ive gotten 2/3 of my family hooked on tf2 and it’s so surreal
not @ my dad getting all his kids butterfly knives so we can “be like spy”
-> this has created HILARIOUS scenarios, like one of my sisters backstabbing the other and then skateboarding away, saying “off to visit your mother!”
speaking of my dad, he’s the stupidest. he’s chosen TF2 ytps as his preferred Videos To Watch When High. his favourite characters are, and i quote, “bucket guy, coffin dance guy, and Ritalin Kid”. you can guess who’s who
also! speaking of tf2 crack vids, we use StBlackSt videos to teach the kids how to count, by telling them to count the ducks in the background (i am being dead serious)
-> like we’ve watched the Unusual Troubles series so much we can quote them off memory. it’s gotten to the point that they don’t want to watch any other youtuber because it’s “not the silly show”
🎫 here’s a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers
HEEHOO- well, don’t mind if i do~🥴
‘gush however much you want’ YIKES- SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT-
ANYWAYS, LADIES AND DEGENERATES, THE FIRST OF ITS KIND (probably):
💚SHREK GUSH💚
[⚠️LONG ASS POST (someone tell me to shut up)⚠️]
TLDR: Shrek is more of a charming prince than Prince Charming
OKAY SO- when you put all the memes and the cringeyness and everything aside, Shrek is actually pretty cool. (I’ve had Shrek on repeat for the past 3-4 days. Trust me.)
You’ve probably seen the theory thing where it’s like “Shrek pauses when Donkey asks for his name, so Shrek made it up on the spot.” If you actually watched the movie, the pause he makes isn’t a ‘thinking’ pause. It’s a ‘holy shit no one’s ever asked me my name before’ pause.
And most of his lines are kind of agressive or just blunt. But when he responds with his name, it’s one of the few times he’s quiet and soft and it’s just🥺🥺🥺
ALSO MY FAVOURITE THING!!! IS THE EXCHANGE OF:
“really?” “really really.”
when Shrek is like “im an ogre!! doesn’t that bother you?🤕” and donkey’s like “nope!😃” and Shrek is like “...really?” and Donkey’s just “really really!😁” SIR MY HEART- like what I WOULDNT DO to be Donkey just so that I could tell Shrek that he’s perfect just the way he is...
or when donkey and Shrek cross the bridge and just-
“Come on, Donkey. I’m right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support. We’ll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time.”
“Really?”
“Really really.”
AND SHREK GIVES HIM THE MOST GENUINE LOOK EVER AND I MELT EVERY TIME LIKE HOW COULD YOU NOT I-
also, on the topic of the bridge scene- the line: “that’ll do, donkey. that’ll do. :)” is my favourite line in the whole movie
and Shrek’s a tsundere which is ADORABLE because big scary beast + tsundere is the BEST COMBINATION
OOH OOH- AND!!!!!! (thanks to demo) i’ve developed a fondness for Scottish accents! so whenever he says ‘aye’ instead of ‘yeah’ my heart gets all jittery and fluttery and💗💖💞💓💕💗💞💓💗💕
AND AND AND!!!! when they’re in the forest and fiona’s like “there are robbers in the woods...🥺” Shrek gets all protective n he’s all “I’m scarier than anything we’re gonna see in this forest😏” DUDE
OK AND LEMME GET TO MY FAVOURITE PART BEFORE SOMEONE SHOOTS ME YOU CAN SKIP EVERYTHING ELSE BUT PLS-
In the scene where Shrek is rescuing Fiona from the castle, Fiona gets all upset and huffy and she asks “what kind of knight are you???!?!” and shrek goes
“One of a kind.”
WITH THE LIL SMIRK AND THE LIL SALUTE OML YOU CANT SEE ME RN BUT IM TEARING UP DUDE THIS WAS THE MOMENT I FELL FOR HIM D U D E
IN SUMMARY: Shrek is a one of a kind, sweet goofball whom I “really really” love (and you should too!!!)
everyone is simping for raymond and wilbur and patches and eVERY OTHER RACE EXCEPT ELEPHANTS.
i go look for merch. NOTHING but CATS and DOGS and the OCCASIONAL BEAR. even the damn KANGAROOS get more love.
the only one you guys’ll even LOOK at is the damn teacup b!tch
WHERE is my justice for AXEL and BIG TOP and CHAI and CYD (even tho he a b!tch) and DIZZY and ELINA and ELLIE and ELOISE (😚) and MARGIE and OPAL and my boi PAOLO and don’t even get me STARTED on TUCKER ERASURE
