#4 more human posts

[ask-cybug-ralph]

I think it's pakka hide. Or buro. It's pretty good either way. How much do you eat anyway?

“How much food makes up a go-kart? Cause I eat about that much every couple o’ days.” He knew he didn’t actually have to eat much more than a quarter sheet cake a day, but sometimes he just came across some good food. His pupils dilated immensely and his expression went flat, but after a few seconds, his face returned to normal and he went right back to eating.

[ask-cybug-ralph]

Vanellope was a little disappointed that she couldn't find her 'valentine' or the Ralph that was suppose to be staying with her anywhere, but she did manage to find the Cy-brid version of the Wrecker. "Hey, Landfill Breath! Happy Valentine's day!" Vanellope handed him a heart shaped box with Vanilla and Strawberry candies, knowing he doesn't like chocolate.

He could sense the disappointment she was hiding as she approached him, but he kept quiet and gave her a smile. “Aww, ya shouldn’t have, Booger-face!” He took the box and looked it over; clearly it was better-suited to a smaller version of himself. He braced himself and glitched, reverting to a human form and sitting down on a nearby truffle rock. “How’s your Valentine’s been, if I may ask?” He patted his lap with one hand, ushering her to come sit with him.

[ask-cybug-ralph]

Ralph nods, "It's fine, it's weird that he wants to take care of them, though, especially since he's probably pretty good at the exact opposite. Did he say why he cares?"

He frowned slightly, "I don't think the Queen would like that too much, and if that was the case, we'd have to move back in, and then I'd be going back on my promise to you. Besides, I don't know if she'd trust someone she hasn't met with them, Cy-Bug or no."

((He's working on it, it's a slow process!))

"His excuse is that a cy-bug's a cy-bug, whether human or not- it's why they pitch a fit whenever I downsize, watch." Ralph's entire body glitched into bits of binary and rearranged into his old appearance: nine feet tall, overalls and all. The only exceptions were the markings that remained on his face, and if the marine peeked over his shoulder, he'd see the wings still there.

Just like he said, Renard cried out in protest at the change and came running right back out, shoving and scanning and butting his head against the man. "Easy, Renard, it doesn't last long." He patted the cola-bug on the back, seething when he accidentally pricked himself on a spike. "Ooh! That smarts." He stuck the bleeding finger in his mouth. "Yeah, you don' wanna try having 'em here with us."

[ask-cybug-ralph]

The chattering from the Nicelanders continued for a few minutes, then seemed to quiet down. A few more moments passed before Gene stepped back out the door, straightening his tie and clearing his throat. "All right, you can come in now. Mind the step."

Ralph was just starting to get bored when Gene came back out. "Bout time." He pixellated and and glitched until he was down to his 9-foot-tall, human self, then headed inside once his code settled. "So what's this party for? Someone's birthday?"

[ask-cybug-ralph]

"I'll probably stick around here." Amanda said, rubbing the back of her neck, "I should probably get some sleep soon." She smiled up at Ralph. She could have honestly stayed up later, but she felt like she would be annoying if she followed him back. So she figured she'd just visit him another day. "Enjoy the rest of your night, though." she added.

He nodded. "Alright then, sleep well- and remember what I told ya, okay?" He walked over to the little station and stood over the train, then glitched into his little human self and plopped down into one of the chairs. As it hummed to life and started on its way out, Ralph waved her goodbye with a big smile on his face.

[ask-cybug-ralph]

"Well, I appreciate that, Ralph. I really do." Amanda said, smiling back at him. Feeling better now, she strode to the exit. When they reached the exit, she walked past the tram and into the tunnel. Since Ralph obviously wouldn't fit on the tram, she wanted to be polite and just walk with him. Glancing back at him she commented, "By the way, I really like your design. It's very unique. Tell me, what company designed you?"

"Actually, I'm a combination of two games- Er, hang on, we can ride the tram- I just gotta do something real fast." He took a long, deep breath, then glitched and warped to a smaller size. He looked like his human counterparts, with the exception of the red strips on his face and wings on his back. "It'll make the whole 'big bad bug' thing a real surprise."

[ask-cybug-ralph]

"A short story would be wonderful. The continuing adventures of the man of the forest?"

"Sure. You wanna here the one about his battle at the Tower of Terrors I bet- takes place after Defending the Forest anyway." He cleared his throat as he stepped over a large pond.

"Once upon a time, the Man of the Forest was with his friends when the locals from a nearby village cried out for help. He ran as fast as he could to the village, and the people were scared. 'There are monsters that plague our lands!' they said to him." He adjusted his hold on Vanellope and ducked under a tree. "'They eat our crops, they destroy our homes, and even haunt us in our very dreams! !'

"The Man of the Forest was not sure what he could do, but they insisted that he was the only one who could save them. So, with fists raised and a battle cry, the Man of the Forest charged into their fields with great courage. The beasts looked upon their challenger with sickly green glares," He looked right at Vanellope and his eyes switched to the default cy-bug settings, "and choked out laughter from blood-stained throats filled with row upon row of teeth.

"They fought tooth and nail, fist and claw, day and night. For every one he destroyed, two took its place. All hope would seem lost... But then," He continued, "Bright lights shot across the battlefield and vaporized some of the monsters, putting them in disarray; the villagers had managed to find weapons amongst the fallen monsters, and offered the most powerful one of all to him."

He arrived in town and took a moment on the outskirts to downsize to his human form and adjust his hold on her. "However, he turned it down. 'You use them' he said, 'I have slain many under my own power- you will need them more than I.' The Man of the Forest had remembered something of these insect-like beasts: if there was a swarm, there was a hive. And where there was a hive," He smiled as he walked down the street, "There's a queen.

"So he raced to find their home, eager to take down that which commanded those beasts in the first place!" Ralph took off in a run toward the castle, "For no queen would mean no command, and no command meant no army. The Man of the Forest slew every creature that got in his way with just his bare hands!" He slowed a bit and shoved the gate blocking the road to the palace open with his free arm, then walked through. "He stood before the nest, and looked upon the highest point in the foreboding citadel; there she was." He pointed up to the top of her castle, trying to paint a picture for her.

"A loud, high-pitched cry rang out from there to the ends of the earth, a command to protect their queen. But because of the villagers and their weapons, as well as the Man of the Forest's own destruction wreaked upon her army, none answered." He arrived at the front gates, where a command of angry guards chastised him for leaving with the princess against Sour Bill's order to stay indoors. "Oh stuff it! She's fine, we're back, all's good, right?" His story would have to wait until this matter was sorted out.

[ask-cybug-ralph]

Tartlet's a girl and she's adorable. Her smooshed up face gives her character! *goes inside* How big do you want your pizza?

Ralph started to glitch and warp, and when Jubileena looked out her back door again, he was humanoid, seated on the ground and petting the pug with his big hands. "Biggest you can fit in your oven, if that's good with you."