s an instant skip anyway. Artie is indeed impressed and Rachel pointedly makes clear that she’d be more impressive if her ears were adorned with bling, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Poor Finn has no choice. I don’t remember the exact context of this, but this is also the episode where Finn says to Rachel: “Who told you, Kurt?” “No!”
And then Kurt passes by them and says “Yes” and Rachel gasps. Glee sometimes remembers it’s a comedy. But apart from this scene, nothing about the Finchel storyline really stands out to me. Typical, since I don’t like Finchel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I do know that at one point in the episode, Finn tells Rachel he’s bought her a star, since she is a star. As in, he paid a probably scummy website to get a certificate that claims that there’s a star named Rachel Berry somewhere. The only reason I remember this is because fans bought a star in Cory’s name after he died, and this episode served as an inspiration. Anyway, we’ll come back to Finchel later.
There is another power couple that needs to take center stage. Sorta.
There is this adorable scene where Blaine gives Kurt a handmade ring. It’s made out of juicy fruit wrappers, which is Kurt’s favourite flavour of gum. Blaine gives a lovely speech about how this is a promise ring and how he promises Kurt all kinds of things, like to love him, and to bring him cookies, and what not. Adorable!
It unfortunately got cut from the episode.
We knew it existed, since they released a promotional image before the episode aired:
Obviously, when it didn’t air, people were confused and very, very upset. I am included in this “people”. I have more to say about this, but I will do that at the end of this recap, cause trust me, it’s a journey. This scene did canonically happen, since Kurt actually wears this ring during All I Want For Christmas, which is also why we know this song was originally placed later in the episode. But alas.
This also isn’t the only thing that got cut. Santana had a solo called Santa Baby and she sang it while Finn was shopping for bling. Luckily, it’s on the album.
But yeah, that’s all happening. Artie has his vision: Kurt and Blaine host a Christmas party where others attend! It’s cool, it’s 50s, it’s black and white! But not everyone is happy with this direction. Sam thinks Christmas isn’t about glitz and glamour, but about being together and helping others. He doesn’t want to be a part of this, since on the day of the shoot, there will also be a soup kitchen and Sam wants to help out. Since he knows what it’s like to be homeless, he cannot let other homeless people go hungry.
Apart from Quinn, others disagree. Christmas is supposed to be fun! Sam asks if Rory wants to help, since Sam took Rory under his wing. This is something I completely forgot about and I cannot remember why this happened. But Rory, albeit reluctantly, says he thinks it’s better to join the special. Sam is upset and leaves.
So the special begins. Kurt and Blaine sing Let It Snow and welcome the viewer into their chalet. They are… best friends and holiday roommates, since this is supposedly the 50s. Mercedes and Rachel come in and sing. Then, Finn and Puck come in, dressed as Star Wars characters, but not really, since that would be copyright infringement, so they are just generic sci-fi people. They also sing and it always freaks me out to listen to since both their actors are dead. Brittany comes in to sing with Santana and Tina as back-up and a lot of Cheerleaders as dancers. Mike is Santa. Everyone is overacting and trying to extra comedic, like they did in comedies in the 50s.
Lastly, Rory the Elf comes in to read an uplifting Christmas story, but Rory’s changed his mind. Instead, he reads a touching and wistful story about helping others or something.
The show cuts to Sam and Quinn in the community center food kitchen. Sam thanks Quinn for helping. But surprise, surprise, the others come in too! And they brought presents! Rory’s story touched everyone’s hearts and they stopped the shoot to help out. They sing Do They Know It’s Christmas while handing out gifts to poor children. How heartwarming!
Sam’s not really done with helping people in need. He and Rory then go out to collect money for the Salvation Army. Finn and Rachel come in. By now, Finn has given Rachel the bling she desires, but after everything that’s happened, Rachel’s realised material gifts aren’t what Christmas is for. So Rachel dumps the bling in the donation box. Finn and Rachel pick up bells and help Sam and Rory.
Let’s just, uh, ignore the fact that the Salvation Army is deeply homophobic, transphobic and conservatively Christian. Yeah, Rachel with gay dads and Finn with a gay brother and Sam and Rory with queer friends… let’s support this charity!
And that’s it. I think. The Salvation Army and soup kitchen thing may not be in the correct order, but whatever.
I assume Sue did something this episode, but I cannot be bothered to remember what.
SO. THAT KLAINE SCENE, ALSO KNOWN AS THE BOX SCENE.
As I said, people were upset that it got cut. Later, the script of this episode was put up for auction for charity. As a result, people rallied together to buy this script so that we could at least read what had happened. Klainers raised quite some money and bought it. This, in turn, actually turned into a charity called The Box Scene Project, where people could donate money to buy Glee scripts. Obviously, Glee took notice, and I think the two people who ran this were even invited to set. The Box Scene Project did more charity drives and also worked together with a storytelling foundation that also got some people from the Glee cast in it. It was pretty cool to see this grow out of a missing scene.
The Box Scene Project later rebranded to be broader than this one Glee scene. I think it was called Representation Matters or something otherwise generic sounding. I actually lost track of its whereabouts after their rebrand and I do not know if it still exists, but it did, and that is neat.
Like I mentioned above, all of this got noticed, and about half a year after the episode aired Ryan Murphy, the creator of Glee, said he’d release the actual box scene on his new YouTube channel. There was a catch. His new Twitter profile needed an X amount of followers before he’d release it. This pissed people off and there were a lot of puppet accounts with names like FUCK YOU RM and @ihateuforthis and whatnot. But it worked and so, Ryan did as he promised and he posted not only the box scene, but several deleted scenes of this season, like the Santa Baby song, the Santana coming out scene (from season 3 episode 7 fame) and more.
Fun fact, I was actually in China when these things dropped, so I couldn’t really watch them since China didn’t allow YouTube. It did allow Tumblr back then, so I watched the ripped videos that people put on Tumblr. I was actually supposed to be home the day the Warblers song (from season 3 episode 11) got released, but due to delays we missed our flight back home and stayed another day. My Glee loving heart was shattered!
But yeah. That’s all I got to say about this episode. Muis, I am sorry. Or not. Idk. This episode wasn’t necessarily bad, it was just weird.
